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Original poster

So angry about Christmas

83 replies

Mousehole10 · 22/12/2020 09:52

I was very up set at the weekend and now seem to have reached the anger stage. We are in tier 4, Christmas completely cancelled and not even allowed to meet in groups outside. Its been w hard year and I was holding onto the hope of seeing some family for our dds first Christmas. It’s so, so unfair that the rest of the country is allowed to mix with family for one day and we are not. Cases are riding in most places, lockdown imminent. Why haven’t they either locked the entire country down now, or allowed everyone one day at Christmas? When things were bad in the north, with rates higher than I am now, they were only tier 3 and would have been allowed Christmas Day. Now things are bad here and everything is banned. It’s not fair. Sorry just want to moan about it.

OP posts:
tartanbow · 22/12/2020 11:09

urgh some people on here are soo grim. OP you are allowed to feel upset. It is shit.

@elenacampana I'm sorry you've had a hard time but that is really unnecessary. People are allowed to feel rubbish and feel justified in how they feel even if others on the face of it are having a worst time.

dingoesatemybaby · 22/12/2020 11:13

@Mousehole10

Thanks everyone for your comments. I do know that we need the restrictions, was just really hoping they would give us that one day before we all locked down. As it is now we don’t even have that and are facing full lockdown in January. I know other places have had a harder year with restrictions. But the fact is even in tier 2 we weren’t allowed to see family (all far away and we couldn’t mix inside), so we’ve also had a long time without seeing our family. I do have a DH so am not completely alone, so I’m thankful for that. But doesn’t change that I’m still very upset and angry at the situation in general, and all my family are missing out on their first grandchild and we are missing out on any help for the foreseeable.
This makes a lot more sense OP. If you'd opened with this I think you'd have had a lot more support and sympathy. Moaning about it being unfair and comparing to the North didn't help your case.

I do feel for you. My elderly grandparents are stuck in Tier 4 and now alone for Christmas as they aren't eligible for being in a support bubble as they are a couple. It's so sad, and I do feel for everyone in this totally sucky situation.

(Just don't complain about fairness when it comes to the North Wink)

Scarlett1251 · 22/12/2020 11:14

I'm in tier 4, whatever other parts of the country are allowed or not allowed to do won't change that and won't improve my Christmas. This issue has come up several times this year, with parts of the country getting resentful about what others can do - then they share 'be kind'or 'let's all pull together' statuses. Rules can only be dictated by where the virus is prevalent. It's not unfair or favouring one part of the country over another.

Abraxan · 22/12/2020 11:28

But did you feel really bad when the north was locked down in tier 3 when you were in tier 2, for months, despite the rates in many northern towns being way lower than ever before? Many of those places are now much much lower rates per 100,000 than a lot of those tier 2 areas were, but are still stuck in tier 3 and have been for weeks/months.

And actually yes - even in tier 3 many of us have had their Christmas plans fall around them. My family live too far away for a day visit. I haven't seen my 7y nephew since a brief distanced visit early summer. He sobbed his heart out when he found out that our Boxing Day plans had to be cancelled. My dd was so upset, despite being technically an adult, not to see her family. She's lost her grades and two great grandparents during this time, plus a Miriam of other unfortunate events for our family as well as her mum (me) being hospitalised with covid a couple of months ago. Yes it's totally rubbish and I feel for anyone unable to,see their family this week especially.

It's all rubbish, but just because I can't see my family at Christmas, despite a dreadful year, I don't wish that in anyone else who is fortunate enough to be able to do so. Instead I actually hope they have an amazing time visiting their loved ones and enjoy every minute of it.

Abraxan · 22/12/2020 11:29

@WhiteChocTwix

I agree with you OP. Also Tier 4, feeling angry and disappointed at the situation is a perfectly valid way to feel!
It is okay to be upset and disappointed. It's fine to feel angry.

But I do wish people wouldn't then think that everywhere else should be subject to the same restrictions. Why do you want everyone else to suffer?

CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/12/2020 11:35

It's not tit for tat Xmas Hmm. For what it's worth I'm tier 3 (and have been restricted for months, unlike London) and my plans were for Christmas Eve so they have been cancelled. Although we could move it to Christmas day we've decided not to, to keep everyone safe. It's one day, I don't understand why there is so much drama about it.

ColourMeExhausted · 22/12/2020 11:56

I understand your anger OP. And it's totally ok to feel like this. We've had to 'suck up' so much this year but Christmas family plans cancelled is just too big for this suck up straw I'm afraid. Yes I get why they're doing it. Yes will be complying and yes I know how lucky I am to have what I have. Doesn't stop me from feeling sad and angry on everyone's behalf. It's shit. I'm in Scotland so could see family for the day except all our family live in England, so nope, not happening for us. My mum has been really struggling, expressing suicidal thoughts, and this has made it worse. Should I tell her to suck it up?

AnnPerkins · 22/12/2020 11:57

@RebeccaCloud9

Have you looked at the colour coded cases map? They've now introduced a new category/colour because cases are so much worse in some areas.

They are over 1000 in many areas of tier 4 and I don't remember seeing that anywhere before. It is strict because it is bad. Loosening those restrictions over Christmas would make it even worse.

I was looking at that map earlier and thought where do they go from dark purple? There's only black left Sad

OP, it is unfair for everyone to one degree or another. But the situation is serious right now so we just have to dig deep. Things will get better.

You're entitled to your moan, just like all of us, but don't let your disappointment spoil your first Christmas with your new family.

timeforanewstart · 22/12/2020 12:24

Its ok for people to feel upset and annoyed , angry etc as well , these are normal human emotions
A lot of what was keeping people going was a brief respite at xmas
Even in tier 2 you can't pop round your mums for a coffee unless you sit outside , but as its been pouring down pretty much on and off in many areas
Lets not pretend life even in tier 2 resembles normal
I am getting sick of seeing just my own walls day in day out only going out in between the rain
So whilst I understand the restrictjons and will follow doesn't mean i have no right to feel upset or angry or that others don't.

timeforanewstart · 22/12/2020 12:26

Also op make the most of not having the stress of carting all babies things to different houses etc and next year your little one will be more into xmas anyway

damnthemanatee · 22/12/2020 12:27

I was feeling for you OP until you started whining about other people being allowed their Christmas.

Actually, my Christmas has been completely fucked up by this and I'm in tier 2. Lots and lots of people outside of tier 4 are facing really shitty Christmases without their loved ones too, some of which are lonely and vulnerable.

Yes it's shit and you have every right to be really pissed off but don't assume that it's only tier 4 areas that are affected.

Stripyhoglets1 · 22/12/2020 12:48

Cases were up to 500/100k up here at the point we were going to go into tier 3. Then country went into the 2nd lockdown for 4 weeks then out into tier 3.
Cases now at 150/100k. A massive drop.
We're still in T3 though. We've had to watch other areas with similar figures remain in T2.
If the government hadn't treated London and the SE like some holy grail that couldn't possibly have its hospitality closed then the new strain may not have spread as much.
YABU to wish everywhere was in T4.
I never wished that when our figures were going into T3 - I understood why it had to happen and why should people who live somewhere with low figures be penalised the same as those of us living in areas with much higher numbers.
BJ had to wait till parliament recessed to announce T4 for London/SE or he night never have got it voted past the anti-restrictions MPs in his own party.
That's why it was announced so late.

Bumpsadaisie · 22/12/2020 13:03

It's hard I know.

But I've been following case rates. The rates in the SE per 100k are approx double what they were in Manchester and West Yorkshire at the height back in October half term.

At that point Manchester was in the 500s, Leeds in the 400s. Thurrock Basildon etc are all over 1000 per 100k today.

Bumpsadaisie · 22/12/2020 13:06

Ps I live in Cumbria and the new strain seems to have here and rates are rocketing.

Eden was 20 ish per 100k every day for weeks until 2 days ago. Now it's 250 and rising very fast.

It won't be long till the rest of the country is going the same way as the SE.

If that's any consolation...

NorbertMeubles · 22/12/2020 14:45

Would it be unfair if Northern cities were locked down as they have been but you were not? I doubt your'd be bothered so maybe time for you to get on with what the rest of us have been living with for some time.

chocolatesaltyxmaspudballs · 22/12/2020 14:50

Please don't complain about unfairness and compare yourself to the North in the same sentence. We are able to have Christmas in a lower tier because we have had months and months of restrictions, which you have not in the SE. As a result of this our cases have dropped enough to allow us to enjoy Christmas, you know, since we didn't get a summer. Some of us up here haven't seen family since July. I understand it's sucks but suck it up, we all had to.

Yep - 100% this

Bumpsadaisie · 22/12/2020 15:02

Ps spare a thought for poor old Leicester - much of which was locked down even in the heights of summer.

Viviennemary · 22/12/2020 15:06

I agree. Christmas should have been cancelled for everybody.

EastBoundAndDown · 22/12/2020 15:13

@TammyHullfigure

It's tough, but it's serious in the SE. Where is your sympathy for those who have not been able to meet family indoors since March (Leicester?) or since the Summer (more of the NW?)

It's shit, and the timing is awful, but locking down everyone else isn't going to make you happier is it?

You are absolutely right. I'm in Leicester not been able to go into peoples houses since March.
EastBoundAndDown · 22/12/2020 15:17

@Bumpsadaisie

Ps spare a thought for poor old Leicester - much of which was locked down even in the heights of summer.
Yep , this. Thank you ! 🙂
Bubblemonkey · 22/12/2020 15:39

Don’t worry. I suspect the rest of the country will have lockdown announced before the years out.

Sittinbythetrees · 22/12/2020 16:00

I understand you feeling upset, disappointed, worried - but not angry. There is no point in being angry with a virus. And it’s not nice or going to help you to be angry with people who happen to live in different part of the country. Christmas is going to be pretty rubbish for everyone, whatever tier they are in if that’s any comfort to you Hmm.

Mortgageandmoney · 22/12/2020 16:06

I'm in tier 2, but very close to tier 4. No mixing at christmas for us, as the rest of my family (15 and 25 minutes away) are in tier 4. Going to be quite upsetting seeing all the families arrive on my street Sad

CheltenhamLady · 22/12/2020 16:27

@dingoesatemybaby

Because the new strain is rife in the SE.

Please don't complain about unfairness and compare yourself to the North in the same sentence. We are able to have Christmas in a lower tier because we have had months and months of restrictions, which you have not in the SE. As a result of this our cases have dropped enough to allow us to enjoy Christmas, you know, since we didn't get a summer. Some of us up here haven't seen family since July. I understand it's sucks but suck it up, we all had to.

This OP. It is one day.
MotherExtraordinaire · 22/12/2020 16:29

Is it really any different to those areas and people that had Eid cancelled at 10pm the night before and Diwali?

Comparing us to the areas previously isn't any longer a like for like comparison with the new more aggressive variant.

And I say this as someone who was shielding before, now advised to again yet child expected to attend school and you know what I wanted some time with another adult for just a couple of hours because it's incredibly isolated as a lone parent. But I appreciate that it's about the greater good. (I've got no support bubble as others cannot isolate sufficiently that they have a sufficiently reduced to not be a risk to me on top of the risk my child poses because of school.

It sucks. But better to think I may have a different 2021 with all of my family than not...

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