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Original poster

Weddings next year May 2021

35 replies

Starsuns · 26/12/2020 13:49

Afternoon MN,
I am really hoping to get some opinions here about my wedding (I'm aware it's a first world problem). Can you see a 100 plus guest count in May 2021 going ahead?
Because I don't and I really don't want it to go ahead. We've already cancelled twice and the stress is ridiculous.
My friends keeping saying it's something to look forward to but I secretly hate them mentioning it and wish they wouldn't. Also friends are understandably asking what's the plan, so it go ahead in May? I don't know what to say.
I really really don't want to have it next year. Feel like I'm in limbo.
Can I ask if you think it'll happen? I know there is a vaccine etc but I see the next 12 months with more lock downs and tiers, working from home and minimal if any socialising.

Thanks in advance

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QueenAnnaOfArrandale · 26/12/2020 13:56

We are in Scotland so the tiers are maybe different but we are expecting tier 0 for our August wedding which is 50 people.
That's the best we can see happening if I'm honest and most people I've spoke to seem to agree.

I think it'll be probably Autumn/winter before vaccinations are finished and things are normal again if I'm honest.

Sorry that's maybe more pessimistic than you were hoping for 🙈

MerlotChiantiMontepulicano · 26/12/2020 14:06

For May, I'd say 100 people is optimistic.

If it were me I'd get married the first available appointment the local registry office has and have a party for the 100 when I could.

Alwaysandforeverhere · 26/12/2020 14:09

I’d say restricted numbers. Have we even been above 30 since March?

Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:12

Thanks for the replies.
We did get married with 2 guests in July so my husband don't need a wedding until we can have everyone there so a restricted, small wedding would be pointless for our circumstances.
I don't see big wedding happening until Christmas next year.
I just hate the not knowing. We put off trying for a baby just in case I got pregnant and was heavily pregnant in May 2021. If I knew weddings weren't going ahead now I'd probably be more relaxed and focus on conceiving

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Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:13

...I'm a bit of a control freak Grin

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QueenAnnaOfArrandale · 26/12/2020 14:16

Most people I know who want a big wedding have put off until 2022, if it's a big wedding you want I would say the safest bet would be to move it out to 2022.

I hate not knowing either which is why I think we've settled on 50 is going to be the most and that's it. It takes any guess work out of it and I can plan without being disappointed it'll be bigger.

YakkityYakYakYak · 26/12/2020 14:16

It’s really hard to say isn’t it, I just don’t think anyone really knows what we’re likely to be able to do by then.
Do you have a date by when you’d need to cancel/postpone? Maybe wait and see what sort of state we’re in closer to the time.

LemonTT · 26/12/2020 14:16

We simply don’t know. It’s pointless planning things until the situation changes and we have more confidence in how the virus can be managed.

I am sorry that you couldn’t have a wedding as you wanted. But I don’t understand why people keep doing this to themselves over Christmas and holidays and celebrations

YakkityYakYakYak · 26/12/2020 14:18

Just read your latest response. Given that you’re already married, do you definitely still want/need the big wedding celebration. If not, then COVID could be a good excuse to skip it and save a lot of money.

SillyOldMummy · 26/12/2020 14:22

I wouldn't take a bet on May being possible. We have a holiday in France rolled forward from last May half term to the same dates in 2021, we expect the holiday will be cancelled.

Until we reach herd immunity from vaccination, I can't see much change in the rules being possible. If you look at the vaccination roll out plan, late September might be a better date (assuming new variants and strains don't require us all to be re-vaccinated with an updated vaccine).

TroubadorinTrouble · 26/12/2020 14:24

It’s very difficult but I’d also agree May for 100+ is very optimistic. I think it would be more realistic that it will go ahead albeit with restricted numbers. Personally, I’d push back into 2022.

Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:26

we definitely want a proper wedding. We had 2 guests at our summer wedding, just 2 family members so I think it's understandable we'd like a big wedding when able. We don't care if it's In a year's time or 3 years time but at some point we want a big party and the wedding we'd initially planned for.
However we want to try for a family.
Our original date was 2nd of may 2020 so we've moved the date to Oct 2021 and then mid May 2021 and told our guests ....as we were naïve and thought a year plus after the cancellation would be enough time.
Now I feel we're lumbered with a May2021 date.
We've got a lot of money tied up in deposits maybe we'll be in lock down again so can get our money back on the deposits.
I am just angry with myself that we didn't just cancel back in May this year rather than postpone. It would've be so much easier.

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Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:27

LemonTT sorry I don't follow? What am I doing wrong over Christmas and celebrations by asking for opinions about a May wedding? Hmm

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SimplyRadishing · 26/12/2020 14:27

All of our friends who want a big wedding have pushed to 2022.

Any "tier" is 15 people max (even tier 1)

You will be creating a load of stress and expense for nothing.

rookiemere · 26/12/2020 14:37

I think you're doing the right thing OP thinking about this now and potentially rearranging.
I can't see 100 guest weddings going ahead in May, or if they do I can't see you getting any certainty until late April. Possibly back to normal from August onward.

Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:41

Not creating any additional expense or stress because it's already moved 3 times and we agreed months ago for a date in May 2021 understandably thinking it would be fine. But it's not fine Sad

I was just interested in opinions for next May and I agree with many that it won't happen in May2021

Really my question comes from needing to get opinions to deal with another wedding postponing again after twice before.
My husband is far more relaxed but obviously I'm not and my friends need clarify.

If the general consensus is move to 2022 then that is something we seriously need to consider
It's really really helpful to get opinions (because weirdly everyone around me is saying May 2021 will be fine Confused)

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Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:42

Thanks rookiemere this is what I needed to hear!
My husband is saying leave it, don't worry and my friends are thinking they're being nice and saying it'll be fine.
I really just want to move it to at least 2022 and everyone here has helped me think this is makes sense

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Butterflyfluff · 26/12/2020 14:48

We did get married with 2 guests in July

If you are already married and refer to your other half as ‘husband’, why the need for a huge wedding?

I’d have thought it will be quite an anticlimax

PurBal · 26/12/2020 14:49

Friend due to marry in August 2021 has been told to prepare for reduced numbers (planning 100) or postponement.

Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:56

Butterflyfluff really? We cancelled our planned wedding and got legally married in front of 2 people. We want a big party with all our friends and family there as planned, like most couples want.

I can't imagine after the year we've had our friends and family would be so picky to think it's pointless or an anticlimax....jeez

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Original poster
Starsuns · 26/12/2020 14:56

Thanks PurBal

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MaryShelley1818 · 26/12/2020 14:56

Honestly I think 100-person party is very unlikely for May.
2022 is more realistic but I have tbh and say I'd find it really bizarre going to celebrate the Wedding of people who actually got married several years earlier. I think you need to maybe focus on ttc and just moving on. Lots of people missed out on things during lockdown unfortunately. I'm sorry you didn't get your Wedding though, it must be hard. Anniversary party?

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 26/12/2020 15:05

I’d have an anniversary party when it’s safe to do so.

Lots may not want to attend a wedding that’s not actually a wedding. All the expense for something that’s fake and just for show even after this years events. If anything, it would put me off more as we have learnt that most things aren’t important but just wants.

Nicecupofcoco · 26/12/2020 15:18

We get married next summer too, so watching with interest! Ours is August but will just go ahead with what we can do at the time. Makes it hard to plan though! I think it's great you guys got married, and understand that you want the big celebration, I think in your shoes I'd ask your venue when the latest you could postpone the date, and postpone if need be... But I do agree with posters above about making it an anniversary party! I'd postpone , and TTC! Good luck!

rookiemere · 26/12/2020 15:19

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss i think that's quite a mean spirited post. I loved my wedding day because everyone that was special to me or DH were all in a room together celebrating our marriage. That can still happen - when rules permit - regardless if you're already married or not.

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