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Covid

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Original poster

So sad, but right decision about Xmas

66 replies

DirtyDancing · 09/12/2020 22:07

Feeling awful in my heart but relief in my head.
My Mum who is on her own, in her 70s and incredibly close to her 2 young Grandchildren won’t be coming for Xmas.

We’ve had a lot of family tragedy over the years. My kids and I are all she has. But, after a big heart to heart, she’s staying at home for Xmas.

We’ve had a bad outbreak at the school this week, (fully shut) and she would need to travel between tiers on public transport. We will not take the risk.

What a shit bloody year. We lost her brother and uncle to covid and now we can’t be together.

OP posts:

Mindymomo · 10/12/2020 06:57

You’ve done the right thing. We are not seeing anyone this Christmas and I know very few people that are. Yes, it’s different when you have young children, but I would rather have a safe Christmas than have the worry.

School infection rates are very scary. We are having a really bad time where we are with a lot of cases, mainly from secondary age children.

whatswithtodaytoday · 10/12/2020 07:00

It's the right decision. You wouldn't be able to relax, and if she did get ill you would always blame yourself. She'll be vaccinated soon and then you can have a lovely day with her.

Remmy123 · 10/12/2020 07:06

If it's her decision then so be it - my mum is same age and living on her own but she has already had it (and was fine)

Original poster

DirtyDancing · 10/12/2020 07:12

It is comforting to hear others are doing the same. I am hearing a lot of people who are choosing to get together, and whilst I strongly advocate every has to make their own choices to make, it is nice to know we are not alone in doing this

@KarmaNoMore I am sorry to hear all that you have been through with it this year x

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Original poster

DirtyDancing · 10/12/2020 07:14

@Mindymomo it isn’t just ours then. School has been fine and now we have a huge outbreak across years and it won’t reopen before Xmas. So kids off until NY. I worry that with so many bubbles mixing for Xmas we’ll be back to square 1 in January again...

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Original poster

DirtyDancing · 10/12/2020 07:59

@Invisiblewoman1 I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. It is acceptable, it’s hard and it may well be sad. But we will get through this. I hope you enjoy Xmas day, what ever it brings and get yourself a nice pudding/ meal or bottle of something nice (whatever is your fav thing) and enjoy. Cheers to you

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Els1e · 10/12/2020 07:59

It is hard but I think it’s the right decision. Just think of the lovely catch up and hugs you can have when the time is right

Skyr2 · 10/12/2020 08:35

It is really hard, it’s a double whammy for us as not doing the 5.5 hr journey to visit my family (we could not do 11 hrs round trip for a visit to the garden!) but one of my uni aged children is in Europe and we have decided they should not come home either :(
I have to keep telling myself it is only 1 day and we can have a Christmas later in the year when we can travel.

Tomorrowisanotherdayyouknow · 10/12/2020 08:54

Ignore the people who suggest you just get together, if it is rife in your area then that's foolish and possibly life threatening for her.

You make the decision that sits well with you and your mother.

Celebrate once she and others have the vaccine

Best wishes

StCharlotte · 10/12/2020 09:00

It's hard.

My lovely MIL has declared she will stay at home alone. She's got this far... She's 89 and doesn't really like Christmas anyway. SIL will be dropping in a plated Christmas dinner though. She's quite happy and all she wants for Christmas is the vaccine

nocoolnamesleft · 10/12/2020 17:51

My parents have made the same decision. I hate it, but they're right.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 10/12/2020 17:54

Such a shame. Big hugs

Original poster

DirtyDancing · 10/12/2020 18:16

Seeing the news on secondary schools has sealed the deal for me. We could all be symptomatic, and give it to her on Xmas day!

I’ve got together her Xmas day parcel today including the cracker I made, nutcracker napkin I had bought (she loves that ballet) and I’m going to send a piece of my Xmas cake! If I wrap it well it should be fine.

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fadingfast · 10/12/2020 18:23

We’re facing similar dilemmas here. DM is late 70s, in good health but lives alone. Dsis wants us all to go to hers for Christmas but I’m feeling very conflicted about it. We’re both in adjacent Tier 2 counties, but cases are rising and we both have children at school. I so badly want the kids to have at least a bit of fun with their cousins. Mum has said that she thinks it might be best if she stays on her own, which is just heartbreaking. I’m not sure if part of the reason is because she knows how worried I am about her getting it, and so won’t relax if we all get together, or if she really would rather not risk it. I suspect a bit of both, but I really want her to make the decision because of what she wants rather than what anyone else wants. We need to have some honest conversations but it’s just so hard and I get really upset by it all.

ScrapThatThen · 10/12/2020 18:39

Ddad has decided the same as your dm, but my dm and mil want to come so far. We will take precautions and they live locally but it's not necessarily the right decision. We will decide nearer the time. So I have both sides of the coin! Ddad alone and anxiety here!

jerometheturnipking · 10/12/2020 18:50

You're doing the right thing OP. You've made a far more sensible decision than people who are carrying on regardless but with extra hand washing and masks between courses at dinner.

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