Forgotten groups, young people.

[ByersRd]

Young people who live away from home, those who are no longer students but have started work.
I have DC's in that group. They are early in their careers, working for the NHS, working in education or hospitality. Can't afford their own houses, live in shared houses, in one room. In some cases very little relationship with anyone in their shared house, yet they can't come home for Christmas.

No support to come home like students have had - and yet their shared house is only a temporary measure to support them to get on the career ladder. 'Home' is still their home town.

No facilities to cook a Christmas meal or share it with anyone.
These young people are struggling. Not seen mine since March.

I agree! I’m 23. I hate working from home and find it isolating, I think it’s mainly older generations that are already settled in life that have the luxury of enjoying it frankly.

Frankly trying to make this a generational thing is pointless.

There are many younger people managing well and many older people barely managing at all.

Nobody has been forgotten, that's just media bollocks. If you have isolated family or friends do what you can for them. But don't blame someone else's situation.for it!

Mine would just have take away kebabs if they really couldn't get home for 25th. Don't think this is about food, though. It's about need for social contact esp. those with lonely or stressful jobs.

Not making it generational at all, just think this group are having a hard time, post university - but not quite on with their lives fully.

It doesn't change that other people in other groups are also having it tough.

I have sympathy for this group of young people, in a shared house, no way of cooking anything substantial, miles from home with plans to be at home stopped.

@CuriousaboutSamphire I work in finance and all of my colleagues are older than me and loving life working from home, hence my thoughts! They’re really pushing for this to be a permanent change whereas I was considering voluntary redundancy at one point!

Yes I agree, fortunately DS(27) now rents his own flat but this was only recently he has been able to afford it, before then he was in shared flats, not dissimilar to what students have so no chance to be any support bubble. He also struggled with wfh while sharing until he rented his own small flat in October, he also has exams to revise for but because he is just stuck in a flat with no enjoyment he says he has lost motivation to do his revision.

If I compare my parents to my young adults. DM can cook a Christmas dinner, they have put up Christmas decs, they have neighbours, we will see them outside on Christmas Day, they have local support.

My DS's, one mid apprenticeship age 18 - proud of him with his own (run down) house - but in an awful area, no friends nearby, no cooking equipment (certainly not a roast tin!) and would likely poison himself cooking poultry😉...he lives where he does to complete his apprenticeship but calls his home town 'home' and now can't come 'home'.

The other 22, post uni, first job, still living in his student type flat. All his flat mates have already travelled home after testing, he's on shift till Tuesday when he planned to come home for Christmas. Now he's totally alone...and can't come home...(tho at least he is a good cook).

I feel more sad for them than I do for my parents. This is our family situation and I know not everyone's situation. I have many friends in very similar situations though.

Op, there are people of every age facing a difficult Xmas alone, old people, single parents, young professionals, care leavers, the newly widowed.

All we can do is try to support our neighbours. And to be honest any young adult is capable of buying a £2 roasting tin from Sainsbury, and looking up a recipe on line. Or buying a pre-prepared dinner. Credit your sons with some resourcefulness.

mint - I did recognise others.

Not going to happen is it...18 year old cooking a roast for himself, alone in an awful house.

It is ok to care...and I do.

I'm 25 and I'm honestly fine. I miss my mum, but I'm WFH, can cook my own Xmas dinner (where are these flat shares without ovens) and am a sufficient grown up.

Also not having to deal with children is making this much easier than for many.

Your kid would poison himself trying to cook poultry? Get him a cook book

Why would people be living somewhere with no cooking facilities? (Obviously I recognise some people will be but the vast majority have access to a kitchen) it might not be mummy cooking Christmas dinner on an aga but i’m sure your kids will manage. You’re doing them a disservice. I wonder if you’d be as concerned if you had daughters or would they be expected to be able to look after yourself?

I'm in this age bracket, live in a shared house, my housemates are nice but we're not close, I don't live with my partner and won't be going home. To be honest I don't think I have much to complain about. Of course I'd love a cosy family Christmas, but it's just one day. For those of us who haven't been bereaved and haven't lost their jobs, there's a lot to take comfort in. To be honest, at the risk of sounding totally insufferable, having PMA is going to make for a much nicer Xmas all round. If you don't need to wallow then don't, for your own benefit. If we (i.e. those of us who are relatively unscathed at this point) can push through this boring, worrying time, we'll enjoy the good times to come even more.

It's not nice to be in grotty acomm. or without a kitchen though, I agree. Hope you get to see your kids soon in the NY, OP.

Why wouldn't he cook? He's a grownup!

Maybe not a roast but I'm sure he can turn out a good chilli or a curry. And if not, it will be good for him to learn, a Xmas challenge to stop him feeling bored. He may end up feeling proud of himself. Don't worry, He'll be fine.

I give up. Horrible on here.

I care. I'm sad.

I'm tired, in fact I'm more exhausted than I've ever been, supporting schools, huge amount of hours, no holiday since March, working weekends, including till Christmas Eve, to keep them open and everyone as safe as possible.

Obviously no support on here for young people with shattered plans.

@ByersRd

I give up. Horrible on here.

I care. I'm sad.

I'm tired, in fact I'm more exhausted than I've ever been, supporting schools, huge amount of hours, no holiday since March, working weekends, including till Christmas Eve, to keep them open and everyone as safe as possible.

Obviously no support on here for young people with shattered plans.

It's just a bit patronising tbh. We're fine for the most part, we're not 10.

Everyone has shattered plans. Everyone. You treating them like special snowflakes who are the only ones suffering is probably why they're grown adults who can't (in your opinion) look after themselves.

You can be sad. Most of us are sad. We aren't whining that we have been forgotten about and are the most hard done by however. I haven't stepped foot in the country I was born in this year, don't see me with my tiny violin out.

OP, sorry you're feeling so down. Isn't the fact that most of us are actually feeling pretty buoyant about it a good sign? It's not inevitable that he has to feel bad about it. Wouldn't it be good if he had an ok Christmas instead of feeling miserable?

No, not special snowflakes.

Young people like them have fallen through the gaps. They live like students, they don't qualify for testing. They would usually 'go home' - they can't.

@ByersRd I completely understand what your saying. for you. I hope your children can sort something out. I have a 20 yr old dd doing a apprenticeship but luckily she is still living at home. We are currently in tier 3 it was announced last week that secondary schools won't be going back until a week later. I feel sad for my 14yr old ds as he is in yr 10 so starting gcse work and has fallen very behind from the last lockdown we also had to isolate as his little brother had covid. He has given up on all hope of his GCSEs there isn't much support from school. My heart breaks for everyone in these horrible situations. It effects everyone differently and you are completely justified to feel sad about your dcs situations. Hope you can all be together soon.
Also my 20yr old dd can't cut a melon never mind cook a Christmas dinner.

OP I have dc in that age group, and absolutely agree, it’s horrible for them. Really awful. It’s got nothing to do with cooking

Mn is a revolting place right now. Have some hugs from me OP, I’m in the same boat.

I sorry you are feeling bad OP. If I remember from that age rightly, we’d all tell our parents we desperately missed the family Christmas whilst quietly having the time of lives. Make the best of it, your misery will make them feel bad. If they are truly lonely and desperate than it’s within the rules to have them back.

If your child was a daughter OP the responses would be totally different. For some reason most people on this site have a hatred for young people and especially young men and cannot see past their own privilege to understand why others are more badly affected. It is complete nonsense that those living with their spouse with a child under 1 are able to form a support bubble but people 'living' with strangers who they don't actually talk to cannot.

I feel for anyone who is facing Christmas alone. I hope many younger people in shared houses can bubble with others and get in a takeaway if they don't have a suitable kitchen.