Forgotten groups, young people.

[ByersRd]

Young people who live away from home, those who are no longer students but have started work.
I have DC's in that group. They are early in their careers, working for the NHS, working in education or hospitality. Can't afford their own houses, live in shared houses, in one room. In some cases very little relationship with anyone in their shared house, yet they can't come home for Christmas.

No support to come home like students have had - and yet their shared house is only a temporary measure to support them to get on the career ladder. 'Home' is still their home town.

No facilities to cook a Christmas meal or share it with anyone.
These young people are struggling. Not seen mine since March.

ByersRd

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to care and be sad.

OP, I get that you are sad and worried for him but I'm feeling optimistic that next year he'll be home with you eating a home cooked Christmas dinner. But this year, it will be different. Can he get an Iceland Christmas dinner to microwave and then you can set up your laptop at the dining table so he can Zoom in and eat with you. Send him his cracker in the post.

It's the best we can do this year and we have to bolster them and make the best of it.

@CorianderQueen

I'm 25 and I'm honestly fine. I miss my mum, but I'm WFH, can cook my own Xmas dinner (where are these flat shares without ovens) and am a sufficient grown up.

Also not having to deal with children is making this much easier than for many.

Quite. I am frankly amazed at those who think that adults in their 20's aren't grown up, and will therefore struggle more than anyone older than them!

OP, this is tough for everyone. A christmas tree, an oven and a few decorations (and in my days of shared flats we had all of those, so what makes todays young adults unable to access such things?) do not compensate for isolation. Yes, this is a shit time to be anybody, and it's hard to cope for everyone. But 20 somethings will just have to get through it and cope like all the rest of us. That's the crappy thing about being a grown up - you will never be grown up enough to deal with everything that life throws at you, so you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and make do.

@moondust001
It's nothing to do with age. Many of those in shared accommodation are in the unique position of having little to no contact within their own household whilst also not being allowed to form a support bubble with someone that they actually speak to.

It's a complete joke that single parents are allowed contact with several different households (their child's other parent, a support bubble and a childcare bubble) whilst those living in shared accommodation in which they do not talk to and had no choice in their housemates are expected to have no contact with anyone outside their own house.

Thanks to those that understand, it's rubbish.

The assumption on here that these are privileged boys, who are unresourceful is so far from the truth, so stereotypical.

They can look after themselves, as a single parent with full time work in education, our home-life has always meant they have had to cook, clean and iron.
The younger can strip an engine and do a full rebuild...but cooking and sharing Christmas lunch is still not going to happen. KFC more likely.

This wasn't really about 'us' - this was a reflection on the hard time some of these young people have. High house prices, low paid jobs mean they don't even have a proper home. It all feels temporary.
They don't have uni support, but can't come home for support either.

I think it's really tough for them as they try to develop a career.

I just find it odd that posters are determined to feel sorry for 'the young people' when several of us have popped up and said that we're absolutely fine no need for the drama. If my parents were insisting on feeling sorry for me, that would put a downer on things for sure.

I'm worried sick about dd who volunteered to work Christmas to let colleagues who have children have time off and now won't get home for New Year. This is the third trip home that's been cancelled - she's been home once since March.

I think she will now quit her job; the NHS will lose a great nurse, but she's only a kid (just 22 and her first job, now regularly nurse in charge of 28 patients on a trauma/CCU ward, working extra shifts in ICU) and her mental health is shot. She is already on anti-depressants, as are are most of her colleagues it seems. I think a lot of front line nurses will have PTSD after this.

She is working nights over Christmas, and was going to spend the days with a colleague, but presumably she now can't go to anyone's house so will be alone

Sorry, irrelevant to the thread, so I'm just venting.

@ByersRd

Young people who live away from home, those who are no longer students but have started work. I have DC's in that group. They are early in their careers, working for the NHS, working in education or hospitality. Can't afford their own houses, live in shared houses, in one room. In some cases very little relationship with anyone in their shared house, yet they can't come home for Christmas.

No support to come home like students have had - and yet their shared house is only a temporary measure to support them to get on the career ladder. 'Home' is still their home town.

No facilities to cook a Christmas meal or share it with anyone.
These young people are struggling. Not seen mine since March.

A lot of them are struggling financially too, due to workplaces opening and closing and so on. A lot of people who work in eg hospitality pick up a lot if overtime at this time of year and this isn't taken into account with furlough.

I get it OP. I'm also in my 20s and away from home, my plan was to stay put for Christmas but after announcing to my already whiny housemate that I'll be moving in the new year, she's been so unbearably annoying that I just can't stand it. Not one day longer, I've seen her all day every day since March. I don't want to spend Christmas with her, listening to all the whining. Joining others where I live isn't an option either, we have strict measures.

Luckily I'm able to fly home later today (not to/from UK) and I know my mum will just cry all evening with happiness if I let her. Rates where I am aren't very high, I had to get tested anyway and my mum only had Covid last month so it's as safe as it can be.

It's not about eating a Christmas roast, it's about getting out of the loneliness and extremely stressful situations some young people have found themselves in.

OP is he too far to come over for the day (assuming not Tier 4 of course)

I mean I agree with your basic premise OP - that 18-mid 20 year olds have been forgotten a bit and do need more support than older adults who might be more established AND single people will struggle more with loneliness than those in (happy) relationships or closer to their family.

But suggesting that nobody in shared housing would have either the ability or facilities to cook a christmas dinner was where it got a bit - even the grottiest shared house I've lived in had a working over, and you can buy a roasting tin for a quid!

Also, doesn't a single person, whether living alone or in a shared house still count as entitled to a support bubble? I'm sure that was the case in the last lockdown, and therefore many individuals living alone could travel to be with their family, on any day not just the 25th, regardless of what tier they are in. Whether they strictly should is another matter but I'm sure they legally can?

I've seen pretty much every type of group or category described as "forgotten" so don't think this is a fair description. But I do think that this group has unique challenges and impacts of the pandemic. Impacts that will probably follow them through the rest of their lives, in one form or another. I feel for them all.

@ByersRd

No, not special snowflakes.

Young people like them have fallen through the gaps. They live like students, they don't qualify for testing. They would usually 'go home' - they can't.

What would you suggest as an alternative?

How could we do something better, whilst also keeping the number of cases down?

What would your magic solution be?

and would likely poison himself cooking poultry

Don't blame the state for your 18 year old not being able to cook chicken. DH teaches 10 - 14 year olds how to cook chicken on an open fire safely.

Why didn't you give him simple life skills - like how to buy a microwavable roast meal for 1 from the supermarket?

As a matter of interest how does he normally manage to feed himself?

but cooking and sharing Christmas lunch is still not going to happen. KFC more likely.

1. And whats wrong with that?
2. Is there a particular reason why not having a christmas dinner itself is a disaster?
3. Have you asked him if he would prefer KFC or a roast dinner?

My DC are early 20s and I absolutely agree with you.
DC2 started a graduate job in another city in the first lockdown. He moved but ended up WFH so effectively living and working in his bedroom. He has never had chance to meet people or make friends as you normally would on starting a new job.
He said to me the other day that he hasn't had any kind of face to face social life since March.

@redtoothbrush
The alternative would be to classify those living in shared accommodation on separate tenancies as living alone and therefore allow them to form a support bubble. To minimise the increase in contact caused by this move we could restrict eligibility to childcare bubbles to those who are not eligible to have a support bubble and ask those whose children regularly travel between both parents homes to consider if it is really necessary to have a support or childcare (depending on whether the parents are living with a new partner) bubble on top of this.

[quote StatisticalSense]@redtoothbrush
The alternative would be to classify those living in shared accommodation on separate tenancies as living alone and therefore allow them to form a support bubble. To minimise the increase in contact caused by this move we could restrict eligibility to childcare bubbles to those who are not eligible to have a support bubble and ask those whose children regularly travel between both parents homes to consider if it is really necessary to have a support or childcare (depending on whether the parents are living with a new partner) bubble on top of this.[/quote]
The government in the last hour has published the nervtag data.

It says that the new variant could increase the R by 0.4 - 0.9.

If thats right, your suggestion just isn't viable unfortunately. Especially if the effect is to increase movement of people across the country which it likely would.

Not even going to bother answering your nonsense redbrush.

No, too far to come for the day and one in Scotland.

@ByersRd

Not even going to bother answering your nonsense redbrush.

No, too far to come for the day and one in Scotland.

Code for: I don't like someone pointing out that in the scheme of things worrying about a kfc isn't really a priority.

Not at all red a reply that says 'I was more interested in ALL young people rather than just my own'.

Don't listen to the negative comments op.
I am in my 20s in a similar position, I feel isolated and lonely as I live with people who I have nothing in common with.

I agree with others in that I don't feel forgotten about.
I have stuck to every single rule this whole pandemic. Last night I drove home to my parents who live in Wales. Under Welsh law, I would be allowed to bubble. It isn't under English I don't think. But I am putting my mental health first as I was really in such a low place.
I'm sorry you arent able to see your children and truly hope you are able to be with them soon.
It is rubbish, you are allowed to be upset.

@TurquoiseBaubles

I'm worried sick about dd who volunteered to work Christmas to let colleagues who have children have time off and now won't get home for New Year. This is the third trip home that's been cancelled - she's been home once since March.

I think she will now quit her job; the NHS will lose a great nurse, but she's only a kid (just 22 and her first job, now regularly nurse in charge of 28 patients on a trauma/CCU ward, working extra shifts in ICU) and her mental health is shot. She is already on anti-depressants, as are are most of her colleagues it seems. I think a lot of front line nurses will have PTSD after this.

She is working nights over Christmas, and was going to spend the days with a colleague, but presumably she now can't go to anyone's house so will be alone

Sorry, irrelevant to the thread, so I'm just venting.

Is your DD in tier 3? She could form a support bubble if tier 3.

@Hapixmas, thank you for your considered post. Working out what had to be for your mental health was sensible.

Nothing any easier here!