Should I let my child go to Scotland from Tier 4?

[Sargassoseas]

I live in Tier 4 with DD. She is due to go to Scotland to stay with her dad after Christmas. I know that there is an exemption for children travelling between their parents' homes but with Nicola Sturgeon becoming ever more of a zealot it wouldn't surprise me if that exemption was to be removed. I couldn't bear it if DD got stuck up there. Ex would make things as difficult for me as possible to get her back. We have no court order - primarily because he is a Disney dad and would use it to control me whilst preserving his own right to do whatever he wants.

No absolutely not.

Yes why not he is her father. Unless there is a back story of abuse etc.

I would let her go. I can't see the exemption being removed.

I wouldnt cos of transmission risk rather than worrying she will be stuck there.

Don’t do that.

I think you should just say that you need to review it nearer to the time - even if its only a few days away. Things are changing rapidly at the moment.

No I wouldn't because of the risk of spreading the new strain.

Sturgeon is worried about people coming into Scotland bringing the new strain of the virus with them, not people leaving Scotland, so I think your fears of your daughter getting stuck in Scotland are unfounded. From an ethical perspective, it would be good to limit your household's contacts with others in the run up to your DD going to her Dad's in order to reduce the risk of your DD being one of the people who carries the new strain into Scotland.

Thank you all. @Theforest that's what I was thinking of doing. I had Christmas plans which I cancelled even before the announcement as it didn't seem to be responsible to travel. I know ex wants to see her but apart of me thinks "just because you can, it doesn't mean you should" and I cancelled my plans on that basis.

• a part not apart

Isn't there an exemption for kids seeing non-resident parents?

Children need both their parents. It's allowed and you shouldn't arbitrarily decide to deprive her of contact with her father and your ex of contact with his daughter. Deeply unfair.

There is an exemption in place and unlikely to be removed as its been in place throughout since the beginning and has always been made clear.

We are due to go into tier 4 here on Boxing Day with everything closed so less chance of being Disney Dad!
I think you need to have an honest discussion with him about your concerns.

No.

Outside the covid travel issue it does sound like your kid is being used as bit of an emotional football by both parents though. I’d watch that in the future, it’ll do harm.

This could go on for a while and children need both parents. Its not reasonable to expect that a child won't see one of their parents for potentially weeks.

but a part of me thinks "just because you can, it doesn't mean you should"

I would agree with you if it was going to visit other family members, Aunt, Uncle, Grandma etc, but this is her dad. I really don't think it would be fair to either of them to cancel just because you don't think it should happen.

Nicola Sturgeon far from being a 'Zealot' over this matter is doing her best to protect the people who voted her into power.

Keep your child at home with you. You know it's the right thing to do.

I would agree with you if it was going to visit other family members, Aunt, Uncle, Grandma etc, but this is her dad. I really don't think it would be fair to either of them to cancel just because you don't think it should happen.

So 'seeing her dad for Christmas' trumps every other consideration? GTF.

Yes.

Much as Ioathe Nippy your daughter will not get stuck here in Scotland

It's not totalitarian yet.

@arbiebarb

Children need both their parents. It's allowed and you shouldn't arbitrarily decide to deprive her of contact with her father and your ex of contact with his daughter. Deeply unfair.

Completely agree

So 'seeing her dad for Christmas' trumps every other consideration? GTF.

Not sure what GTF means. I think that if both parents are a part of a child's life, then spending time with them both is important. There are exemptions in place which acknowledge this.

How would she be getting there and back? I assume this would also involve one or both parents driving or getting the train / plane? In which case, I'd probably stay at home.

Children having contact with their separated parents has always been one of the exceptions to the travel restrictions.

@arbiebarb

Children need both their parents. It's allowed and you shouldn't arbitrarily decide to deprive her of contact with her father and your ex of contact with his daughter. Deeply unfair.

100%

Obviously she won’t get stuck in Scotland however I don’t think she should go. Many children don’t see there dads for weeks/months if they work on oil rigs or in the forces for example. They are not traumatised. They can FaceTime daily.