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Original poster

Crying at a funeral with a mask on..

35 replies

MrsBonnie · 14/12/2020 13:59

My mum died in a tragic accident last week, aged 49.

Me and my 3 siblings are now trying to plan the funeral amongst all the other things. Whenever I cry I’m an absolute mess, and I imagine the funeral will be even worse. How can I logistically keep the mask on whilst nose running constantly and presumably crying constantly. Won’t it just get soaked? I will need to blow my nose etc.

Sorry if this is a silly question. But has anyone been through it and found the mask not to be too inhibiting? I’m worried I get angry with the whole situation, rip it off and then get told off. Thanks.

OP posts:

Superstardjs · 14/12/2020 14:03

I think that under those circumstances, you do whatever you need to do. I am very sorry for your loss

Polkadotties · 14/12/2020 14:04

Take it off. My granny died last week and her funeral is in January. There is no way I am going to be able to keep a mask on.
Sorry for your loss

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/12/2020 14:06

You don't have to wear a mask, the rules say face covering so a large hankie might be OK. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum, 49 is far too young.

Jrobhatch29 · 14/12/2020 14:07

Sorry for your loss.
I cried my eyes out at my nannas funeral a few months ago. I tried to keep my mask on but it was so uncomfortable and I was Constantly fiddling with it. if you need to take it off I would just do it.

MermaidDreams83 · 14/12/2020 14:08

So sorry for your loss, my father died in July. Face masks were used but it didn't really prevent us too much, you get used to it. It was a short service as soon as we left we met everyone outside.
The service was different than other funerals I've been to in normal times, but none the less there was laughter and tears.

sausagerole · 14/12/2020 14:09

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious mum. I've no experience but I think you should feel free to remove your mask to wipe your eyes/nose and put it back on after. It may also help you to take a good few spares so you can swap regularly and feel a bit fresher.

DougRossIsTheBoss · 14/12/2020 14:10

My mum died in September
I was a sobbing snotty mess throughout the funeral service but the vicar was insistent on masks
I think they were likely very useless as mine was soaked in minutes and I was constantly having to push it up to stem the flow of snot with tissues.

I can only say take a few spare ones. Accept they will be ruined and useless but rules are rules.
That's what I did.

CausingChaos2 · 14/12/2020 14:11

I’m so sorry. I sadly also had a funeral to attend last week, I removed the mask to blow my nose and wipe my eyes. It was not strictly policed, and I took it off again as soon as the service was finished and we were back outside.

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 14/12/2020 14:29

Would you be allowed visors ? Or take lots of spares . Sorry about your mum 😔

wakemeupwhenitssunny · 14/12/2020 14:41

sorry about your mum, its so tough, my Dad died in the summer and we had masks on at the service but there were a lot of tears and snot, I just kept lifting it to to wipe my eyes and nose, it wasn't ideal but there's no way you are going to stay dry eyed, take care

AppleKatie · 14/12/2020 14:46

Same as everyone else. I raised it to blow nose regularly. It was soaked within minutes.

Take spares.

I’m sorry for your loss

november90 · 14/12/2020 15:03

I'm so sorry to read of so many of you loosing loved ones. There's nothing I can even think to say to make any of it any better but I'm so sorry and hope you have comfort and time to heal ❤️

warmandtoasty2day · 14/12/2020 15:14

sorry to hear ofyour loss but if an elderly woman can take her mask off to speak to another to a complete stranger on the bus and yatter about much of nothing for 20 odd minutes, without being told about it, surely a bit of compassion can be given for you not to wear yours for a while. the taking off and putting it back on is worse than not wearing one at all.

LloydBC · 14/12/2020 15:24

So sorry for your loss, these early days of grief are dark and heavy.

My wonderful Dad died very unexpectedly in November. Lots of tears at the funeral but to be honest I forgot about the mask.

Sending you strength 💐

GertiMJN · 14/12/2020 15:30

I'm so sorry to hear this OP

My mum died earlier this year and we had to wear face masks in the service but took them off when necessary to wipe eyes or blow noses. We also took them off whilst reading our tributes. We were standing more than 2 m from everyone else when speaking.

I hope the service goes as well as possible in the horrible circumstances

ttigerlilly · 14/12/2020 15:32

I'm terribly sorry OP

I had my Grandads funeral last week. I did cry through pretty much the whole thing. My mask was soaked. It just can't be helped.

LtJudyHopps · 14/12/2020 15:34

I’m so sorry for your loss. Maybe a large scarf you can wrap round your face entering and leaving?

MadameBlobby · 14/12/2020 15:36

I’m so sorry love x this is terrible news.

I’d just take a few spares with you and if you feel it’s wet pop on a fresh one.

JaneJeffer · 14/12/2020 15:38

Sorry for your loss.

When I was a child women wore mantillas at funerals. It could be classed as a face covering.

wetasstenalady · 14/12/2020 15:38

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss how cruel

joystir59 · 14/12/2020 15:41

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Don't wear a mask, it will not be manageable for you. I lost the love of my life in July, so all my grieving is being done in Cv19 rules. I didn't wear a mask at the funeral, and I hugged everyone who attended- it was instinctive and I completely forgot about the virus that day. I find it possible to howl my heart out in Sainsbury's behind a mask, with carols masking the sound. No-one notices!
I hope you and your siblings can draw much comfort from each other, and be kind to yourselves and each other. So sorry OP

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 14/12/2020 15:42

So sorry for your loss. Maybe wear a visor? But to be honest no one can complain if you slip down your mask to blow your nose.

I don’t think I actually cried either of my parents funerals - too numb, too surreal.

Oblomov20 · 14/12/2020 15:53

Went to a funeral on Friday. One (of 4) daughters cried quietly, shaking, throughout. If you need to take off your mask, that's fine.

Popcornriver · 14/12/2020 16:20

Had to keep removing it. Absolutely dreadful. Sorry for your loss OP

jay55 · 14/12/2020 16:23

So sorry for your loss.
Keep a big stack of tissues in your pocket and pull the mask aside to clean up as you need to.

I was too stressed to cry at my mum's funeral. Too focused on the logistics and didn't cry until it was all over.

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