SAHM of toddlers - how are you coping?

[HannahS99]

It’s hit me today that after lockdown 2 ends not very much is going to change. We are in tier 3 area so nothing much is opening. Even if we eventually get in to tier 1 there will likely be no toddler groups (or none without a huge waiting list). There isn’t much to do except go to a freezing cold park by myself Every Single Day. Even if the shops and cafes open etc in tier 2/1 - toddler will not want to do that. I don’t know anyone with kids the same age and we have no family nearby.

It’s getting harder and harder spending all day everyday alone. OH works long hours so I maybe see him for an hour before bed each day.

What are others doing? How are you coping?

Everyone seems excited lockdown is ending and things will be getting better, but I don’t see anything changing for me at all

I should say I know one lady with a baby and we sometimes go for a walk, but she refuses to go to the playground (fear of germs etc) and my toddler will not sit in the pram for too long so it doesn’t really work out

I am very very tired. I'm just taking it day by day. My husband works crazy hours too, it's hard. I try to take her out every day to the park or for a walk, we meet a friend with a kid the same age once a week, and go for a walk with another friend once a week. we have far more screen time than I would like, but what can you do? I try to have a routine for her and plan several activities every day.

My child is a little older-3- and does the odd nursery day, but the other days are hard. Tier 2 here, soft plays are thankfully opening, I’ve been online today and bought tickets across a couple before schools let out

Hanging in there, just about. I’ve been a sahm for 10 years but this has just been unreal. We’re in a tier 3 area too. I was feeling in despair when I realised we’re still pretty much stuck in lockdown. Thankfully, my son’s Music with Mummy class is going to start again. For 3 weeks on a Friday I have something to do with him, I’m so happy.

But yeah, trying to home educate my eldest when all the home ed meets are off and he can’t see his friends much is getting to us. My FIL’s health has massively deteriorated in lockdown too, so when DH isn’t working he’s part time carer to his dad. Felt like I was reaching boiling point last week but having a baby group on Friday and focussing on Christmas is giving me some relief. I really feel for SAHP with toddlers. I’ve found it so much harder than being in this situation with my older children

Badly to be honest. I have two at school and a toddler. Despite 112 cases per 100k we will be going into tier 3 tomorrow.
The only way my toddler can legally socialise indoors with other children his age is if I pay £60 a day for nursery. I can’t do that as I’ve been made redundant.
Everyone I know with similar aged children works full time so we can’t even meet outdoors for walks.
I cry most days.

Oh and no toddler groups have restarted in my area since they closed in March, as the venues they used have remained closed.

I am finding it awful! I've got a 2 week old, we've just moved to a new area. my older children are in an internet school as we have an 18yr old who is ECV who was told again to shield by his consultant. I can't meet anyone and don't know anyone. My parents live over 300miles away and have shut themselves away until there is a vaccine. I'm bored and lonely and now it's Winter I'm basically stuck inside too. I have severe Raynauds so never cope with Winter well and would usually take the children to more indoor type things like the trampoline park and bowling. I'm so bleeping angry with the government that at the beginning of July we had almost got down to zero cases and then loads of people were allowed to go on holiday and students allowed a free for all (I have one at uni - lives at home - and the 18yr olds friends have gone - so I'm well aware of what has actually been going on). Add in the schools and now we're back nearly to square one!!! At the beginning of all of this I was very matter of fact and "get on with it attitude" now my mental health is really suffering and the vaccine can't come in soon enough!

It's so hard with a toddler at the moment.

I found lockdown 1 easier because of the lovely weather and big sister was home as well.

But now were just sat at home watching cbeebies all day. My DS doesn't mind. He's quite happy to walk his sister to school then come home and cuddle up on the sofa. But its driving me slightly nuts. I really crave adult company.

He's booked in to start preschool the day after his 2nd birthday and I'm sure it will do him the power of good.

I really just want to go and have coffee and cake and gossip inside with some of my friends.

Do you have a garden?
Some garden toys might be easier for Xmas than going to the park every time as closer for you to get warmed up, and maybe 20 min quick stints several times per day to wear their energy off. Slide, swing, trampoline, play cars etc

Mine is only crawling age, but I’m sure he will be bored of just my face by next summer!

I am very depressed. I have cried on and off today. I’m so unbelievably lonely and I feel like I’m just existing. I spoke to my GP earlier this year who was very stiff upper lip and although she said it was very hard and was sympathetic she basically told me that mental health services are stretched to the max (which I completely understand) and that I’d need to just try my best to get on with it.

It's not easy but I'm coping. No toddler groups since March so the whole lockdown situation makes bugger all difference to us personally!

I totally feel the same as all of the above especially ‘always behind the curve’

Yes for £50 a day my toddler can meet other children. What an absolute joke!!

This seems to be going on forever, we were in tier 2 about 3 days after rule of 6 was introduced everywhere else so basically been on our own all year apart from a couple of weeks during the summer holidays.

I have older kids too, thank goodness schools are open. Have to say I’m dreading the Xmas holidays, apart from Xmas day we will be on our own I think.

Really struggling, and I feel for you all!!

Let the birds sing - that’s terrible, if you need help you must go back to GP!!

Caspianberg - agree, we’ve got a small garden and toddkercwould happily play there for a while.

I’m trying to go for walks do I dong pile on the weight. She won’t really sit in the pram for more than 20mins or so now. My friends say I ‘oh but you have SO much time to exercise and lose weight’ what an absolute joke!

I'm still seeing my dm indoors and a friend with her toddler comes round. I have a 2yr old and a 11m old. And I can't mentally do it all day every day. Even the park is impossible as the 2 Yr old wants to climb the High stuff so means either baby stuck in pram or if baby in the swing. I can't chase the other one who will climb to the higest slide and inevitably get stuck!

I take my kids to the park. Meet up w others who have babies. Take a walk. Push them on swings. It’s boring w the lack of activity for sure.

Park every day - including small outdoor cafe
Meet with friends outside

No play groups now since March which is a shame
But she does do two mornings at nursery which she loves. And helps me hugely just get a break. Expensive though

I’m finding it a struggle to be honest. I love the great outdoors ordinarily but there is only so much enthusiasm I can conjure up for yet another freezing scooter ride / walk / jaunt to the playground with my toddler. I am just not feeling it now we have entered winter, but entertaining him day in day out on my own is hard too.

I've got a 3 year old, usually at nursery but it's been closed on and off for most of this year. His older brothers are at school (thankfully no bubbles bursting) and DH works long hours, although from home now. T3 tomorrow - we were before this lockdown also.

It's been crap TBH most of my friendships are fairly casual so I haven't had much contact with anyone really since this all kicked off. My weeks before the original lockdown were generally meeting friends for coffee, maybe going for a walk with someone after the school run but not the type of relationship where you make a particular effort to get together.

Just feels very groundhog day at the moment and I can't see it changing anytime soon. I don't like to moan too much as I know it's been hard for working parents, especially lone parents juggling work/childcare/home learning but I feel like at least working parents generally have some sort of adult social contact whereas I feel like I'm having a good day to have a five minute chat with someone on the school run!

I know how you feel. I have a 22 month old and I'm alone with her every morning while DC1 is at pre school.

I'm getting bored of walking round the supermarket, having a coffee outside abs going to the freezing park.

Uptoon girl agree I’m exactly the same. I had people who I was starting to get to know at toddler classes etc but not really any friends outside of them.

It’s hard because people at the park etc often either brought a friend with them so you feel like you can’t join. Or they will pull their child away if mine gets too close to theirs. My toddler is afraid of other toddlers now for this reason.

My OH still will have his sports clubs on and talk to 30-40 people a day a time work if he wants to. He says I need to just get on with things as I can’t change the situation, but I don’t think he really understands. He gets to leave the house for 10-12 hours most days, imagine!!!!

Not a mum of a toddler but I have a 9 month old and I am finding it so, so tough.
Feeling lonelier than ever and I would not wish anyone to feel like this. I cannot believe my baby was born into this and I feel so sad about it.
I go for a walk most days usually by myself. Or with another mum. Or maybea family member etc
Im already thinking Christmas will not be the joyous occasion I thought with baby's first Christmas. I won't be able to hug my family or friends. And I can already see that the new year will probably end up being another lockdown..

My day is repetitive and I am so worried my baby is bored. I'm not sure what else to do. I've got toys, books etc. But my baby sees them every single day.

So I feel your pain OP

The only way my toddler can legally socialise indoors with other children his age is if I pay £60 a day for nursery
Same here. My previous job is gone and the available jobs at present are min wage. 37.5hrs after tax pays £292 per week and nursery costs £300 per week. I would get zero help or benefits because DH earns too much. So I’d be working at a loss.

That means I’m trapped at home until DC gets 15 hours free nursery at age 3 (or until society opens up enough for higher paid jobs to be available again). Toddler groups are still closed. Other activities like visiting relatives or taking grandma out for lunch are illegal. We potter around the back yard. Drive to my parents to play on the slide in their garden and wave at them through the window. Play trains around the kitchen. Read books. Colour in. Have far too much screen time. Friends with toddlers still have their jobs and can afford nursery. Or their kids have siblings so they play happily at home. We are all by ourselves, all day every day. It’s like Groundhog Day and I am slowly going insane.

Yolo 773 - don’t worry, at 9 months all your baby needs is you and will get loads of stimulation from looking around etc. Totally rubbish situation though!

We are all by ourselves, all day every day. It’s like Groundhog Day and I am slowly going insane.

...........exactly this!!!!!!

How long are the least at risk going to be punished??!!