Breaking rules. Is it ever ok?

[Meowmeow2020]

My sister called me late last night crying asking to stay ( abusive partner) i let her stay and ended up bed sharing as she was in a bad way and frankly i I didn't trust her not to hurt her self. Last week i went food shopping despite that fact my dd was awaiting test results. We had no food at all and i couldn't get a slot or someone to drop something in asap. I couldn't let my kids starve or my baby without milk. So i broke the rules again. Ive always stuck by the rules but i dont regret any of the above.
Im i selfish? Or do we are break them when needs be?

None of these things seem unreasonable.

I am convinced that the majority of the spread of Covid is from people doing things that seem perfectly reasonable.

It's just inevitable, I think.

You weren't breaking the rules in helping your sister. There has always been provision in the various legislation for people at risk of harm and for providing care and assistance for vulnerable people. It should have been better publicised because not knowing these provisions were there will have been detrimental to so many.

I don't believe you actually broke any rules at all.

I'm convinced that the majority of spread is from small indoor events like having a cup of tea or meal indoors with your neighbours & close family, or sitting & talking to someone also in hospital/prison/carehome/rehab centre/staff room. Not from supermarket runs, walking the dog at midnight, going for a jog by yourself, etc. Plus the occasional 2am crowded shisha cafe or 100-person student party.

I don’t think you broke the rules. Going to the whilst waiting for your dd’s test results wasn’t ideal but it was necessary. It wasn’t you who was unwell and I presume that the results was negative when it came (as you didn’t say otherwise) so no harm done. It wouldn’t have been an issue if the result had been quicker. Escaping from domestic abuse was considered and publicised as a reason to break the initial lockdown, you have provided a safe space for your sister.

I've broken the rules by having a friend over for coffee and leaving my Council area for non-essential reasons.

Don't feel guilty about it in the slightest.

You have much better reasons than me. Hope your sister is OK.

You have not broken any rules. There has always been an exemption to allow people to seek safety from abuse.

You absolutely did the right thing for your sister, I think anyone would in a heartbeat

During the march lockdown i called the police and when they went over the hers not once did they mention her going elsewhere. Yeah she was negative thankfully. Theres a lot of reasons why people break lockdown/ rules and thats ok.

You didn’t break rules with your sister but you did with your shopping. There’s always a justification to make to yourself but there are alternatives to getting your shopping, even if it’s not quite what you’d usually want to have.

10 of us broke the rules 2 weeks ago, when we all went back to my sister's house after dad's funeral...we even hugged.

I've broken them in the school holidays by using various people for childcare. I have no one who can commit to a regular childcare bubble, my family all work so they can only help out on an ad hoc basis when they have days off so it's a different person every time.

It was either that or I can't work, and as a single parent not working isn't an option. So I feel no guilt.

there are alternatives to getting your shopping, even if it’s not quite what you’d usually want to have.

I volunteer with the food bank so did a test to see if this is true. Food bank only delivering, so you can get a parcel but it might be three days (demand is so high). Supermarkets don't have delivery slots this week. The council support line is only helping those with a positive test, and refers those people to the food bank. Not sure what else people can do?

I do find it hard to believe that in the 24-72 hours most results come back a family would starve if not going to the shop and equally that a family would not have one person in their life who could pop to the shop for them.

I’m not particularly popular but could count about 15 people I could ask and if I thought about it probably loads more.

@OverTheRainbow88

I do find it hard to believe that in the 24-72 hours most results come back a family would starve if not going to the shop and equally that a family would not have one person in their life who could pop to the shop for them.

I’m not particularly popular but could count about 15 people I could ask and if I thought about it probably loads more.

It always surprises me too tbh, I find it really sad actually. I cannot imagine being so isolated I have no family or friends who could drop off shopping for me I think that's why community pages were set up on FB, to help such people.

@Hayeahnobut

there are alternatives to getting your shopping, even if it’s not quite what you’d usually want to have.

I volunteer with the food bank so did a test to see if this is true. Food bank only delivering, so you can get a parcel but it might be three days (demand is so high). Supermarkets don't have delivery slots this week. The council support line is only helping those with a positive test, and refers those people to the food bank. Not sure what else people can do?

There are lots of other places that deliver though, lots of local shops. Most would prefer to deliver than have someone come in who is potentially spreading covid! Also, I suspect that there is someone who would be happy to help, most communities have pulled together. Eg a school mum, neighbour, colleague etc would help even if not a 'friend'.

I am not saying there aren't people who genuinely have no one, but hopefully that is pretty rare.

@CarrieBlue

You didn’t break rules with your sister but you did with your shopping. There’s always a justification to make to yourself but there are alternatives to getting your shopping, even if it’s not quite what you’d usually want to have.

No one could have dropped off shopping for us. Ive never did a big food shop always buy stuff for the day type shopping so apart from tins of beans etc we had nothing in. Saying that i have started a big food shop so it wont be an problem again. Saves money too. Help is only available after a positive test not while waiting.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

10 of us broke the rules 2 weeks ago, when we all went back to my sister's house after dad's funeral...we even hugged.

We did the same in lockdown 1, with 8 of us. We went back to MIL's house with our household and BIL's family following FIL's funeral. We let BIL stay over too when he came down to see his dad on the day he died. He lives 3 hours away.

We let Dd see her boyfriend in the garden and share a drink on her 18th birthday in April. It was 4 days after her grandad had died and everything had been cancelled and she was struggling.

I saw my parents in my house in sane lockdown, towards the end, after they came down for my nana's funeral. 18y Dd hugged then both.

We hugged my parents after my other nana's funeral in the summer too.

I'm actually the more clinically vulnerable than any of the older grandparents but felt the risks in each occasion were 'worth it' to us.

Why can you only get help after a positive test? What are the close contacts instructed to isolate by T&T supposed to do? Do they magically need less food and medication? Or is the conclusion that they are less risky when they inevitably have to break isolation?

I don’t get it. If a baby needs formula then a baby needs formula. I assume the nhs would prefer you not to rock up to A&E with a dehydrated unfed baby. Are there just not enough volunteers to cover demand?

I've broken the rules several times (both intentionally and not intentionally). I've stopped caring to be quite honest. Over it now.

I can think of several circumstances in which I would break the rules with no qualms whatsoever, e.g. if I came across a lost child or an elderly person fell in the street, I wouldn’t stop to put a mask on.

Re the shopping thing - local Covid mutual support groups exist for this exact reason. You don’t need a positive test - if you are self-isolating there are people who will help.

I have nobody to help us to buy food. I have one friend who wd help but he has no car so wd be tricky. No family. Luckily not had to ask as not been in a predicament so far.

1. With your sister it’s perfectly within the rules
2. Probably against the rules, but understandable

There are local Facebook groups etc doing informal help, if you can’t find one then ask around on village/local gossip groups - and if there isn’t one then creating one is a good idea

I’m on one here that ranges from neighborhood help, where can I find x product” for allergies etc, to picking up prescriptions, shopping etc

Ive never did a big food shop always buy stuff for the day type shopping so apart from tins of beans etc we had nothing in. Saying that i have started a big food shop so it wont be an problem again.

Since we are 8 months into a pandemic where people have to suddenly stay home for 2 weeks when/if contacted by track and trace it’s probably wise to have a few days worth of food in.

Given that you have limited local support, it's probably worth getting a few days food in and just sticking it in a box under the bed or something. You never know when something as simple as a sprained ankle could make getting to the shops really difficult.