Anyone with ASD or additional needs children finding it all too much? :(

[sunbathingonthebeach]

Just that really, DC2 is nearly 5 and has ASD. I love him to bits but it’s exhaustingly hard work, he has a lot of screaming meltdowns and needs constant supervision. Feeling a bit disheartened at the thought of schools not going back as that’s the time I need to recharge and breathe as well as be able to actually do anything like cleaning and so on. The initial lockdown was horrible and I couldn’t adequately homeschool my elder child as DS’s needs are so demanding that it just wasn’t doable.

The thought of going through it again and is really stressing me out.

Does he have an ECHP? If so and the schools close to the majority of children he may be able to attend under the "vulnerable child" umbrella, in fact he may be able to anyway if the school are aware of his difficulties. I've already decided that my 10yo ASD/ADHD son will be taking up his vulnerable child pace if it's offered. School holidays and changes to routine are already a big trigger and when he took up the place in June our home life improved massively.

If it has that much of an effect on him he should be classed as vulnerable and able to remain in. My ASD child was kept in throughout the first closure due to the impact on her (and her sibling due to her being home).

I’m in the same boat OP.

Eldest DS (8) in process of ADHD diagnosis and on SEN register. It’s a nightmare at home and I’m not sure I can survive another period of home schooling. Single parent and a younger DC who also suffers from his brother’s outbursts. I actually broke down in the phone to the SENCO the other day. No EHCP as needs can be met in school.

Last time school were really difficult re places even though I’m also a keyworker and have a letter from work. Eventually they let him attend 2 1/2 days a week when his sibling went back as a reception age child.

I feel totally defeated tbh and a bit desperate.

My school has said vulnerable children can attend on the first week of online learning in January. I'm wondering what qualifies as 'vulnerable' and who decides? My son has autism but no ehcp and in a mainstream school so I'm guessing they will say he isn't vulnerable enough.

Could have written your post myself OP. 5 yo exactly the same although still in the process of a formal diagnosis so no ECHP in place. I guess only time will tell if primaries do close and if he's classed as vulnerable or not

Thanks for the replies everyone. We don’t have an EHCP yet as he’s just been formally diagnosed, he’s in reception so only started school a couple of months ago. It’s something I want to speak to them about though as the paediatrician recommended it.

Didn’t realise there may be potential for him to be classed as a vulnerable child. Fingers crossed there might be a way for him to attend even in the event of lockdown and school closure. He loves school and it would benefit my elder DC massively, I already feel bad for all the missed education over the spring/summer.

Mine is the same. The problem with sending them to school as a vulnerable child is that if school is different, with different teachers and in a different space it will possible cause more trouble that it is worth.

I am gutted at the thought of it too OP.

My son is 22 and severely autistic. Thankfully school are dedicated to remaining Open. The first 7 weeks of lockdown were hellish.

7yo DS2 has asd and was in (mainstream) school throughout lockdown, mainly because I’m a keyworker, but school had said that even when DH was furloughed he could go in as it was of huge benefit and because of his asd he was classed as vulnerable.

He coped better than I thought - probably because class sizes were way smaller, school a lot quieter than normal and he got more 1-1 with the teacher!

Feel better that I’m not alone, lockdown/homeschooling is tough anyway but it’s a whole different kettle of fish when you throw ASD and other additional needs into the mix.

Yes I have two sons with asd and adhd. I’m exhausted. My dh hides in his office all day and appears much less now the kids are at all. I’ve finished work for the holidays but I’m left with the kids all day long. One is especially hard work. Dh also contributes minimally to housework but won’t get anyone into help despite being able to afford it.

Absolutely. The n the first few weeks of lockdown although DS2 was going to school (as a keyworker kid) no learning was happening, they were just in childcare bubbles. So we had the joy of picking him up then attempting to homeschool from 4pm 🙄 He’s very much of the opinion that school is for school, and home is home and never the two shall meet. Once they started getting a few more kids in, they got put into year group bubbles and teaching was started. I’ll be eternally grateful if we never have to go back to homeschool again!

@HumphreyCobblers

Mine is the same. The problem with sending them to school as a vulnerable child is that if school is different, with different teachers and in a different space it will possible cause more trouble that it is worth.

I am gutted at the thought of it too OP.

We have the same issue 😔

I feel your pain 💔
Was over the moon today to be told the bade I work in in a mainstream school will be open to all out base kids. So we will just be in school as normal after Christmas, some of my kids may be less enthusiastic though 🤔😁

I hear you, I have 3 children (although one who is an adult) with ASD.
The youngest who is 6 has been none stop screaming and hitting out for weeks.
School is the only respite we get and they need routine.
I love them with everything but some days (like yesterday) I felt like walking out.

Yep I'm struggling- 3 out of 4 of my kids have sen and I'm exhausted, I have a really supportive husband but still struggling

I have two children. My one without asd was offered a place in school as a young carer. So thats another angle (if it wouldnt cause resentment)

I've just read this nodding along. My 5yo has been the same the past few days. He has no diagnosis and school say they don't have any trouble at all. I feel like I'm going insane.

Schools definitely have the authority to keep the kids who are missed by the ehcp/social worker definition of vulnerable. Mine had neither in March and was kept in.

School initially contacted the LA about respite to help through lockdown and were quite bluntly told if a child has enough SEN for a school to feel a parent needs respite then that means school should be keeping them in.

Mumofsend luckily that’s the way our school handled it. DS2 has diagnosis, is on the Sen register but no ehcp. He absolutely needs his routine, and frankly the longer he’s out of school the harder it is to get him back in so we’d have had weeks of daily meltdowns, etc (just like we do every september)

Yes I have 2 with ASD amongst other things and things are at breaking point.I had desperately hoped when they expanded support bubbles they would include disabled children but we missed out again as they are over 5. I really don’t know how this is going to end up but we can’t go on like this.

Asd/adhd here and I’m already exhausted, anxious for if the schools don’t go back and how that will impact my ability to work. I’m so done :(

No advice as such op but I’m with you. Consent meltdowns drain me.
However, at the meltdowns less over the holidays? So lockdown might work for you (still hard, but less meltdowns). DD has less meltdowns in holidays if we are at home.

So sorry for everyone struggling, it has been so hard for families with SEN children over the last 9 months. I am also desolate at the thought of another set of school closures. I have 7yo dd (now under SENCO) and 6 yo ds with ASC and an EHCP. Both in mainstream. I had a near breakdown last June after attempting to home school then both, juggle my self employed work whilst dd struggled with health anxiety and insomnia due to covid and ds had daily meltdowns. Dd ended up back in school in June but despite EHCP the risk assessment done by school for ds deemed him better off at home. It was hellish. I will fight and fight for a place for at least one of them.

Just to add we are in NW and been in toughest restrictions nearly throughout. Our normal help of grandparents has gone as too vulnerable. The local autism charity that usually supports us and organised activities is not allowed to run. No trampolining no soft play which are essential in regulating ds sensory needs. Really feel like the rug has been pulled out from under us. Have a social worker now and have been granted 2 hours a week respite but funding hasn’t come through yet.