Will you see more than 2 households at Christmas?

[MummaBear4321]

My family live abroad, so we only have DHs parents and sister to see. We wont be seeing DHs GPs as to us that's too much of a risk. So we dont have any decisions to make about who to see and not see. However, DHs parents will most likely see us, their daughter, and their parents, so basically they will break the rules. I also imagine DHs sister will see her inlaws as well as her own parents and will justify it as 'how can we be expected to choose?'. I have seen lots of people on MN talking about choosing between one side of the family and the other, seeing one set of parents but not the other. Also, I see people struggling to get their head around the idea that if you see both set of parents, you are in a bubble, and none of you can see anyone else, despite both sets of parents not meeting each other.

So, my question is, will you be sticking to the 2 families, or just ignoring it and seeing who you want? Or will you just be staying at home and seeing nobody?

@Angel2702

I’d have preferred it if it was one other household at a time or rule of six if from more than 2. At least my parents could have seen us on different days. How do you pick one of your children to leave out, especially knowing it will be spring at least before you can meet again.

Your adult children tell them they are staying home because the virus is not taking 5 days off & you'd rather see them lots in the spring/summer after the vaccine has been rolled out than one day in the middle of a pandemic and flu season.

Your parents may choose to be sensible and see none of you until then.

I know I'm sounding like a grinch and I'm really not. I LOVE Christmas. Just not enough to kill people over.

However, DHs parents will most likely see us, their daughter, and their parents, so basically they will break the rules.

Well you’re breaking the rules as well by being part of this so not really appropriate for you to be judging them.

@BilboBercow

I will likely see more than 3 households. I have two step families and an aunt/cousins i'm really close to. I've stuck to the regulations all year and barely saw family and I just think that you really don't know how long you have with family.

We're also all healthy and all quite careful so it's a moderate risk.

If you've all been careful, why can't you just be careful over the WORST time for meeting up. Early next year we'll have the vaccines and then Spring/Summer. Is a few more months not worth the wait??

I get people miss people, but once they're dead it's a permanent state of affairs.

The ducking virus will LOVE Christmas!! 🙇🏻‍♀️

My usual bubble represents my entire family, so I won't find it difficult to follow the rules... DH has a huge family though, so that's a much more complicated affair. His 3 siblings are all married into big families too, so it could get very messy.

Then there's my DD16, she'll go to her Dad at some point, and his family is made up of numerous households who normally gather together for Christmas. Ugh... I'd quite like to hibernate until it's all over!

We won't be mixing indoors. Might see one or two for a distanced walk though. Mind you, DH and I are already working three of those days between us and we don't know my DD's rota yet.

@FourTeaFallOut

Does a support bubble count as one household?

Yes, but they have to agree to be in your bubble of three and not see anyone outside of it. So they can choose to be in with your household or be their own household and choose their other 2 households themselves.

So say your mum is usually in your support bubble (house hold) she can stick with that and see two households if your choosing

OR

Choose not to be in your 'household' for these 5 days and maybe (for example) see your sister & brothers family instead (providing they agree to that 'Christmas bubble' and do see their inlaws etc.

I love Christmas and the run up to it but no, absolutely not. It's one year, it's just not worth the risk. Hopefully by next year the vulnerable will all be vaccinated and next Christmas will feel like a real celebration. The rules will be there so nobody needs to spend Christmas alone, but it already feels like everyone is going to make a huge deal out of exploring them in the name of 'fairness'.

We are going to stay at home. My MIL lives alone so she is welcome to come and stay as part of our support bubble but that's it. Zoom christmas parties all round for the rest!

The problem is that people aren't understanding that their bubble of three needs to be fixed.

I've seen people say things like they're with their parents and their brother as their three households, then the brother will see his parents and his parents in law as his two households (so won't see his sibling). No! The sibling is in that bubble. He doesn't get to choose a different set of households, including one that is in another bubble. If people do that, everyone bloody household in the country could be linked to each other.

@hazelnutlatte

I have just told my parents that we are no longer going to see them for Christmas. SIL needs to come to us, as otherwise she will be alone for Christmas day, and my parents had originally said that we and SIL could come to them - so 3 households which is fine. However she also invited my brother and his family, plus mum will visit my two elderly unwell aunts (who live separately to each other) so that's 6 households total! Plus my aunts will have other family members visit them too and none of them seem to care that its breaking the rules and very unsafe so we are staying away from all of them. I understand why my parents want to do this - one of my aunts is terminally ill and this will be her last Christmas. But if they are going to take risks I am not increasing the risk to them even further.

That's a shame, but very sensible. The risk is going to be huge without adding to it.

No we won't be seeing anyone. Why go through all these restrictions and then give up?

Sticking to a bubble of three households. It’s so much better than I thought would be allowed For some. DS is currently living with inlaws and their Christmas will involve 3 households, so no room for us. And DF is locked in his nursing home, so we can't do anything that we couldn't have done under the March lockdown.

The one DH and I would be most likely to see would be my mum - our sole surviving parent, and we have no children. But she has already said that she has been so careful and hardly mixed with anybody, that she's not going to take the risk now (she's 85 with a heart condition). Big reunion at Easter, maybe.

Normally I would probably see her, but she lives 2 hours drive away. I live 40 minutes away from one of my sisters, who has 3 adult DC and a very unwell sister-in-law. God knows what they're going to do.

My other two sisters live further away, and are going to have fun working out which of their adult children they can see. One has 3 DC's the other 2, but with partners involved who have parents of their own.

Part of me thinks this is the Government giving some people exactly what they are asking for - being allowed to decide for themselves. Because there is also strong messaging around assessing risk, isolating before you see family and all of that. Scientists saying there is inevitably going to be a surge in January.

Basically, they would rather people didn't mix, but they are not going to fine you if you do.

@aphrodites

We'll be sticking to the 2. I'll be seeing my parents, my sibling is only off work for Christmas eve and Christmas and lives too far away to be able to come just for a day or two. My dh is one of 3 so he will need to sort out with his parents who they will include in their bubble.

@aphrodites

If DH's parents see you, that's their bubble completed.

You
Your parents
Your inlaws

That's 3 households.

The three households need to agree to being in the 'Christmas Bubble' and not seeing anyone else.

Yes, bubble of 4 of us, which is my parents and siblings for Xmas day dinner. Will probably see MIL too. All of us are happy with this.

That's a shame, but very sensible. The risk is going to be huge without adding to it.

(Sorry, can't work out how to bold the above quote)

The thing is though, the risks are going to be different for different people and there has to be an element of personal responsibility. The risks to a bubble which includes elderly relatives/ECV/school children/people who go to work outside the house every day is going to be very different to a bubble which doesn't include any of those individuals and, even when it does, the risks within bubbles are going to be very different based on all sorts of factors. The risk level isn't the same for everyone and so a blanket approach isn't going to work. Nobody is forced into a bubble at Christmas but if you're happy with the risks, crack on.

We'll potentially see one more household than we should, if BIL and SIL decide to visit. DP will go to his parents with them, and I'll go to mine. We wouldn't do it if there was a high risk, but we're both WFH and won't see anyone else for about 10 days before, and none of the parents will mix with anyone else either.

It'll be me, my dad and my dad's sister. All three of us live alone and I'm incredibly relieved we'll be able to spend the day together, indoors, legally.
My sister has just finished chemo, so much as we'd all love to be with her too, it isn't sensible. She lives with her partner so won't be alone and they have his family locally that they can see in a safer way.

Nope not going to be joining the madness. We are months away from a vaccine and I don't want to kill granny before we get there!

No. I'm not being an arsehole about this, but no.

I work in a large, multi ward MH setting. I have been working on site throughout the pandemic. The vast majority of people we care for have no choice about whether to be here or not, they are detained under the MHA. I have to minimise my chance of getting covid, because I have to minimise the risk of our patients, who have no choice about their being here, getting it.

I’ll take my two children to see my in-laws on the 23rd for a few hours and then my mum will be popping over on Christmas Eve. My nan is in a support bubble with us so I’ll still be able to see her as normal. My mum and in-laws have other children and grandchildren but for various reasons we will be the only ones they see.

It’s tough know what to do, you now keep hearing about Covid spreading more so now with households mixing at Christmas but then my in-laws and mum are in the 40s/early 50s and are desperate to see at least 2 of their grandchildren at Christmas. I am planning to keep us indoors isolated for a week between ds1 finished school and seeing family and we will be as careful as we can.

No. We are sticking to one household because one member is worried about potentially passing on the virus to someone in our support bubble. I'm disappointed but needs must. No point in giving in after putting in the efforts to keep everyone as safe as possible.

I get people miss people, but once they're dead it's a permanent state of affairs

I spent a normal, happy Christmas with my mum in 2017 and by 30th April 2018 we lost her to suicide. Her mental health didn't even start to decline until Mid January.

I'm not a Covid denier and normally take every precaution but the fact that death is a permanent state of affairs is the very reason I refuse to miss seeing the most important people in my life. Like I said, you have no idea how long you have with people and there are other things far more likely to kill us than Covid.

No we won’t be mixing. FIL will come round as he is single and we are his support bubble.
We will zoom my family and have Christmas in July. None of my immediate family plan to mix it’s too much hard work trying to please everyone and the virus isn’t taking Christmas off.

I do think many people are approaching this backwards.

To me it is not about what I can get away with, but rather can we do it safely.

My parents have 3 kids, we usually get together for at least one day over christmas. That ofetn also includes my SIL's mum, who is on her own.

That would be 5 households.

The issue really is, is it safe for my parents and if so how many people is sensible and safe?

My mum has already been told by her GP that she will be top of list for vaccination in January. I am considering planning a family party for end of Jan. (but then I bet restrictions won't allow it)

At least once they have had their vaccinations, I can hug my mum.

Not seeing anyone.
I rarely see my family and they’ve all formed bubbles which exclude us.
Understandably my friends will be in bubbles with their family.
To make it worse my dc is working so I’ll be home alone, for 4 out of the 5 days. Thanks to these bubbles I can’t even see anyone else.
To say I feel shit is an understatement.