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Original poster

So angry about Christmas

83 replies

Mousehole10 · 22/12/2020 09:52

I was very up set at the weekend and now seem to have reached the anger stage. We are in tier 4, Christmas completely cancelled and not even allowed to meet in groups outside. Its been w hard year and I was holding onto the hope of seeing some family for our dds first Christmas. It’s so, so unfair that the rest of the country is allowed to mix with family for one day and we are not. Cases are riding in most places, lockdown imminent. Why haven’t they either locked the entire country down now, or allowed everyone one day at Christmas? When things were bad in the north, with rates higher than I am now, they were only tier 3 and would have been allowed Christmas Day. Now things are bad here and everything is banned. It’s not fair. Sorry just want to moan about it.

OP posts:

WinterGarden633 · 22/12/2020 10:23

Northerner here. Thing is, our plans are affected too.

Had to cancel our christmas because a five and a half hour round trip isn’t doable for my elderly parents on Christmas Day. OH is working, I’ll be on my own (37wks pregnant as well).

Playing Devil’s Advocate, it feels like the rest of the country is being punished for the South East’s Covid rate.

There are no winners here. I’m sorry you’re angry and upset, OP. I hope you manage to have a good day anyway.

DiabeticFirstBaby · 22/12/2020 10:25

It's one year, people are dying and seriously ill in ICU ( I have friends who are ICU nurses so know what's really going on) The 2nd wave was worse hospital numbers wise than the 1st and now we have this new strain. The hospitals will become overrun.
Most people dont celebrate xmas and the meaning behind it etc. they sit round eating and drinking too much for a couple of days and are moaning because they have told people not to mix to stop people spreading this and then people getting sick. Hopefully by this time next year we will be in a better position but you dont know.

SmileyClare · 22/12/2020 10:30

It's shit isn't it? Do you have a partner or other adult in your household?

We've all got to be sensible and accept the reasons for restrictions but sometimes I feel like kicking the Christmas tree, lying on the floor, banging my fists, crying for five minutes and shouting Its not fair. It would feel great actually!

It's ok to have a little moan. I hope you can make the most of your Christmas

JustLikeStitch · 22/12/2020 10:31

Perhaps have a chat with your doctor? They can help if you’re feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope, especially if you’re unable to see reality. Christmas isn’t cancelled, you’re able to celebrate in your own home. Perhaps it’s not the big family event you’re used to but we’ve all had to make sacrifices this year.

Calmandmeasured1 · 22/12/2020 10:32

It’s so, so unfair that the rest of the country is allowed to mix with family for one day and we are not.
Oh, give over. The Govt only heard back last Friday afternoon about the new variant of the virus. Figures were going down in parts of the north due to them being in tier 3 for so long while those now in tier 4 had rates that were just as high but weren't put into the higher tier.
Unfair? It was unfair you weren't in tier 3 when you should have been. The north/south divide is alive and well.

You sound like a child. Christmas hasn't been completely cancelled. It happens on the same date each year and will this year. You can still have a tree, decorate your home, exchange presents, celebrate with a special dinner. You just can't share the day this year with other households. Why would you want to risk having the virus asymptomatically and spreading it to others? Your child won't be aware of Christmas at such a young age either.

Oh and jealousy, selfishness and moaning are very unattractive traits.

amusedtodeath1 · 22/12/2020 10:34

It's Shit OP, I fully understand why you feel upset about this. All you can do is make the most of what you do have.

PotteringAlong · 22/12/2020 10:34

It wasn’t unfair whilst you were living your tier 2 dream and we’ve been under local restrictions for a massive amount of time was it, was it?

What you mean is that it’s unfair you have to do it, and you were quite happy whilst it was just “the north”

Looneytune253 · 22/12/2020 10:38

That is so unfair. I'm in the north east where we were in tier 3 after lockdown and had local restrictions before lockdown so we have had a lot of tome where we've not been able to do much. The south east remained open as such and you've been able to do things that were banned up here. Would you have agreed you should have followed tier 3 rules for the previous month just cos we had to? Our numbers are now really low but we're still stuck in tier 3. So we still have lots of restrictions but we can see someone we would like to on Xmas day. We deserve that!

Runmybathforme · 22/12/2020 10:38

I know, it’s horrible, but don’t waste your energy with all this negativity. Hospitals are are at breaking point ( in our area ), and care in the community is in crisis. Ruined Christmas plans aren’t actually important at all.

QueenPaws · 22/12/2020 10:44

It's shit for everyone. Tier 3 here but shielding so can't mix 🤷🏽‍♀️

SmileyClare · 22/12/2020 10:45

I think Op is a single mum with a baby and can't meet with her bubbled support on Christmas day. That is pretty tough.

Of course it is what is, we have to comply but I think it's understandable to have a wobble and vent on here, you know a little childish tantrum before going back to being a sensible adult again.

x2boys · 22/12/2020 10:50

I'm in Bolton we had extra restrictions on top.of tier three restrictions when our rates were soaring it's crap but it's a virus .

Sirzy · 22/12/2020 10:52

It’s tough but it’s one year and for now we just all need to do our bit.

We are in the north, we won’t be seeing anyone. I have a child who is finally due to have an urgent test he was listed for last March in the new year, I’m dreading things getting worse in the hospitals because I know it will need to be cancelled again then.

Enjoy a lovely quiet close family Christmas together

Heyahun · 22/12/2020 10:53

Is the moaning and feeling hard done by making you feel better? Will it fix your Christmas??

Original poster

Mousehole10 · 22/12/2020 10:54

Thanks everyone for your comments. I do know that we need the restrictions, was just really hoping they would give us that one day before we all locked down. As it is now we don’t even have that and are facing full lockdown in January. I know other places have had a harder year with restrictions. But the fact is even in tier 2 we weren’t allowed to see family (all far away and we couldn’t mix inside), so we’ve also had a long time without seeing our family. I do have a DH so am not completely alone, so I’m thankful for that. But doesn’t change that I’m still very upset and angry at the situation in general, and all my family are missing out on their first grandchild and we are missing out on any help for the foreseeable.

OP posts:

AliceinBunniland · 22/12/2020 10:55

I'm not sure how locking down the whole country would help. It makes sense to me to have the most affected areas more restricted as that can change over weeks and months so there is the possibility of different areas going in and out of restrictions rather than the whole country being locked down for months / a year

Christmas will be different for most people this year but I know people who have recently lost loved ones (not just to covid) so we have to try to be grateful for what we have

I hope you have a nice Christmas even if nothing as planned

Tyranttoddler · 22/12/2020 10:55

I totally hear you op but fortunately you can bubble with your support bubble at other times so hopefully you won't to completely mad. Let's not do that north south thing either. I would swap christmas day for having had the months of being able to see other people that you have had. Grass always looks greener doesn't it, except that really it's shite for everyone right now.

Original poster

Mousehole10 · 22/12/2020 10:55

@Heyahun

Is the moaning and feeling hard done by making you feel better? Will it fix your Christmas??

No it won’t fix Christmas but it does actually make me feel a bit better to have a moan about it and here other people’s perspectives

OP posts:

Tyranttoddler · 22/12/2020 10:59

I'm trying to do festive things so yesterday we watched a chrisymas film with a baileys and today going to go for a walk as its a bit crisp here, with hot chocolate in a flask. It is what it is, but there is hope on its way, this isn't forever.

SmileyClare · 22/12/2020 11:03

Ah glad you feel a bit better for having a vent on here. That's what mumsnet's for isn't it?

It's best to be pragmatic about this. I see you have a husband, not sure why I assumed you were a single mum! Make the most of it, your one year-old won't know any different and they'll be plenty more Christmases to come.

elenacampana · 22/12/2020 11:03

A friend’s mother passed away from Covid last week. She won’t be able to spend Christmas with her mum this year and Christmas will likely now become a difficult time of year for her every year because it will remind her of her mum’s death. She doesn’t have the hope of December 2021 either.

My own MIL has been largely locked in the house since March because she is very vulnerable as she has pre-existing health conditions.

As for me, well I had a miscarriage last December and was at an appointment for infertility yesterday.

This is not the festive season most people want OP. I’m afraid I fond your chucking your teddy out of the cot and wishing everyone a T4 Christmas both disappointing and selfish.

Go and enjoy your baby. I’d rather have your T4 Christmas than the T2 one I’m so lucky to have (according to you because 1 day for picking and choosing between your families is so great) if we’d been able to have a baby or at least get pregnant this year.

TammyHullfigure · 22/12/2020 11:05

wow @elenacampana that's quite a waspish response. Tone it down a bit eh?

elenacampana · 22/12/2020 11:08

No.

@TammyHullfigure

SmileyClare · 22/12/2020 11:09

Elena lots of people finding this year tough for different reasons. Having a baby is not all a bed of roses, Op may be feeling lonely, anxious, PND or just desperately unhappy and needing to see her mum.

I'm really sorry you're having a tough time though I get what you're saying, we should all look beyond our own front door and remember other families are struggling.

ifonly4 · 22/12/2020 11:09

I know you're upset, totally understand and it's really not easy, but what you read on mumsnet might not be typical of the whole country in lower tiers. We're in a tier 2 area and people are very careful here (hardly mix indoors, masks in streets). No one we know is mixing households this xmas - this includes work colleagues in four jobs we have, our friends and family. I genuinely only know of two families taking advantage of the bubble with their elderly parent. My Mum doesn't want to come, as she says it's not worth the risk as she doesn't feel any of us could live with the consequences. It's rubbish at the moment, but I agree the rest of us should lockdown ASAP.

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