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Original poster

It’s never going to be the same. No Christmas cheer :(

42 replies

Hopeisadoggy · 05/12/2020 14:04

Currently in the middle of putting up our Christmas tree and I just feel so so sad.

We became parents in February and this will be our sons first Christmas.

We had a huge family Christmas planned, gatherings, parties, drinks, games.
None of that now is happening.

We can’t see my parents because my mum works in a high risk job and doesn’t want to put us at risk.
My husbands mum is too CEV and doesn’t want to take any risks.

I was so looking forward to taking my son to the our local church for the christingle, it’s where we got married and we go every year.

I know everyone is in the same boat but I can’t help but feel like my sons first year and all the firsts we had planned have almost been taken from us.

I feel so down and upset. I just want things to be normal.

Honestly will we ever go back to life pre Covid? Because right now it doesn’t feel as if we will.

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 05/12/2020 14:07

I saw one of the medical officers/scientists the other day who said once the vaccine is rolled out hospitalisation and deaths will reduce by 99%. That’s going to mean a return to mixing etc of course it is. People aren’t going to keep adhering to these measures once the vaccine programme is rolled out.

overoptimism · 05/12/2020 14:10

This year your child doesn't know it's Christmas. It's the children who are eagerly anticipating Christmas traditions that I feel sorry for. You have next year to look forward to when your baby will be able to participate.

Whenwillow · 05/12/2020 14:10

He's still very little. He'll have no idea what's going on. Next year will be lovely, no need to fret about this one Flowers

Original poster
Hopeisadoggy · 05/12/2020 14:11

@overoptimism

This year your child doesn't know it's Christmas. It's the children who are eagerly anticipating Christmas traditions that I feel sorry for. You have next year to look forward to when your baby will be able to participate.
@overoptimism

No, he doesn’t. But I do and my feelings are valid.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hopeisadoggy · 05/12/2020 14:13

It just feels so awful that we can’t see our families 😞

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 05/12/2020 14:14

They haven't been taken. You will still have all the first time doing these things, they will just be next year instead.

Oxyiz · 05/12/2020 14:16

Of course you can feel sad. Its just that there's nothing to do to fix it, so it's about adapting and looking at the bright side.

We tried for so long to have a child and never managed, so I don't know what it's like, but surely your baby's first year will be unique no matter what, and then next year will the the "big" firsts instead? Its all just put back a little, that's all.

Who knows what would have happened in normal times - you could have all come down with the flu or something on December 21st anyway.

linerforlife · 05/12/2020 14:17

Your feelings are 100% valid and I'm in the same boat. It's my baby's first Christmas too, and this year all our first special family celebrations with the baby have been taken from us too. And it's ok to say it sucks because it does. So does losing your job or losing a loved one or having to cancel your wedding because of covid. Saying something sucks for you doesn't mean that you want to minimise other people's suffering, this year has been hard for everyone in a million ways. It's ok that some of this sucks for us with our babies, and it's not what we wanted for their first Christmas.

Original poster
Hopeisadoggy · 05/12/2020 14:18

@Oxyiz

Of course you can feel sad. Its just that there's nothing to do to fix it, so it's about adapting and looking at the bright side.

We tried for so long to have a child and never managed, so I don't know what it's like, but surely your baby's first year will be unique no matter what, and then next year will the the "big" firsts instead? Its all just put back a little, that's all.

Who knows what would have happened in normal times - you could have all come down with the flu or something on December 21st anyway.

@Oxyiz

Sorry to hear that.

It has been wonderful it really has, he’s made this year bearable, but it just upsets me so much that we still have friends and family that have never met him as it just hasn’t been possible.

OP posts:
GerardWay123 · 05/12/2020 14:19

Yes, of course your feelings are valid. Maybe make a 2020 Christmas Memory Box. With photos, a Christmas decoration, the outfit he wore. He won't miss this Christmas but you will, so in years to come your little boy will have memories that you have made and kept for him.
He's still a baby, just enjoy it. X

LIZS · 05/12/2020 14:21

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

They haven't been taken. You will still have all the first time doing these things, they will just be next year instead.
This ^^
Sparklingbrook · 05/12/2020 14:22

I am wrapping up presents for my nephew that was born in January. Seen him 3 times Sad Was hoping to be having a big family Christmas with him for his first onw together with DSIL's family who live abroad and would have flown over.

Instead I am sending a parcel and having a Facetime wave on Christmas Day. I realise the baby doesn't know but I still feel sad as it's his first Christmas and he's the first baby in the family for 18 years. Sad

Next year had better be good.

user1274245 · 05/12/2020 14:24

Yes, you can feel how you feel, but you might feel better if you focused on the many wonderful things you do have instead of focusing exclusively on what you feel you're missing.

Magissa · 05/12/2020 14:25

It is so sad that the Christmas you had dreamed off for your little one isn't going to be what you had hoped for. But it can still be special. You can create lovely memories and though you can't go into church for Christingle you could still make the orange and candle. You could walk to the church. Take photographs for his baby book and it will be part of his history. It is what you as his parents make it. It will be special because of you. Smile

Magissa · 05/12/2020 14:26

And that was supposed to be a smiling face....

BogRollBOGOF · 05/12/2020 14:27

DS1's first Christmas was strange as he was due days before so we couldn't make plans. He was less than a week old and it had been a tough week of long labour, EMCS, HDU and a few days on the main ward. I was pretty wrecked.
Metally his "first" Christmas was when he was 1. We were visting family, he was on solids and eating Christmas dinner including sprouts and he enjoyed it.

It is a strange one this year. So little build up. Difficulties making arrangements with family. Few people will feel normal about it.

Normal Christmases will come. Next year will be all the better for baby being able to enjoy most of it and being able to make normal arrangements with family again.

Oxyiz · 05/12/2020 14:29

Sorry, I didn't intend that as a "woe is me" thing OP, I just meant to explain that although I can't know for sure what you're going through, it's not all lost or stolen, just delayed.

One of the things that makes me feel a bit better somehow is remembering that even a few decades ago, we wouldn't have had mobiles and texts and video calls. In the real old days we could be a hundred miles away from family and rely on the odd letter here and there throughout the year, if we were literate and wealthy enough to write. If someone travelled to another country we perhaps wouldn't have ever sen them again. At least now we have ways to stay connected.

And there's hope on the horizon. Its just another push further and we're not far off vaccines and something like normality again.

herecomesthsun · 05/12/2020 14:30

When my DS had his first Xmas he unwrapped 1 present, was delighted & exhausted by the unwrapping and then fell asleep contentedly. Unwrapping the presents took a very very long time. But was very cute.

I think it is crap that so many fun baby things have been shut down. But I hope, that given you have a lovely baby (I am sure your baby is lovely), that you will be able to find some enjoyment in having a Christmas time with him and I very much hope that the baby groups & activities all come back next year.

A baby who is 12-18 months will get a lot more out of them than a baby under 12 months, I'd say.

I'd be fed up as well, not to be able to do the things I'd planned!

GlumyGloomer · 05/12/2020 14:31

I'm sorry you're upset, and your lovely plans have been ruined, but I just wanted to offer a different perspective. My eldest's first Christmas was the worst of my life, not because of any external factors but because she was grumpy and cried for most of it, including over dinner, had to be taken out in the buggy to nap and I got into a stupid argument with Dh about whether she should be allowed a Heinz baby chocolate pudding my mum bought her. It sucked, but every year since has been better. It doesn't feel like it now but in a few years you'll have done everything you wanted to at subsequent christmases and this one will be an anecdotal blip you tell your dc one day.

museumum · 05/12/2020 14:35

It’s ok to be sad, obviously. And understandable.

But honestly, this is the best year to cosy in as a family of three and have a lovely time just you. Make sure you get in lovely food, watch films, read books and enjoy your baby. By next year your little one will be so much more aware of everything and enjoy meeting extended family and this will all be a distant memory.

Chloemol · 05/12/2020 14:40

Fine be sad, but look to the positive as well, you have a new baby, who at a fewmonths old isn’t going to know what’s going on anyway, you have your health as do your family, albeit you need to be careful

Just remember everyone is in the same boat, lots can’t see family this Christmas. However there is a vaccine now, and next Christmas will hopefully be different, with A Christingle your child will be more aware about, and a child that understands presents more

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/12/2020 14:42

Of course it's OK to be sad. But what's good is that you can snuggle up and have your first Christmas as a family of 3 together, and you can also create beautiful 'homey' traditions that will last for the rest of your lives with your wider family added in next year. God love you though OP, new mums have had it so tough this year. BiscuitThanks

Tigger001 · 05/12/2020 14:42

Just think your first Christmas as a little family unit can be spent just as that, I know it must be upsetting that all your plans have been ruined, but it means you still have all his firsts to look forward to next year when everyone can move more safely (hopefully) and the experience will be so much more enjoyable under those circumstances.

Take the baby to see all the lights in the Windows and gardens, put on lots of Christmas music, still get dressed up on the day, snuggle on for Christmas movie time. Enjoy what you have rather than longing for what can't be.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/12/2020 14:43

AARGH, WTF that biscuit is entirely accidental!

Original poster
Hopeisadoggy · 05/12/2020 14:48

Thanks everyone! I just really needed to vent and reading these replies has definitely helped! ❤️

OP posts: