Wellbeing check-in and talk thread: How are you holding up?

[DrWard]

Hi friends,

Times are obviously hard right now. I wanted to create a space where people can talk, or vent their frustrations, or find comfort from others.

How are you holding up?

My thermometer just broke. The fact this sent me into a panic kind of proves I am not coping.

I should add, no one has a fever or any reason for me to monitor their temperature. I need to stop routinely taking my own temperature i know but it's a bad habit I've got into.

Tunnocks - I'm so sorry that sounds really hard.

All the way through I was doing really well. I like being at home and other than the odd day I felt bored, I was mostly ok. But Saturday did something to me. I'm in a Tier 4 area (London), luckily my Christmas plans remain the same (me and adult DC who live at home), but it does feel like we've taken one step forward and two back.

I don't have a medical/scientific background, so my fears may be totally unfounded, but I worry that Covid will adapt to render the vaccines useless. Kind of like how now, so many things are now resistant to antibiotics. I feel like it's moving faster than we are. All the borders are now closing to us. The doom and gloom of Brexit. I miss my sister (in Cornwall) who is my only close living relative, other than my DC.

I'll snap out of it I'm sure, but it would be nice to hear some good news!

@Jenny4235

Not great. Both my DDs currently have it, I’m vunerable and trying to keep my distance but it’s near impossible with two young kids, one of which has been crying with stomach pains for the past 2 days I just want to be with her. I’m terrified of waking up with it every day, it’s been in our home for a week now. It’s 6am and I woke at 4am and been sick with worry and given myself a massive headache. I feel like I’ve woke up in a nightmare.

Hi @jenny4235,

I'm so sorry, that sounds like a really tough situation. It must be so hard to keep a distance and also so difficult to see your children upset and poorly and not just be able to cuddle them like you usually would. Do you live alone with your children or do you have some support? I really hope that things get easier for you soon, and that you manage to avoid the virus. Sounds like you're in knots with worry - I'm glad you reached out.

Is it possible to do something to help you relax a little? I know that's a very cliché answer and I'm not suggesting that relaxing by having a bath or burning a candle or engaging with a hobby or whatever is going to fix everything (though I wish it could), but it might help your mind and body to settle down a little and E slightly less stressed. Good luck ❤️

@Happyfuture

I thought I was holding up great, until a coworker came to work with symptoms, and had to be sent home, now I'm panicking whilst awaiting to hear if they are positive/negative for covid. Really thought I'd managed to stay as safe as possible this year, but gutted at the thought I may not be able to see my parents on Xmas day because of this. Hoping to god they come back negative and its just a seasonal flu

Hi @happyfuture

That sounds so difficult, it's so frustrating when you've been so careful all year. It also must be hard to be still unsure whether you'll see your parents. I'm sure a lot of the country can empathise with how difficult it is for you to have to consider the possibility of not seeing them. I really hope that your coworker's test is negative and that you'll be able to do Christmas as planned. Good luck 🤞 do you know when your colleague is due their test result?

@Coronacare

This is such a lovely idea for a thread. I had a pcr test yesterday as wanted to go visit my parents in another part of the Uk as my dad is terminally ill and my mum, also vulnerable, needs a break for mental health reasons. My mum tested positive yesterday and my dads not feeling well so was tested yesterday. Feeling so sad and anxious. My sister is with them thankfully but its so horrible being far away

Hi @coronacare

Thank you, I know at work (I work in a hospital) it's been so helpful to keep talking to people about how we're doing, and I figured MN could do with a similar thing.

That's so rough, I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. Glad they both have support from your sister but I can understand how it must make you feel pretty helpless 😔 living far away from loved ones who are unwell is hard enough in a normal situation, let alone in a pandemic. I really hope that those who test positive manage to avoid becoming too unwell, and I hope you are able to see everyone soon, when you're all better. Best wishes ❤️

Glad to see so many people using this thread as a place to vent ❤️ we all need it right now!

For those asking how I'm doing - thank you, I'm doing OK-ish. I have an anxiety disorder, and OCD, and I work in a hospital - so things are pretty stressful right now. I've got to be very careful over Christmas which is the right thing to do but still very frustrating. I miss my extended family. I'm also struggling to sleep, hence why this thread was started at stupid-o-clock (and then thankfully I did get a bit of sleep so I didn't reply for hours). But in the grand scheme of things I'm doing OK and I'm reminding myself regularly that it's ok to feel rubbish right now! Thank you for asking ❤️

I’m so very very scared now. I was clinging on to the prospect of the vaccines but it all just feels so precarious and uncertain. I feel like I’m at the top of a cliff and about to fall off it. I don’t know how much more I can take. I need to get off Twitter/mumsnet/news pages but it’s like watching a car crash, I can’t seem to stop myself from looking. I feel in a very dark place today and I’m really scared.

I feel like I am not entitled to feel bad, I am in a better position than many: am in rural Ireland with low cases here, child is in school, no-one I know has been seriously ill, we are not short of money, my business is fine and all online...and yet I am starting to do worse and worse in terms of free-floating anxiety, drinking too much and not looking after myself...

I keep making resolutions to look after myself better, do more excercise etc etc, but they are not really working yet. I am now alone at home most of the day (used to work with groups of people before March and I miss that).

@Browneyedgirl20

I’m doing ok - thanks for asking! Am dealing with a lot of wider family stuff at the moment which isn’t made any easier by lockdown. Otherwise we are well and safe and that feels like enough. Getting a bit addicted to my phone though, need to put it down and stop reading news/social media for a while.

How are you OP?

Hi @browneyedgirl20,

Glad you are relatively OK, though I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with wider issues. It's so hard to deal with family stuff at the best of times, let alone when there's a lockdown / near lockdown.

Finding the right balance with social media / news / phone use can be hard at the best of times, let alone when your phone is the only way to connect with your loved ones. I hope you are able to take a break when needed, it can work wonders can't it! Best wishes to you.

And I'm OK, thanks for asking. I explained in my previous comment how things are for me right now but in general I am fairly well so I'm grateful for that 😊

@Chocolatecake29

Massive to those who need it.

I'm up and down. I've been managing okay but the weekend was difficult. All of a sudden, I know 3 people who've had it (confirmed) after not knowing anyone personally, and we had to isolate due to a case in my son's class (didn't have it thankfully). The sudden Welsh lockdown was a shock. I was really down yesterday, crying, restless, barely ate, spent afternoon in bed. Feeling a bit stronger today but it's starting to take it toll mentally.
We know need to get a few extra things in because of the lorries being held at the ports - my son has ASD so has a restricted diet, need to make sure we've got a few extra items in of the stuff he eats.

Hi @chocolatecake29

Sorry to hear that yesterday was so tough for you, its so difficult feeling that restless. I'm glad you're feeling a little bit better today. I think the weekend has left a lot of people feeling quite panicked, understandably. It's natural to feel stressed and be quite up-and-down in the midst of it all.

I've seen that the supermarkets have assured people that they are well-stocked for the festive season, as have food production companies, so hopefully there won't be too many problems. I hope that helps reduce your worry a little, though with a restricted diet for your Son I can understand the stress! Best wishes x

@Twizbe

I'm getting better. I've stopped crying at any mention of my parents and Christmas so that's a plus.

I'm just so annoyed with my FIL (who I live with) he has well controlled asthma and is over 70. He's making a huge fuss about me going to a supermarket tomorrow at 9pm to get some essentials. Our Christmas plans have changed so I now need to get nappies and milk for my kids as my mum had got all that ready for us. My period has also rocked up early so need to get some bits for that. So proper essentials. He's making a huge fuss but he went to church yesterday!!! He is planning to go on Xmas day as well!!! How the hell is that less of a risk than me going to the supermarket at a quiet time to get 3 items??? Someone please tell me.

Hi @Twizbe,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time re: Christmas and presumably not seeing your parents, I'm sure so many people can empathise with how difficult that is for you.

That sounds really stressful re: your FIL, there doesn't seem to be much logic applied to the worry! Is it possible to get a click and collect slot, maybe that would worry him less and place you at less risk? If not (I'm sure they're very booked up) then to be honest it sounds like he's going to need to adjust his opinion of what's too risky and what is less risky/do-able. I hope you're able to get the essentials you need 😊 Best wishes.

@BartlebyTheScrivener

I’m not great. Self isolating due to very close contact at work (teacher). I have terrible health anxiety at the best of times. Also very sad because I’m trying my hardest to not infect the rest of the house (if I do have it) not hugging and kissing my children especially at Christmas is heartbreaking. Petrified the whole time of coming down with it. Love to anyone else in a similar situation

Hi @BartlebyTheScrivener,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time and having to self isolate and that your health anxiety is on top of that - I know health anxiety can be very crushing! I really hope that you don't become unwell with it. That sounds so difficult having to stay away from your Kids, I can't imagine how hard that is. A previous poster said they're in a similar situation having to stay away as the kids have tested positive and the poster was vulnerable. Sending best wishes and hoping you don't develop any symptoms 🤞

@CrunchyNutNC

I'm a bit up and down generally, but this morning's news about France closing the border has made me pretty low to be honest. For so long it's just been neverending but now it looks like whilst things aren't necessarily any more dangerous, they're getting significantly more shit.

Hi @crunchynutnc,

I can definitely relate to the feeling that, although things have been shit enough for a while, they're getting even more shitty. None of us need this right now! I hope that you feel a little less overwhelmed soon. Best wishes.

@DeeDimer I feel for you... tough times and clearly some people r thankless. But trust me the country applauds the nhs front line workers. This too shall pass...

Thanks for this thread OP. I am waiting for my test result. Day 3 when the fever is gone but a new cough n cold have started. Feeling an emotional wreck isolating in my room with my little one and just chw lung social media on day to day symptoms etc.

Comiserations to @BartlebyTheScrivener , I also suffer from sometimes crippling health anxiety and it has not been good lately.

@letsnotscaretheneighbours

Tbh feeling really down. I miss my friends and family. I see my in laws, and they are amazing but I want to hug my Dad.

Hi @letsnotscaretheneighbours

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It's so hard not seeing family and friends. Even though you do have your IL's, there's nothing like a hug from your parents if you're close with them ❤️ your feelings are completely valid. I hope for all of our sakes things get easier soon. Best wishes.

@Isitrainingihadntnoticed

Really really down today. Made a mistake of reading the daily fucking mail.

Hi @Isitrainingihadntnoticed

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. The Daily Mail is a nightmare! I hope you feel better soon. Best wishes.

@weepingwillow22

It is the shortest day today. I am hoping we are at the lowest point and everything can only improve from now. The nights at least will be getting shorter from today.

Hi @weepingwillow22, I really hope so too. Fingers crossed!

I'm doing not too bas but think that is due to my meds (I take prozac and another for depression from before all this)

feeling a but floaty and separate from it all, bit concerned about getting email from school about covid but not as anxious as I was.

too bad that was meant to say

@Lottapianos

Thanks for this thread. I'm sick and tired of being told to stay positive, and this will all pass, and other people have it much worse etc. Yes, all of that is true, but everyone is allowed to feel shit. It's a shit situation

Personally, I'm in a much better position than most - have already had Covid, have a nice spacious home with a DP that I love, have job I can do from home, and actually v relieved about not being expected to visit anyone at Christmas! But I'm also sick to death of this incompetent government, of the endless chopping and changing, and I have literally no idea what job I will be doing in Jan as we're being redeployed (NHS). I feel so sad for the poor gyms and salons and bars who have spent time and money trying to keep people safe, and have been shut down yet again. So my moods are up and down like Tower Bridge to be honest!

Hi @Lottapianos

I can relate to this completely. Toxic positivity is a nightmare at the best of times, let alone at the worst of times like right now. I'm tired of seeing comparisons and people saying "It could be worse, you could be in this/that/their/my situation". We're all entitled to feel absolutely rubbish right now, and it's natural to feel very up and down.

I understand the stress of being redeployed and wondering where you'll have to go. It's something I experienced earlier in the year. I hope that if that happens then you end up in a role where you feel comfortable. Best wishes.

I would try and avoid the Daily mail. Also the BBC at times..

I don’t know how long I can go on like this tbh. I feel really down today, to the point Of getting in bed and just not getting out. I just feel empty...I have a young child. I know I need to be strong but it’s just so so hard.