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Original poster

Breaking rules. Is it ever ok?

46 replies

Meowmeow2020 · 06/12/2020 10:44

My sister called me late last night crying asking to stay ( abusive partner) i let her stay and ended up bed sharing as she was in a bad way and frankly i I didn't trust her not to hurt her self. Last week i went food shopping despite that fact my dd was awaiting test results. We had no food at all and i couldn't get a slot or someone to drop something in asap. I couldn't let my kids starve or my baby without milk. So i broke the rules again. Ive always stuck by the rules but i dont regret any of the above.
Im i selfish? Or do we are break them when needs be?

OP posts:

MissEllaWater · 06/12/2020 19:59

@OverTheRainbow88

I do find it hard to believe that in the 24-72 hours most results come back a family would starve if not going to the shop and equally that a family would not have one person in their life who could pop to the shop for them.

I’m not particularly popular but could count about 15 people I could ask and if I thought about it probably loads more.

DH and I have absolutely nobody we could rely on, or even ask. We have no friends and no family. I was unwell recently (not covid) and attempted to get a supermarket delivery - all my local ones were booked for weeks. We don't drive so can't click and collect and we don't have the space/money to have a stash of groceries in case we need to isolate. My council only help those with a positive test result so if we were in OP's position we'd have literally no choice but to go out.

OP, you did nothing wrong. How is your sister?

OverTheRainbow88 · 06/12/2020 20:02

@MissEllaWater

Well if you know you’ve got no one at all I would suggest having a week or 2 worth of food at home rather than possibly infect others by going shopping

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/12/2020 20:05

Helping your sister was allowed, the shopping not. Surely your sister could have picked your shopping up or you could have sourced online.

Lougle · 06/12/2020 20:09

@Meowmeow2020

My sister called me late last night crying asking to stay ( abusive partner) i let her stay and ended up bed sharing as she was in a bad way and frankly i I didn't trust her not to hurt her self. Last week i went food shopping despite that fact my dd was awaiting test results. We had no food at all and i couldn't get a slot or someone to drop something in asap. I couldn't let my kids starve or my baby without milk. So i broke the rules again. Ive always stuck by the rules but i dont regret any of the above. Im i selfish? Or do we are break them when needs be?

Neither of those things are against the rules.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/12/2020 20:11

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@MissEllaWater

Well if you know you’ve got no one at all I would suggest having a week or 2 worth of food at home rather than possibly infect others by going shopping[/quote]
It’s been known for months to have supplies in in case of isolation yet so many seem to think it’s fine to go out and possibly infect others.

Surely you ensure you have the basics and anything essential in especially if a parent rather than risk the lives of others.

bloodywhitecat · 06/12/2020 20:12

I was at a cafe in a group of 9 yesterday, 4 adults and 5 children, to the unknowing eye it looked like we were breaking the rules but we weren't. I wouldn't worry about what you were doing, there are times when we need to do what we need to do.

MissEllaWater · 06/12/2020 20:21

[quote OverTheRainbow88]@MissEllaWater

Well if you know you’ve got no one at all I would suggest having a week or 2 worth of food at home rather than possibly infect others by going shopping[/quote]
As I said - we don't have the money or the space to have a stash of groceries. I have limited mobility so can't carry lots of shopping - I have to shop pretty much daily.

If I tested positive there's help available - if waiting for a result, there isn't. What are people supposed to do? People on benefits or low incomes, for example, who simply cannot afford to stock up?

MissEllaWater · 06/12/2020 20:23

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss I don't think it's 'fine'. I think for some people, it's unavoidable. I've not been in this position yet thankfully, but heaven knows what I'll do if I ever am.

manicinsomniac · 06/12/2020 20:29

Of course. It's almost always advisable to break the rules when the consequences of sticking to them are likely to be worse than the consequences of breaking them. There are loads of examples where that would be the case.

Sharing a bed with your sister in those circs is definitely one.

I don't think the shopping is, personally. You had edible stuff in the house and Amazon deliver food in 24 hours if all else fails.

manicinsomniac · 06/12/2020 20:33

whitecat I'm intrigued - how were you within the rules? Are you tier 1 Scotland? I can't think of anything else. Support group exemption, maybe? Home education group?

coastergirl · 06/12/2020 20:33

Between me and my kids, we've had five periods of isolation due to being in contact with positive cases at work, school and nursery. We've always followed the rules, until last week. I had two days of isolation left. My cat became suddenly extremely unwell. I'm a single parent so got my neighbour to sit with the kids (late at night) and took cat to the emergency vets. I broke the rules again the next day when I went to hold him while he was put to sleep 😢 No regrets.

You did nothing wrong OP. Some people are making a mockery of the rules and intentionally putting others at risk purely because they don't care. You did what you had to do.

RedskyAtnight · 06/12/2020 20:36

There are often posts on our local facebook from people who are isolating asking if anyone can pick bits up from the shops for them. They are usually inundated with offers. Can I suggest, if you really don't know anyone who could go to the shops for you, that you befriend a couple of your neighbours? We (having not previously done much more than say hello when we bumped into them) exchanged numbers with a few people who lived near us at the start of lockdown with a view that we could help each other out if needed.

movingonup20 · 06/12/2020 20:39

I've had to be flexible with my interpretation because of quite unusual outing circumstances. I got so worried I called my local police who told me that they were not interested in fining people who are on balance doing the right thing.

I'm breaking the rules right now but I'm safer doing this than the legal alternative, I do not want to stay in a hotel room (who knows whether it's been cleaned properly) and eat room service (who know what the chef and waiter have been up to) rather than staying where I am, socially distanced, clean etc. University pick up is a necessity and I can't go both ways in a day

movingonup20 · 06/12/2020 20:40

@Hayeahnobut

Morrison's food boxes are usually available

OnNaturesCourse · 06/12/2020 20:43

I think you've been perfectly reasonable.

I've had to bend a few rules too unfortunately. My Mum had to visit my house to watch my child who was sleeping as I went into hospital, I had to travel outside my council area to collect supplies to fix my shed before the weather got in and ruined it, I've made trips to our local Asda for non essential items (honestly it's a sad state when wandering round George Asda is exciting), and I've "bumped into" family members when out doing essential shopping because I needed adult interaction after being home alone with a 3 year old for 6 days.

I've not been in anyones else, neither has DC and aside from thr one time my Mum came to mine no one has been in my house. I think that's where the main spread is happening, in houses, in close contact, car shares etc.

Yes we all have to be careful but you can't let your kids go hungry, or your sister be unsafe - priorities.

OffredOfjune · 06/12/2020 20:48

I mean really, I wouldn't give a second bloody thought to the rules in regards to your sister - you did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up.

Essexgirlupnorth · 06/12/2020 20:51

I broke the rules in first lockdown and I would do the same again. No one got Covid from doing it either. Otherwise there would have been no one at my Grandma funeral and didn't want to drag my daughter on a 10hr round trip or my Dad to crash on the motorway as he had driven to far on one day.

bloodywhitecat · 07/12/2020 19:29

@manicinsomniac

whitecat I'm intrigued - how were you within the rules? Are you tier 1 Scotland? I can't think of anything else. Support group exemption, maybe? Home education group?

Contact with family for siblings in care (in our case foster care the siblings are not all placed together as it would be impossible), sibling and family contact is allowed to go ahead and so are transitions into adoption.

bloodywhitecat · 07/12/2020 19:35

Siblings in care

christinarossetti19 · 07/12/2020 19:43

I was out running and bumped into two friends running together last month. We stopped and chatted at distance for 10 minutes.

I realised afterwards that that was breaking the rules.

SatsumaFan · 08/12/2020 23:17

I'm like another pp; totally over it. I follow most of the rules most of the time but take measured risks at others.

I've got to a place where I think if we're going to get it we're going to get it. I'd rather get it from my best friend after a rare outdoor brief hug than the supermarket anyway.

Sick of living in fear. It's exhausting.

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