I have seen my mum and dad throughout lockdown as I clean for them once per week, I also go and change their bedding and do any other ad hoc stuff to help them out that they struggle with. This comes under caring duties. I maintain social distance and have not been kissing them good bye or anything like that since March.
Mum is 87 relatively healthy apart from osteoarthritis & osteoporosis and Dad is late 70's with multiple heath issues, they seem oblivious to the fact that they are in a very vulnerable group with regards to Covid. They have carried on as usual and will not be stopped from going the supermarket even though I tried to online shop for them. One week I did the online shop and even went out to the supermarket myself to replace missing items from their delivery. When I dropped them off I found out that they had already nipped to some other shops as they were bored. It is a worry but I can't physically stop them from going out.
My partner has been in hospital for over a month now (not Covid related) he is still not home but hopefully will be in the next week or so obviously he has had no visitors so is feeling quite isolated.
Yesterday when details were released of the Christmas arrangements my mum automatically assumed that she and dad would come for Christmas dinner like they have done for 25 years and was very upset when I said we may be making other plans over the festive period to ensure me and my partner both got to see our children.
I will make her and dad Christmas dinner, plate it up and take to their house so both get to enjoy have a hassle free festive dinner (she only lives 15 doors away)
Our plan is:
Existing support bubbles will count as one household - This is my single DD 24 she was living with us temporarily after the breakdown of her relationship up until 3 weeks ago. She has just moved to a flat 3 hours away in an area she is unfamiliar with, she lives alone and is currently working from home so is quite isolated. We have kept this bubble in place as she has moved in with just one suitcase and all her possessions remain up here.
Students are considered to be part of the household to which they have returned for Christmas - This is my DS 18 who is in his first term of university.
So far that means that me and DP, DD & DS are classed as one household under these temporary rules.
DP's DD 20 lives a few hours away and desperately wants to visit us on the 27th as she has been so worried about her dad in hospital, she is working a night shift Christmas Day so this is the earliest date she can get to us. We very much want her to visit.
DP's DS 25 lives with his girlfriend locally but we haven't seen him properly for a while as we live in a tier 3 region. He has been an absolute star while his dad has been in hospital, taking supplies to the hospital (which is not local, it is a specialist unit 30 miles away) I don't drive so this has been a huge support. Obviously he wants to see his dad and we really want to see him and his girlfriend over the festive period too. It would hopefully be on the same day as his sister the 27th so we could have a family meal together.
That would be our planned 3 household Christmas bubble.
DM thinks we are being unreasonable and as we wont be seeing DP's DC on Christmas day itself we should still allow her and my dad to come for dinner. I have explained that the festive 3 household bubble is fixed and should not be changed or extended. She said it is awful and this might be her last Christmas etc. I have tried to explain that DP's DC really need to see their dad especially as he has been so poorly.
As I mentioned before I will be cooking them a dinner but they will have to have it in their house so I will actually see her briefly on Christmas Day to drop it off and me and DC's will take their presents earlier in the morning for an outside door step drop off so she will get to see her grandchildren for 10 mins too from outside. I understand it's rubbish but at least it is something rather than nothing at all.
Wondering what to do for the best, I don't want to break the rules and I think my mum is being selfish putting a guilt trip on me but I suppose at 87 it could quite well be her last Christmas.