I don't know how to cope with tier 4

[Vindresi2020]

Just the title, really.

I got diagnosed with BPD aged 23, amongst other mental issues, mentally I'm very ill. I'm a mature student, I live in a house share, so I can't create a support bubble. My houseshare people are lovely but they can't support me, they don't even know I have BPD and I'd never put that on them.

I haven't seen my boyfriend- the person who keeps me going- unless outside in 2 months- I know it's Christmas but I feel so low.

I don't know how to do months more of this.

I wish I lived alone so I could form a support bubble with partner but I can't move in with him.

Is there ANY exemption for someone like me? I'm not 'sad.' I'm not using mental health as an excuse. I'm genuinely so low and empty and the thought of it only being legal to see my partner on a bloody park bench is getting to me.

If it makes a difference, I receive Disabled Students Allowance. I guess technically I am 'disabled,' just not physically.

I'm sorry for the negative post- and I hope anyone who sees this has had a lovely Christmas.

Also, please don't be harsh. I know the rules are important, I know that. But I'm at breaking point and I can't do months of this.

It's got nothing to do with empathy. Yes it's awful. Yes it's getting to all of us.

Believe me I've had enough this year in loneliness, grief and despair to know how bloody awful it is.

No one is expected to be lonely or lack support. But we are expected to make reasonable sensible decisions. How is mixing with flat mates, work and another house hold sensible?!

And it will go on and on...

OP, see your bf, see him inside if your flatmates/his flatmate are okay with this. You sound self aware and caring.

I had a BPD diagnosis a few years ago (although I only present as such when I'm in crisis, it is not pervasive and I am able to hold down work/study/children), and when in that space, I understand the horrible, crawling desperation and suffocating anger and anxiety, please do whatever you need to do to feel better.

Hi OP definitely one of the exemptions is related to mental health issues and restbite care/support. So yes you can meet your OH.

I think some people are worried about being judged but reality is that you can prove it's genuine reasons and you need to take each day as it comes. If that means some days you need extra support then please do so.

No police officer is going to fine you for it and as long as you explain to those closest I also wouldn't post all over social media either etc.
Some people lack empathy because they don't understand or wish to and just see it as rule breaking! There is a big difference from the people who go sod it and have multiple indoor meetings/parties and those who meet one other for mental health support.

100% meet up with him.
Under the rules you are allowed to and why wouldn't you?

I'm meeting my bf as usual (twice a week).
I live far away from my family and no chance of seeing them for a few more months I would have thought. I live in a house share, we like each other, but are not friends, we stay in our individual rooms most of the time.

I need sex and intimacy to get me through this and seeing my bf is the highlight of my life at the moment as I'm not allowed to go any of the other things that make my life worth living.

Gatherings are allowed if the purpose is to prevent illness or injury in any of the people there.

Thank you everyone- We went for a walk today, but still didn't go inside. I also spoke to my parents, which has helped. We're thinking about me going to his as he only lives with one person, so it's less contact than if he comes to mine.

I think the last few days has also made me realise I really need to bug my doctor about actually getting some proper help. I understand the NHS is very busy right now, though, however I have still received none of the help I was offered many months ago.

Thanks again for all the lovely replies.

OP - you may need to be a bit pushy to get the help you need. Find a GP in your practice that is decent at dealing with mental health and ask for regular reviews with them and a referral if you need it. (Although if you are having private therapy the CMHT might use that as a reason to not get involved with you) Mental health services are all open for business although lots of appointments are by phone or video. Some services may use the pandemic as a reason to not offer a full service but really it's no excuse.
I also agree with the suggestions to speak to your housemates about your diagnosis.

I just wanted to update to say I am feeling a lot more positive tonight. I'm avoiding Covid related news for a bit and trying to have some 'me' time.

That’s great to hear OP. I always feel better when I switch the news off. It’s that constant low level stress which is difficult.

I hope you can continue to spend time with your partner and do bug your GP for some help.

And there is also this thread full of people who want to support you