It’s never going to be the same. No Christmas cheer :(

[Hopeisadoggy]

Currently in the middle of putting up our Christmas tree and I just feel so so sad.

We became parents in February and this will be our sons first Christmas.

We had a huge family Christmas planned, gatherings, parties, drinks, games.
None of that now is happening.

We can’t see my parents because my mum works in a high risk job and doesn’t want to put us at risk.
My husbands mum is too CEV and doesn’t want to take any risks.

I was so looking forward to taking my son to the our local church for the christingle, it’s where we got married and we go every year.

I know everyone is in the same boat but I can’t help but feel like my sons first year and all the firsts we had planned have almost been taken from us.

I feel so down and upset. I just want things to be normal.

Honestly will we ever go back to life pre Covid? Because right now it doesn’t feel as if we will.

Your mum is at more risk from her job than she is a risk to you.
Fine to be sad about this year but don't let it make you sad forever, OP.

Hi OP, your feelings are completely valid. But it can still be a lovely Christmas even if it isn’t what you imagined. Our DD was born late November last year, and we had Christmas just the three of us. My parents live in a different country, PILs are a long drive away, I’d had a difficult birth and we all agreed staying put was the best thing to do. It was really lovely. All we did was eat, open presets, go for a walk and call both our families, but it was honestly the best Christmas I’ve had. It was so relaxed and we got to enjoy our daughter at our, and her own pace. Enjoy this time with your son. It’s so special, and there will be many many more big Christmases to come!

Poor you, it's crap, it really is and yes this Christmas will be a let down for many. The only thing is that in my experience the whole "baby's first Christmas" is usually a let down anyway. My ds, I had the cutest little outfit saved for the big day. He screamed blue murder as soon as I put it in then threw up down it. My DNeice vomited on the Christmas lunch table. Friend's baby screamed outside the church doors through the entire "lovely Chris tingle service" also ds slept for the entire visit of elderly relative.... cue much complaining from said relative and do on.
Honestly, try not to hold on to the rosy idea of a "first" Christmas. You've got many more to come. Around 3 they start to understand and be really cute and good fun. And yes, Covid will end, you will have lovely Christmases again with your baby.... hang in there!!

You son will never know.

Hopefully you can find something to do that will make you feel happier.

I know what you mean OP. I had a little girl in may and was looking forward to her first Xmas. Last Xmas I had hyperemisis. However she is oblivious and just enjoys being with us. I feel more sorry for my 5 and 8 year old boys who are missing their usual Xmas activities with friends and family. I'm trying to make new traditions. Today we made Salt dough hand print tree decorations with the 3 of them and we've been going for drives to see the lights etc. It's not the same and it's all a bit rubbish

Hopefully you are just having to postpone, Op & eveyone will still be around for when what you want to do is possible.

I can understand why you're sad and will miss seeing all your family, but like someone else said, if you had to pick an age not to be able to socialise with a baby, this is probably the best one. Do the little Christmassy things, take the pictures, get cosy. The Christmas tastes and smells and lights and music will still be laid down as his first Christmas memories and will stay with him forever, even subconsciously. He's too young to have any awareness or memory of other people not being there though - you and your dh are still the most important people for him.

Don't be afraid to let the pandemic show in the odd photo either, because when he gets older that will make the pictures even more interesting for him - teenagers often love looking over pictures of themselves when they were younger, and are also really interested in big historical things that have gone on. A photo you take outside the church on Christmas Day this year, or of a family zoom, or of your dh smiling from behind a mask, could be "that photo of great grandma and great granddad, and granddad ds, on Christmas Day during the 2020 pandemic" that your great grandchildren will love to see. Family history with a touch of real history. Make a lovely cosy Christmas with lots of nice things for your ds and smile for your great grandchildren :-)

It is really rubbish. I’m in the same boat, had a baby in April and I normally work Christmas as I’m a nurse. This year I’m on mat leave and had planned to go and stay at my parents for Christmas as I don’t normally get the chance to do that. But we can’t as my other son is at school and I’m not taking the risk of passing the virus onto my parents. So it will be a quiet Christmas at home.
But I think to get through it, you have to adapt the way you’re looking at it. We are lucky to be safe and healthy. We are lucky we don’t live in a war torn country and Christmas is miserable every year. And we are lucky that we have the technology to be able to connect with family and friends all over the world. Of course you are allowed to feel robbed, and your feelings are valid. But you will have an even bigger and better Christmas next year and your little one will be much more into everything! Take a little piece of joy from every day, and every day we are one step closer to normality x

OP, he will just have his first proper family Christmas next year, and the things you haven’t been able to do yet will be possible.

I totally understand - I love Christmas and feel really sad when i see all my friends kids getting excited for Christmas. My twins are both disabled and have no concept yet of what Christmas is and I’m not sure they will. I’m also really envious is big family christmases as my mum died before I got pregnant, we don’t have much family and those we do have aren’t particularly interested, except my sister but she doesn’t live nearby. I would love all those things but I have to accept they’re not possible and make the best of it. It’s still a special time, try to enjoy the three of you together for Christmas as that probably won’t happen again.

Indeed your feelings are valid but as a parent, I feel a lot better if I think my children haven't been disappointed. So perhaps focus on that.

It's not just covid. Many, many experiences as a parent are not what they're built up to be in our imaginations. You picture a moment to remember and your baby is sick/hungry/out of routine and screams throughout. Or your partner has not been made aware of the importance of this event and doesn't play his part properly. As a new parent, it is easier to keep chilled out expectations. Children don't like being shoehorned into a calendar of special moments. I have tried! It doesn't take a global pandemic to overturn the perfect Christmas.

But honestly, this is the best year to cosy in as a family of three and have a lovely time just you. Make sure you get in lovely food, watch films, read books and enjoy your baby

I agree with this. Everyone else near enough ruined my DC's first Christmas- also a February baby. They had huge expectations of him which just either weren't age-appropriate or fair: about the concept of Santa; understanding opening presents; enjoying Christmas dinner; me being able to enjoy Christmas dinner and leave him to it; playing independently with toys they'd given him; staying up late until he fell asleep happily like in a film. It was ridiculously stressful.

Not in the same situation as you, but I had a wobble last weekend, feel better now. We won't be seeing others, we don't want to risk getting Covid and couldn't live with ourselves if we passed it on as 4/5 we know who've had it have been seriously ill, two lost their lives. However, this isn't the easy option, as we'll miss doing the usual things with four other families we'd normally see. Our older DD has only seen her friends outside since March, no having them in for games or a meal (one sometimes spends Xmas day). No visit to the pub or a nightclub. Not being judgemental, but I find it hard knowing some people out there feel comfortable and can see family, and we're not.

We'll try and make the most of it, games, nice food, walks, zoom. One thing you can do is introduce your little one to Xmas songs/carols aimed at little ones and sing them to him, Xmas themed books. I'm sure he'll love the shiny decorations out.

I know how you feel, my family haven’t met DS yet and that makes me really sad. But it will change. A lot of the tiers are meant to be lowering and the vaccine is on its way. Why not try and make the best of a bad situation? Indulge in a relaxing Christmas just the three of you, have a totally different Christmas focusing on you, your partner and your little one. Be indulgent, lazy and do things you normally wouldn’t. I know it’s not the same, but don’t dismiss it as a terrible Christmas, just try and enjoy it differently.

It’s been tough for new parents this year- no baby classes, no meeting for coffee with other mums, not getting to know family etc, first Christmas not what you expected. Of course these are all the things that you look forward to when pregnant and it’s disappointing when the reality is different.

However as OPs have pointed out, baby won’t have a clue what’s going on this year, but will definitely find it more exciting next year when they can get around and play much more. DD turns 3 just after Xmas and this is the first year she’s really started to understand it and get excited.

But you are completely justified to feel a little sad that the first Christmas doesn’t meet your expectations.

OP, my baby spent her first Christmas in intensive care, expected to die, at two days old. We saw her for an hour on Christmas Day while my PILs minded my 16 month old toddler at home.
Thankfully she survived, but this year has had to cancel her 30th birthday celebrations.

I was hospitalised with Covid in the spring, and now have permanent lung damage. I cannot see my elder daughter at Xmas at all, as her partner is shielding with a leaking heart valve.
Yes, it is all bloody upsetting, but at least I am alive to moan about it!

And I intend to make the best of whatever bits of Christmas are still possible. You can too.

Same boat here, mine was born in February as well. Family on both sides live abroad so most of them haven't met him at all, the rest only once for a very short time between covid waves. It's crap. Not very helpful, I know, but there's a lot of us, and I shall raise a glass to you all on Christmas morning in solidarity. Maybe that's my advice, start drinking early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!