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Original poster

AIBU to keep ds off school now for however long it takes for vaccine roll out.

46 replies

Whattheactual20201 · 28/12/2020 01:22

I have 1DS and 2 DDs

DD1 had a heart transplant, recent sepsis, chronic lung disease and neutropenia.
DD2 has recently come home from NICU but is “ healthy “ but newborn.
DS is 13
DD1 is off school and has been under consultants guidance since March.
We live in London and I’m at the point now where I feel it’s safer if DS is at home with us.
Their dad ( dad of older 2 disagrees ) DS needs to focus on his education.
I am so torn :(
DS doesn’t mind either way.

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 28/12/2020 01:28

YANBU

With a vaccine coming why take the risk. Keep him off and protect your daughters x

EatsFartsAndLeaves · 28/12/2020 01:29

YANBU I'd keep them off. No education is worth the fear you'll have sending them to school every day in this situation.

Mummyto3gorgeousgirlies · 28/12/2020 01:30

It's the end game! Keep protecting your family, if your son really doesn't mind and you don't think it's impacting his mental well-being then I'd stay home in your situation - good luck with whatever decision you make x

eeeyulesmiles · 28/12/2020 01:43

YANBU

bumblenbean · 28/12/2020 01:44

If DA doesn’t mind, I’d keep him home in a heartbeat. I really feel for parents like you with vulnerable children where the other siblings are at school - it must be so tough.

Best of luck Flowers

ARoseDowntown · 28/12/2020 02:04

So sorry for all your worries.

This is really hard. 13yo is a tough age to be off: if you keep him off school, will you also keep him away from playing with friends, playing team sports etc?

Is his dad generally decent, and a good father?

Would you consider DS living with his dad and going to school etc until he’s vaccinated? You at home with the girls?

Such a dilemma. Flowers

DrizzleandDamp · 28/12/2020 02:05

Wow I came on to say YABU but you aren’t, with that medical history I would keep him home or allow him to stay with dad which I guess would be hard but possible?

Countdowntonothing · 28/12/2020 02:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Whattheactual20201 · 28/12/2020 02:08

Erm dad is a bit of a Disney dad to DS and absolutely shocking with DD.
So with DS he rocks up every so often for a exciting fun day out and money etc
Maybe 4/5 times a year
DD not so much as a birthday card.

OP posts:
Countdowntonothing · 28/12/2020 02:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mlh123 · 28/12/2020 02:22

YANBU. I would not be sending him. Flowers

CelestrialWarrior · 28/12/2020 02:26

DD1 should definitely be shielding if she is Neutropenic.

housemdwaswrong · 28/12/2020 02:29

Yanbu. You've come this far, you're their mum, you know the score. If one of you caught it with no idea where from, or from a hospital appt. etc that would be difficult. If your ds catches it when it was potentially avoidable, and you've worked so hard to keep them safe, that would be awful.

Flowers
Original poster
Whattheactual20201 · 28/12/2020 02:29

@CelestrialWarrior she is shielding. However the Guidance schools are going by is only the shielded children should not attend school in tier 4
Children living with them should attend school
DD has not been at school since March at all even when shielding children were told they could go back she was kept off by doctor.

OP posts:
ARoseDowntown · 28/12/2020 02:33

Ah, Disney dad.

I would keep DS home. The vaccine is in sight, and your DS is willing. Maybe you could try creative ways to allow him to be a 13yo boy as much as necessary to keep life sane and stable.

Good luck OP.

PollyDarton1 · 28/12/2020 08:00

I would be keeping DS off too. Sending you Thanks, this must be so difficult for you.

JacobReesMogadishu · 28/12/2020 08:08

Keep him off for sure. Your Dd won’t practically be shielding if she lives in a house with a sibling going to school every day.

ReefTeeth · 28/12/2020 08:12

Another one saying keep your ds at home.

Tbh I'd be keeping all my DC home if we still lived in London. I think it's madness not to.

Lumene · 28/12/2020 08:14

YANBU.

If there is a relative DS could stay with for 3-6 months and also go to school I would also consider that.

Also there is a question of how long you would be prepared to keep him off if things change?

User158340 · 28/12/2020 08:16

I wouldn't have them anywhere near a school..

PotteringAlong · 28/12/2020 08:21

I would send DS to live with his dad so he can keep going to school. There’s a vaccine counter so you can work out roughly when you will get it. I’m a secondary school teacher, meant to be priority after healthcare staff and the elderly and I’m not due to have it until sept 2021. It could be another 12 months before he returns to school.

FestiveFannyGallops · 28/12/2020 08:22

Keep them at home. I'm CEV and wish I could keep mine at home until I'm vaccinated. There should be a choice for parents in this situation. Thanks for you. Do what's best for your family.

ChablisandCrisps · 28/12/2020 08:23

I think @Lumene has a good suggestion re- staying with a relative or school friend as if schools are open, they are unlikely to be receptive to you opting not to send him in. If this isn't possible, deregister and home school is the only option you have for DD.

PotteringAlong · 28/12/2020 08:23

www.omnicalculator.com/health/vaccine-queue-uk

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 28/12/2020 08:23

YANBU. One of my teacher friends calls her school a “time bomb waiting to go off” and another has brought Covid home for Christmas and her DH is now in HDU.

You won’t be entirely able to eliminate the risk because it will continue to circulate amongst children, because they won’t be vaccinated, and you won’t be either for a while, but in your shoes I’d do it.