We don't need to cancel Christmas...

[SleepingStandingUp]

Anyone else fee up with the over dramatic "cancel Christmas" rhetoric.

Assuming we continue to allow single people to be in a bubble, even if they put everyone in T3 and cancel the Christmas rules, will anyone actually feel that Christmas isn't worth having??

You can still buy food and presents, you can still spend it with loved ones albeit a smaller group, still sing carols and watch trash telly.

It's just inflammatory language so we all feel compelled to have an emotional response rather than a logical one which says of you can't mix in big groups yesterday, and you can't in a week, you really shouldn't be doing so now

I've done lockdown with a WFH DH, 5 yo and newly 1 yo twins so trust me, I do get the fed up of each others company 🤣

@Hapixmas

Fair enough op. Sorry I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I've just seen a lot of people talking about wanting it to move down to 2 households mixing but that could mean someone is alone. I just think people should be sensible.

I don't know if an any number of single people can join a household but single adult headed households can only be two would work? So all three single adult kids could come back, or single sibling could go to married sibling etc. But its clear whatever happens there needs to be a caveat that means people aren't obliged to be alone

The melodramatic rhetoric around Christmas is insufferable.

Particularly with the vaccine already being rolled out. The light is at the end of the tunnel. THAT will be something to celebrate with loved ones, looking forward more to that day than any Christmas.

@SleepingStandingUp sorry it won't let me quote for some reason.
Yes I get that but in my circumstance, I share a house and it wouldn't be feasible to have people stay. That could be the same to another single person in the same family.

@gannett

The melodramatic rhetoric around Christmas is insufferable.

Particularly with the vaccine already being rolled out. The light is at the end of the tunnel. THAT will be something to celebrate with loved ones, looking forward more to that day than any Christmas.

Except now they are saying only a certain number will get the vaccine next year.

I completely sympathise with people who would be left alone by tighter rules, and with people who have had a particularly difficult year.

But "I'd like a better Christmas because every weekend has been like Christmas" is a strange argument in the general scheme of things.

I dislike the phrase cancelling Christmas - makes me cringe.
However, as we are in Tier 3 and I have 2 secondary school children (one of whom caught Covid and has had 6 self isolations due to masses of cases at school) at schools with up to 10%.of form infected, we can't risk seeing my mother in her 70s. Even if it is technically allowed.

I haven't seen her for months due to the risks with school same with PILs in 80s and my dad, late 70s.

We do plan to go through a side entrance to her garden wearing masks (at her request) outside while she stands in the entrance of her kitchen, just so we can say hello.

It's tough, but it's one day and had we gone over with DC a few weeks ago, then we'd have passed Covid on possibly. This really hammered it home.

But "I'd like a better Christmas because every weekend has been like Christmas" is a strange argument in the general scheme of things

I love the idea that lockdown with a toddler has meant that 'every weekend is like Christmas'

How about 'I wish I could spend some fun time with my family because the isolation and pressure of this year has really damaged my mental health' - is that an acceptable way to feel, or am I supposed to not just not see my family at Christmas but to be actively fucking joyful about it?

I realise that actively liking and enjoying the company of my extended family is terribly gauche and un-Mumsnet of me in the first place, of course, as is thinking that human contact and socialisation is actually quite an important need. I'm the sort of maniac who, in normal times, would answer my door if someone knocked on it even if I weren't expecting them.

If the rules do change, and people aren’t allowed to travel, two of my three adult sons could end up alone in their flats for Christmas. Ds1 lives with his fiancée - they could have a nice Christmas. Ds2 is a teacher - he lives alone. Ds3 is a student - he lives with his girlfriend, but if she went home, as I think she might, either he’s alone there or we break the rules to get him back.

They are adults - they can cook and put up decorations, and we can post their presents to them, but I’d find the thought of them alone over Christmas very depressing - and I’d worry about them.

The changing rules and guidelines are causing me stress too - I like to have a plan for Christmas - if I feel I’m in control of it all, I don’t stress or fret too much (I can be an Olympic standard stresser). This year has already been brain-frying as I made and then changed plans over and over as the rules changed over and again.

Would the boys be here or would some/all of them have to stay away? Am I keeping their presents here or posting them? Are ds1 and his fiancée coming, because she’s pescatarian and that means a whole different plan for the meals. Plan A has lots of nice, fish based meals, including salmon en croute for Christmas dinner - so I have salmon and puff pastry in the freezer. Plan B, if ds1 and his fiancée don’t come, is roast goose, stuffing, roasties and veg - the goose, stuffing, braised red cabbage, apple sauce, stock for gravy and breadcrumbs for bread sauce are also in the freezer. And there are two different supermarket shopping lists, depending on what I’m cooking.

There is every chance Christmas Day will find me either rocking in the corner, eating all the Quality Street or serving up red-cabbage-and-salmon-stuffed goose en croute!!

I was so glad when we got a firm set of rules, so I could make some decisions and act on them - and now it might all change again! Arghhhh!

hardbackwriter, I don't know anything about your personal situation. I was referring more to this post:

"A roast dinner, a walk, playing games with DS, watching a film together.......yep been doing that for the last 9 months. Other than presents, it will basically be the same as most weekends over the last few months.

So yeah, without any extended family present, Christmas is effectively cancelled"

Plenty of people have not been able to afford a roast dinner, or had easy access to somewhere to walk, or been able to see anyone over the last year, so yes, I do think people should feel grateful to have those things.

Again, there may be other difficult circumstances that make this Christmas particularly difficult for this poster, (there certainly are in my family) but Christmas itself is not cancelled.

[quote Hapixmas]@SleepingStandingUp sorry it won't let me quote for some reason.
Yes I get that but in my circumstance, I share a house and it wouldn't be feasible to have people stay. That could be the same to another single person in the same family.[/quote]
I meant you should be entitled to go to other family or friends as you're single, regardless of your house share.

@Hardbackwriter

But "I'd like a better Christmas because every weekend has been like Christmas" is a strange argument in the general scheme of things

I love the idea that lockdown with a toddler has meant that 'every weekend is like Christmas'

How about 'I wish I could spend some fun time with my family because the isolation and pressure of this year has really damaged my mental health' - is that an acceptable way to feel, or am I supposed to not just not see my family at Christmas but to be actively fucking joyful about it?

I'm not saying everyone should act like they aren't sad or this is the best Christmas ever. But the whole "cancel Christmas" isn't helpful. If you're single / head of a single adult household I don't think your bubble should be disassembled. But if you're already with your immediate family, you can still celebrate Christmas even if it's different. Because indeed every weekend is not like Christmas

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius seems they've made a decision not to demand the liberty of turkey and goose alike, but just to change some guidance so hopefully you'll get it clarified soon they can all come home

If there is a huge spike, close the schools for a few weeks in January and add those weeks back on in the summer.

Christmas is NOT worth that

I agree. You can celebrate Christmas even if you were all alone on some deserted island. It is not something that can be taken away from anyone. Governments can attempt to restrict families meeting but even if they did and even if people followed that, Christmas can still be celebrated.

Just to add to my Festive Fretting, ds2 rang this morning, on his way back from getting a COVID test, because he has a high temperature and a headache. If he is positive, he’ll be in isolation until Boxing Day - we’ll have to email his Christmas dinner to him!

No need to cancel Christmas. You just have a different Christmas

I'm sick of listening yo radio call ins/posters on here being all saintly and oh we are not risking granny's life and going to all stay at home and be miserable. We've discussed it as a family and decided its worth the small risk. Fil in his 80s thinks covid or not he's a limited number of Xmas left and he wants his family around him for a few days and memories made so that is what we will do and not be made to feel guilty.

@nicknamehelp

but that is exactly what they have said this afternoon - and all the way through as far as i can see .

Keep your wits about you and do whats right for your family within the guidance - but every family is different and if you can keep mixing to the minimum then all the better .

Anyway peoples plans all may change if a member of a family tests positive before christmas which is going to happen a lot .

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius fingers crossed

Well its all kicked off for me, everyone upset and crying, and now my eldest DS has said Ive taken the sparkle off Christmas so he doesnt want to see me at all. :( Basically, I love with DD and her BF, on Christmas Eve, eldest DS and his GF were coming over on Christmas Day, m household were eating at the pub and then visiting younger DS and his fiance in the evening. Now the complication. DDs BF lost his DM this year and quite rightly wants to see his DF and his DSIS (2 households) they live in a tier 3 area, so he wants to pop and see them on Christmas morning and again for Boxing day, My DD gave him the choice between moving in with his DSIS and seeing his family or staying with us and carrying on as planned. Then we called my Youngest DS and asked if he would be upset if we cancelled coming over on Christmas Day, he was OK about it and said that he feels the same way and because his Fiance works wth vulnerable patients, doesnt want to risk her bringing any infection to them after Christmas. Anyway then I call my eldest DS and he says he cant come over on Christmas Eve as his GF is visiting her nan, Mum and DB on Christmas Day, fair enough. We were then meeting up for a walk on Boxing day instead, but he has just called me to say I have taken the sparkle off of Christmas and my DD has walked out upset as feels everyone is blaming her. I bloody hate this virus.

It's a very personal choice. And personally for me, having 2 dcs in 2 different schools and dh working up until the 18th, we will see dm for half an hour Christmas day. She's in s bubble with dsis so fine for lunch etc. But I am having her over nyd as by nyd dh and dcs will have been out of school/work for 2 weeks. We won't be seeing anyone else except perhaps friend whose dp works from home and her ds is in same class as my ds. And that will be outside anyway on a walk with the dcs.

People will visit relatives over Christmas regardless and break rules, I'm breaking the rules by seeing dm nyd. But that's safer than seeing her (and dsis) Christmas day.

@ILoveYoga

No need to cancel Christmas. You just have a different Christmas

Exactly! I have young children so according to them Xmas is definitely not in anyway cancelled! Santa is coming, they will make /eat a too big Yule log and decorate ginger biscuits for the tree. Santa meet & greet will be by zoom, but different, but zoom is hardly strange these days and they just finished their school year on the thing.

I will miss my Mum terribly, but once she’s had the Vax I’ll be getting her to come stay, safely ASAP.

Xmas isn’t really about me, it’s about my kids, so as long as they are happy and excited I’m just going to have to get on with it (and on the cheese n wine too)

@AllTheUserNamesAreTaken

I completely agree *@OnlyFoolsnMothers*.

A roast dinner, a walk, playing games with DS, watching a film together.......yep been doing that for the last 9 months. Other than presents, it will basically be the same as most weekends over the last few months.

So yeah, without any extended family present, Christmas is effectively cancelled

This is the same for us though. Where I live we can only see our 1 cuddle contact. I've ordered some extra board games and we will just cope with it. I haven't seen a single member of my family for more than a year and have no clue when I will be able to. Xmas is what you make it. I will be glad to be home, safe with my family.