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Original poster

How are people going to make Christmas safe?

66 replies

jinglejanglerumbalows · 07/12/2020 20:59

My DM lives alone. We've only see her outside since March. Although legally she can bubble with us, we've been cautious as we are a risk to her.

I've just had a chat with her and she's almost certain that she won't be visiting us at Xmas. From the start I said the decision was hers, based on how she perceived the risk, and that the DCs and I cannot isolate on the run-up to Xmas. Her decision was made based on a report on a radio show by a doctor about staying 2m apart indoors, no board games, using your own cutlery etc. She thinks she'll just spend the whole time with us worrying, so it's not worth it. I completely respect her choice.

Those of you that are joining together this Xmas, what are you doing to ensure you all stay safe? The fact that we can join with two other households doesn't mean that the risk has reduced. Will you be SD indoors? Keeping all the windows open? My DM may well change her mind when the reality of spending all of Xmas alone sinks in, so I'd appreciate some suggestions of how others plan to deal with it.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 07/12/2020 21:01

There’s a whole thread on this already- some
Good ideas so worth a read

DobbyTheHouseElk · 07/12/2020 21:04

Too risky IMO. We aren’t going to.

We suggested FaceTime running in the background so we will be broadcasting our day! We might do a drive by if we get desperate, wave from the car.

VanCleefArpels · 07/12/2020 21:09

We had planned to spend Xmas with elderly vulnerable (had been shielding) parents. But this close to a vaccine we mutually decided it’s really not worth even the tiny risk that we are asymptomatic carriers and send them home with more than a bellyful of turkey and a few sherries. A lot of people I know in similar position have come to the same conclusion- I wonder if it will just be younger families/ groups of friends who will embrace the Christmas Bubble?

Madcats · 07/12/2020 21:21

DPs are in 80's and 90's. We dashed down as soon as we were able to in July (when cases were low round here) and will see them again once they are vaccinated. They have local friends/help.

They can make do with Skype and the hampers of treats. On the plus side, none of them have pneumonia/pleurisy this year.

We're hoping for a lovely Easter or Whitsun break on their side of the country.

Theotherrudolph · 07/12/2020 21:22

By accepting it isn’t and can’t be “safe” and making decisions accordingly.

Whyarewehardofthinking · 08/12/2020 07:02

I honestly know no families that are mixing, especially anyone with children, unless they are already have a childcare arrangement. My elderly aunt has bubbles with her best friend and neither are seeing family (and are probably going to eat lots and drink lots together!)

Mixing is not safe. I am dreading January both personally and professionally (secondary teacher, sixth form external exams, cases already in every year etc, etc)

mrsknottschicken · 08/12/2020 07:25

My parents have got a gazebo especially for Christmas. We will have bacon sandwiches in the gazebo, with only 2 people (my mum and dad) allowed to handle the food. We will exchange presents and then go home. We will be there for 2 hours probably. We will also all be having a private test on Dec 18 (the DNA nudge one). We won’t be going inside their house and whilst we are in the garden we will not be hugging or anything.

WankPuffins · 08/12/2020 07:29

Well, it can't really be safe for us.

One dc in primary - half the school is off. She's not been told to stay home yet, we've miraculously missed it. Ds in college, same thing.

My dad is 86 and has been coming to stay once a month. He's coming next at Christmas. He doesn't give a monkeys. He's very difficult at the best of times and my life wouldn't be worth living with the guilt trips, endless depressing phone calls if we didn't let him come.

We don't see anyone else, just him. And to be honest he's a big risk too as he's always carried on doing what he wants and seeing his friends regardless.

So sometimes it's the elderly people who couldn't give less of a shit.

HailFairy · 08/12/2020 07:30

We won’t be seeing family indoors for all the reasons you say. It’s too hard to effectively distance when you’re spending a prolonged period in a room together.

We will see our closest friends - and we won’t be distancing at all from them. But we’re all similar ages, risks etc. so that’s completely different.

MiddleClassMother · 08/12/2020 07:31

They just won't, people have already made plans with more than three households. Also people think it is three households a day etc. It's never going to work unfortunately.

nannynick · 08/12/2020 07:35

I am not going to travel 600 miles. I am going to a place I can walk to from home, about 2.5 miles away.
I am going to a place I already go to every week as it is work. Therefore the risk is not hugely increased as we already have contact indoors.

I can't see us social distancing in the home, it is not practical with baby and toddler.

ApolloandDaphne · 08/12/2020 07:36

My 80yo DM is coming to me (she is in my bubble) along with both my DDs who are in their 20's and don't live here now. I have a big house so we plan to give my DM a room with her own en suite which only she will use. We will allocate her a chair to use in the sitting room and we will distance at the dining table.

We have talked through the risks with her and she still wants to be here as the other option is for her to be alone and she just won't countenance that. She already does her own shopping, goes out daily for her paper, goes to church etc. All of us work from home so we don't mix much with other people. We will mitigate the risks as much as we can and hopefully have a safe and lovely Christmas.

Pipandmum · 08/12/2020 07:39

My mil is the only vulnerable older person I would possibly see, but have not since the first lockdown. So my safe practise is to not see anyone vulnerable at all.

LegoPandemic · 08/12/2020 07:46

Isolating from 18th onwards
Celebrating after actual Christmas Day so we have isolated for longer
Lateral flow tests every 2 days from 20th until we see them (I managed to buy a box privately).
Only seeing 6 of us.
Windows open (fire on as my mum feels the cold!)

LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella · 08/12/2020 08:01

@Theotherrudolph

By accepting it isn’t and can’t be “safe” and making decisions accordingly.
Yes - this
actiongirl1978 · 08/12/2020 08:06

Sitting in our very large tent in the garden with all tree he doors open and lots of ventilation!

Electric blanket on the outdoor sofa for parents to sit on with rugs, fairy lights etc.

Bacon and pigs on the BBQ with champagne. Hoping to manage two or three hours.

Calmandmeasured1 · 08/12/2020 08:15

How are people going to make Christmas safe
I am keeping my family and myself safe by not forming a Christmas bubble. We are all sticking to our own household/support bubbles this year and looking forward to things being more normal sooner rather than later. We can have a bigger, more fabulous Christmas in 2021.

The rates of infection and deaths will go up in January but sensible people know that the virus doesn't know it is Christmas (as the Prime Minister reminded us). Please everyone, take as much care as you can and let's help keep the rates as low as possible.

lynsey91 · 08/12/2020 08:26

Me and DH are keeping ourselves and my family including very elderly parents safe by not seeing any of them at Christmas.

Will be the first Christmas in my 66 years that I have not been with parents but we all feel it is the safest thing to do.

We are going to have a quiet Christmas at home with a nice meal, lots of nice snacks etc.

Next year when it is safe to do so we will all get together (18 of us) and have our Christmas even though it might be in April

starfish4 · 08/12/2020 08:27

OP, we're in a similar position to you. Not met Mum indoors/is on her own. She has said she'd like to see us all suggesting for a walk even if one at a time. She did mention coming to ours for a coffee - this is totally do-able as she can sit in extension which we hardly use so haven't touched. She's welcome to bring her own mug and plate - we can have a mid way point where we put coffee in her cup and she chooses cake/biscuits. Such a shame doing it like that, but I work at a school so it has to be one of these options to do it reasonably safely.

dementedma · 08/12/2020 08:46

85 year old DM will come to us. She lives alone and we have had to go in daily to care for her anyway so nothing has changed. Just no hugging, lots of hand washing.

GabriellaMontez · 08/12/2020 09:01

We can't 'ensure' anything. If anyone is ill they'll stay at home. We'll keep a window open.

endofthelinefinally · 08/12/2020 09:16

The Royal Society of Medicine are doing their broadcast on this today. I cant do links on phone but I started a thread that includes the link and the details. Just bumped it on here a few minutes ago.

endofthelinefinally · 08/12/2020 11:03

Kate Garroway is doing the questions.

Stepstepmother · 08/12/2020 14:39

Bloody hell this thread is insane. Do you all do this every year with vulnerable relatives for flu and norovirus too?

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