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Original poster

Is anyone else’s dc opting out if activities rather than wear a mask?

35 replies

Oeliilio · 05/12/2020 08:32

DS has not got used to masks, hates them. Has tried them on and off but is resolute. He’ll cycle 4 miles in rain before wearing one on the bus. When he has tried he seems to freeze up, for example at horse riding he gave a few lessons a ago and was half-frozen and barely directed the horse, had to be got off (we switched to a new Outdoor centre in the end but it’s ending next week).
Now Scouts are going back, he’s due to move up and he’s resolute he doesn’t want to go with a mask. I know it’s a choice, but I feel sad he’s going to drop out of something he loves. I’ve forced him to a few time’s with a mask to give it a go but he’s ended up withdrawn then outside stressed (he does generally have some sensory quirks, but is academic and has never needed support. Just occasional adaptation).
More and more places locally are going beyond the requirements for masks and insisting children wear them, plus he’s 11 soon anyway. I just worry about him as at the moment these activities are his only social contact with all the restrictions on.
I don’t really know what I’m saying- I’m just asking how others have dealt with this For their children. What have you done? I’ve been trying to get him used to them most the year now, tried many types and it feels like I’ve exhausted options. It feels like training a cat to walk on a lead. Though he’s silent you can see he’s frozen in anxious mode (normally he’s reasonably confident and social).
My younger two aren’t bothered by them at all.

OP posts:
Ginogineli · 05/12/2020 08:43

that's odd as i'm tier 3 and none of my kids activities require masks as sports are exempt? Are they not predominantly outside in which case id be complaining as they're not required? They're not mandated in activities such as that - even offices don't mandate them so id be complaining.

Horse riding defo shouldnt be asking for a mask

ceeveebee · 05/12/2020 08:43

Yep, my DD has been told she needs to wear a mask for cheerleading and doesn’t want to, so is opting out (also I am not sending the DC to any indoor activities until after Christmas as concerned about exposing grandparents or making the rest of their class have to self isolate over Christmas...)

Flagsfiend · 05/12/2020 08:44

It sounds like he has an undiagnosed medical or SEND issue that causes sensory issues with masks. I teach in a secondary school and the vast majority of children have no issues whatsoever, it definitely doesn't cause them to become withdrawn or stressed. From your description he should probably be exempt from mask wearing, does he have other sensory issues such as with a scarf or helmet? Could he wear a visor? I know they aren't as effective, but one of our y7s wears one, I assume she is mask exempt and it helps show she has a reason to not have a mask but is trying her best to protect others and avoids others asking why she hasn't got a mask on.

Ginogineli · 05/12/2020 08:45

my daughter also goes to cheer and doesn't have to wear a mask so seems preference by certain organisers but defo not required

ceeveebee · 05/12/2020 08:47

They didn’t need masks at first but they want them to do stunts which means they will be close contact - also we are in tier 3 so maybe that’s why too?

frozendaisy · 05/12/2020 08:48

Have you tried the bandana things?
Ours think they are ninjas in them Confused
They don't have the hooks behind the ears which might be a little better.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 05/12/2020 08:48

DS kept up with his martial arts in a mask. He said it was uncomfortable (and he did look like a sweaty mess afterwards).

DianeChambers · 05/12/2020 08:49

Can he not change to a visor?

PrayingandHoping · 05/12/2020 08:50

@Oeliilio they should not have asked him to where a mask while riding a horse. I am in the industry and the guidelines state no use of mask as even our "indoor arenas" have been classified as outdoor due to the extremely good ventilation.

I would find a good new centre. Preferably approved by an organisation that will be running to the government guidelines

epythymy · 05/12/2020 08:55

Have we all just tried, you know, not forcing children to take part in an uncomfortable, antisocial, superstitious fad which has no proof of any sort of effectiveness? Dunno. Just an idea.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 05/12/2020 09:06

@Flagsfiend

It sounds like he has an undiagnosed medical or SEND issue that causes sensory issues with masks. I teach in a secondary school and the vast majority of children have no issues whatsoever, it definitely doesn't cause them to become withdrawn or stressed. From your description he should probably be exempt from mask wearing, does he have other sensory issues such as with a scarf or helmet? Could he wear a visor? I know they aren't as effective, but one of our y7s wears one, I assume she is mask exempt and it helps show she has a reason to not have a mask but is trying her best to protect others and avoids others asking why she hasn't got a mask on.
Why on earth does not wanting to wear a mask mean that he has an undiagnosed medical condition???

Maybe he’s just a normal young lad who wants get on with normal things in a normal way?

Loads of people, young and old, hate wearing masks.

Original poster
Oeliilio · 05/12/2020 09:11

@Ginogineli I think some places have parental pressure, or are just desperate to prove themselves safe (likes Scouts, I lead in another pack and the risk assessments are insane):

@Flagsfiend I’d probably agree. He’s one of those kids that maybe mask and operate fine in the right environment (he’s home educated which helps) but can be disabled by the wrong environment. He’s never going to meet NHS criteria for assessment though realistically and he does not normally need a label as he does well in life. I am rather like him so I understand him well. I can’t give proof, and given his usual behaviour it won’t be believed I reckon either. He’s not good at rule breaking either or being the odd one out.

@PrayingandHoping it’s frustrating as it’s the only centre locally with the rule and otherwise great. They will not budge though. I think we’ll need to fine a new permanent group, annoying the others are outside.

@ceeveebee I worry this is a longer term problem than avoiding the issue until Christmas

@DianeChambers it’s anything on his face, for example goggles for swimming even for years.

@epythymy frankly the way they wear them they may as well be making the sign of the cross on entry to protect themselves instead

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 05/12/2020 09:11

Scout organisation states masks have to be worn scouts and explorers (not cubs and beavers) if indoors

PrayingandHoping · 05/12/2020 09:23

@Oeliilio go on British Equestrain and British Horse Society website and print off their guidance and give it to them. No masks required.

When you're riding a horse you are well ventilated even if in an indoor school and nowhere near anyone else.
Unless he's on a lead rein...?

Original poster
Oeliilio · 05/12/2020 09:28

@PrayingandHoping not on lead rein no. They argue it’s because the kids maybe need to be approached for safety (I’ve shared the guidance already, it just gets the owner angry. Weirdly I’ve never seen her in a mask...). Tbh they have little ones on lead rein in masks too, 3/4 yr olds. I couldn’t allow that. DS said during trotting the mask moved and it scared him moving towards his eyes (it fits fine) and he panicked as he got a little out of breath. I relate, I did a long sprint for the bus recently and was borderline suddenly panicking with the warm air under the mask making me feel like I couldn’t catch my breath. I normally run and I’m fairly fit, never felt it before but by chest was heaving. I get is sensory- but it still happened

OP posts:
Original poster
Oeliilio · 05/12/2020 09:29

@ineedaholidaynow I know the scouts association insist. My pack have so far managed it by being outside or for sports meets.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oeliilio · 05/12/2020 09:30

@PrayingandHoping as ‘indoors’ go it’s not very indoors. Roof and two walls with a very very high roof and a huge arena. Environmentally I can’t see it’s different to outdoors

OP posts:
AlexaShutUp · 05/12/2020 09:35

My dd is older (15) but I wish they would do this at her activities!

DuchenneParent · 05/12/2020 09:37

My son's piano lessons went back with masks and he was very quiet and shy wearing a mask compared to normal. The teacher suggested he took it off after a while. It might be that the activities aren't as strict about it behind closed doors...

PrayingandHoping · 05/12/2020 09:53

@Oeliilio as I say "indoor arenas" back in the summer for officially classified as outdoor areas. By government

Face mask while riding a horse is dangerous. If it was to move, a skilled rider could hopefully sort it, but with the added risk of a horse who may not be predictable.

They are ridiculous. I wouldn't be choosing to ride there under any circumstances

If there was an accident.... they are opening themselves up wide with their insurers going's against industry guidelines

Flagsfiend · 05/12/2020 09:56

@alectrevelyan006 the OP stated her DS would freeze up, become withdrawn and stressed when wearing a mask, this is different to simply not wanting to wear one. Most people who don't like wearing masks may find them uncomfortable or that they hinder communication, it shouldn't lead to freezing up or high anxiety to the point they can't function - if it does then they should be medically exempt.

CarrieBlue · 05/12/2020 10:05

@epythymy - except there is.

www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-02801-8

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2020-07-08-oxford-covid-19-study-face-masks-and-coverings-work-act-now#

OP - there are provisions for exemptions for mask wearing, speak to the organisers.

FWIW my children have no problem with mask wearing where necessary - they haven’t had to wear them for their (outdoor) sport or indoor dance. If they ever get back to f2f scouting then they’ll be fine with wearing one, but I’m sure there will be others who can’t who will be accommodated.

epythymy · 05/12/2020 20:04

[quote CarrieBlue]@epythymy - except there is.

www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-02801-8

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2020-07-08-oxford-covid-19-study-face-masks-and-coverings-work-act-now#

OP - there are provisions for exemptions for mask wearing, speak to the organisers.

FWIW my children have no problem with mask wearing where necessary - they haven’t had to wear them for their (outdoor) sport or indoor dance. If they ever get back to f2f scouting then they’ll be fine with wearing one, but I’m sure there will be others who can’t who will be accommodated.[/quote]
Aww here we go. The "look, if we ignore the other studies about masks this one proves they work" brigade. How about the Danish mask study done more recently and done more scientifically which found no significant difference? How about the fucking evidence before our very eyes that since masks were introduced all coronavirus has done is increase?

LilyPond2 · 05/12/2020 20:16

@epythymy Carrieblue has linked to actual studies and you haven't. Unsurprising if people find her post more convincing than yours. The argument that Covid rates going up is "proof" that masks don't work is obviously nonsense, as it ignores all other variables.

CarrieBlue · 05/12/2020 20:21

Since masks were introduced there’s been far more mixing 🤔
Masks aren’t allowed in the areas most conducive to spread (secondary classrooms) do not really surprising that infection rates have risen. Maybe if masks were compulsory in classrooms for those that are able to wear them we’d see a drop in infection rates 🤔