DH barely talking to me

[birdling]

Last night at 4am my dd woke up with a terrible, croupy barky cough. This lasted until well after 7 this morning. She's had cold symptoms for few days, although no other Covid symptoms.
I had to make a decision about whether we all needed to isolate, so did what I thought was the right thing, called my work, children's school etc, booked my dd a test. My husband was asleep through all this.
He is now really cross with me for doing all this. Says that you'd have to be mad to book a test, is certain that it will be positive (because he's been reading all about false positive tests) and we'll all have to isolate for 14 days. He says I was really silly and overreacted.
So now he's barely talking to me. I already feel worried that I shouldn't have done any of this, so it's making me feel much worse.
I took my dd for the test. I only managed about 1 second in throat and up nostril, (she's only 3) so now I'm worried it will be inconclusive and she'll have to have another test. Or that he'll be right.
Please tell me I did the right thing!!!
She's still coughing intermittently, although no where near as bad as last night.
I feel really miserable.

Thank you everyone. You are making me feel a bit better.
He might speak to me voluntarily by the end of the weekend, I suppose.
I remember once, when I got my hair cut, he didn't speak to me for a week!

DH sounds like he's overreacting a bit. You did the right thing.

Bloody hell Op, didn't speak to you because you got a haircut. You have a bigger problem all around I think.
You definitely done the right thing. Stand strong with your decision.

He sounds a fucking delight.

Does he have any redeeming qualities? Sounds like you need to self isolate away from him forever, what a horrible person.

Of course you did the right thing. Your husband sounds like a controlling knob.

I wouldn't worry about it being inconclusive. I only swabbed the nose for my daughter who is 4 (well, she wanted to do it herself so I doubt it went terribly far in at all) but we still got a result, albeit negative.

You did the right thing. People like him are the reason we don’t have better control over this disease. Don’t feel guilty. He owes you an apology, not the other way around.

I remember once, when I got my hair cut, he didn't speak to me for a week!

It sounds like you have more of a problem than your DH reading a load of rubbish on the internet.

She’s probably just got a the type of croupy cough that young children frequently get- I remember of both mine ( now teens) getting them and it sounds so awful.☹️

But, you absolutely did the right thing getting her tested. Your DH is being ridiculous. Fingers crossed for a negative result.🤞

The haircut thing was a very long time ago. He's grown up a lot since .
He's mostly lovely.

The silent treatment is recognised abuse op...

@birdling you definitely did the right thing. People taking your husband’s approach are the reason this is spreading. Feel concerned that your DH didn’t speak to you for a week due to you having your haircut?! What was the context?

@birdling

Thank you everyone. You are making me feel a bit better. He might speak to me voluntarily by the end of the weekend, I suppose. I remember once, when I got my hair cut, he didn't speak to me for a week!

Are you joking about how he is?

If not, he’s an absolute wankbadger. He ‘might’ speak to you ‘voluntarily’ by the end of the weekend?

On the test front, I had to do my DD, it was fucking awful and I was sure it would be inconclusive and we’d have to do it again. But results came back OK. So don’t stress.

@helloxhristmas

CV cough doesnt sound like croup, croup is so distinctive.

The fact is has gone also signals croup and it will probably come back tonight.

You did the right thing though and his logic is flawed, he didnt want you to book the test because he's sure it'll be positive? Is he worried about losing money?

If it's croup (sounds likely) you can sometimes relieve it by letting her breathe steam/warm moist air. Boil an electric kettle in her room with the lid off (supervised of course, just for a few minutes) or take her in the bathroom sit her on the floor and turn the shower on.

Older kids can sit at the table with a bowl of steaming water in front of them and a towel tent over their head and the bowl, but she's a bit young for that.

Once your DD is feeling better, I think you need to sit tour DH down and tell him that giving you the silent treatment isn’t acceptable- and that it’s recognized as a type of abuse, as a PP said. He’ll probably be shocked to hear that.

Even if he’s generally lovely, it’s unhealthy behavior and not being a good role model for your DC. My DH and I sometime avoid speaking to each other for an hour after an argument, but we never do real silent treatment, it’s not OK.

Sending support my other half I the same re COVID he’s normally very supportive and is an all round good guy but as he runs his own business (I think that’s a big part of him being anti COVID) so he does not see isolation as an option I’m dreading if me or the kids get symptoms! X

www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m1808/infographic

With a 50/50 chance of having covid and 98% specificity and accuracy (they estimate the PCR tests used have this based on PHE evaluation) there is a 1/100 chance of false positive. If your child does get a positive then it is more likely to be true.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/898437/Evaluation__of_sensitivity_and_specificity_of_4_commercially_available_SARS-CoV-2_antibody_immunoassays.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj3iNKVvrTtAhUSXRUIHbYfDE0QFjACegQIChAC&usg=AOvVaw1ZJNaQOboiyBW2r4YPKzeG" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/898437/Evaluation__of_sensitivity_and_specificity_of_4_commercially_available_SARS-CoV-2_antibody_immunoassays.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj3iNKVvrTtAhUSXRUIHbYfDE0QFjACegQIChAC&usg=AOvVaw1ZJNaQOboiyBW2r4YPKzeG

We are now on episode 6 of isolation since this started due to Ds having a temperature. Three children missing school and I am missing work. We have had positive cases in all three schools and at my work.

This can't be helped as this is common for children at this time of year and both your DH and his work just have to lump it.

2bazooks steam used to be a home treatment for croup but it’s no longer advised - NHS earn against it: www.nhs.uk/conditions/croup/

I've had 12 tests, dd1 3 and dd2 2 all negative.

You did the right thing.

“The haircut thing was a very long time ago. He's grown up a lot since”

No he hasn’t!

“He might speak to me voluntarily by the end of the weekend, I suppose”

As has already been said, this is recognised abuse

Following this with interest. Ds came up with barking cough back in March. It started as dry cough in the evening and was barking at night. We didn't send him to school although he was otherwise ok. It was five days before lockdown and we thought he would be send back home straight away. No tests available back then.

Is this perhaps because he is concerned about missing work? I think there are lot of people feeling this pressure and that they just cannot afford to miss 14 days particularly if it is not possible to WFH, won't get paid, self employed or if you have an employer who is not understanding. This does not excuse his behaviour towards you but it might explain it.

...what was his issue with the haircut? You know that’s not normal right?