Quick poll - healthy over 70's

[U8myufo]

Healthy over 70's, regardless of any relaxation in the restrictions are you taking the approach of not seeing your children / grandchildren until you receive a vaccination?

Absolutely no judgement either way from me but I just wondered how common this approach is. This is the approach my parents have taken and it's obviously what feels right for them (fair enough) and I wondered if this is quite common?

My mum (76) and inlaws (both 78) are absolutely desperate to see us/the children. We're in Scotland and in different levels at the moment but they intend seeing us over Christmas. When it's been permitted we've seen as much of them as we could as have one of dh's sisters.

My mum is back volunteering in a charity shop, attending church and meeting friends for socially distanced lunches all over the place though.

My DM is 74 and has been in our support bubble since it was allowed.. she's out shopping doing normal day to day activities since the beginning. She caught COVID last week I think from my DS - I haven't caught it. She's had a few days of feeling under the weather and now she's fine.. she won't be battering the doctors door down to get a vaccine but if/when she's invited to go I imagine she will.

DPIL are both 70 & they are very healthy & are our childcare support bubble - they look after DS two days a week & before this lockdown where doing school drop off/pickup for DD. We're planning to see them at Christmas too. They're happy to have this time with DC.

My MIL is 75, very healthy and isn't too worried about catching Covid, to be honest. My DP has already visited her a few weeks ago and stayed for a few days. She goes out regularly to the supermarket and for runs. Hopefully she'll be staying with us this Christmas. She'll definitely have the vaccine when it comes but she's not particularly worried right now.

This is the approach my parents and in laws are taking and we completely agree with it. We have seen them outside over the summer holidays. They all live 2 to 4 hours away also otherwise we would probably meet for outside walks, restrictions allowing. We certainly wouldn't go in their houses/meet indoors unless we had done a 14 day quarantine first.

The very fact that they are healthy 70 somethings means I absolutely think it's the right thing to do as it isn't worth the risk. DS is 9 though so they aren't missing out in the way they might if he was younger so it's an easier decision. Equally my parents probably only ever see him ~ 4 times a year so not that different really.

My mother is 90, very fit and healthy, had her 90th party back in August (lockdown was lifted) with all the family. She would see any of her seven grandchildren or four great grandchildren who happened to be in the area - my sister and I see her (separately) for a walk once a week. We let her make her own rules (obviously within sensible guidelines - we have only met outside).

My parents (76 and 80) let us come down in the summer but not to stay in their house.
I think my dad is hyper cautious due to issues around his having lost his dad as a child. We won’t be seeing them at Christmas as we normally do. Luckily they have faith in science so there’s a good chance we will be allowed to see them once they have been jabbed.

Thanks for all the responses. @JS87 this is pretty much identical to my situation too except my child is 4. They are 4 hours away so not possible just to pop over and sit outside for a while. I can see that it must be really difficult and worrying especially for people in this age bracket. I was just curious as to what most people are doing and how they're feeling about it. Ultimately we respect their wishes and want them to stay healthy. It was a little tough at first especially as they are happy to see my sister, but she lives close by and doesn't have a school age child so I suppose the situation is different and the risks feel different. Thanks again everyone!

My parents and in-laws are both in their 70s. My parents live nearby and we've met up outside e.g. BBQs in the garden in summer and outside walks in autumn. But we haven't met up inside with them at all (other than people nipping inside to use the loo during the summer BBQs). My in-laws live 3 hours away think and we've only seen them once since March, when they came down for DS's birthday. Again, they stayed outside other than using the loo so no inside socialising.

DM has quite bad asthma but the other 3 are all in good health given their age.

My dad is 86 and he's never stayed in. Always been out and about.

We didn't see him from March until September as I was pregnant - he was more of a risk to me with all of his galavanting!

He's been coming to stay once a month since (he lives a few hours away) and will continue to do so. He doesn't care less to be honest.

He'll be here for Christmas next. As far as he's concerned, at his aged he's outlived his life expectancy anyway so what ever happens, happens.

All my son's grandparents are mid-70s and healthy, and we haven't been indoors with them since March. Lots of walks and video calls, but it's just not worth the risk with a nursery-age child who can't socially distance.

Very much looking forward to them being vaccinated and part of his life again.

My parents have been to see the grandchildren outside. My mum has no underlying health issues but my dad does. They only see them once every few weeks but the kids have no concept of social distancing, they're too young! They don't really go anywhere else at the moment though so i think it's about the only thing keeping them going.

My parents are over 70, healthy. We live together, but trying to keep the elderly and the teenagers as separate as possible at the moment as school is not safe.

My PILs (78 & 71) are seeing us when we're able to do so. We always socially distance when we see them.

We don't have DC and both work from home though so are very low risk to them.

They may feel differently if we had DC that were in school or if we did jobs that meant we were out and about with the public.

Honestly though it's not about what other people are doing.

They are adults and entitled to make their own judgement, I don't think anyone should be putting any form of pressure on someone else who wants to safeguard their own health.

The vaccine will be along for the over 70s in the not too distant future and personally I wouldn't blame them for wanting to make sure they stay safe until it's available.

I know a 33 year old guy who died of COVID this weekend - I can't imagine the pain of losing a loved one now and knowing that if they'd just got through a few more months without catching it they'd still have years ahead of them.

My Dad’s 73 and lives alone. Still works full time and, thankfully, was considered a key worker in the spring as I would have been seriously worried for his MH if furloughed. He is livid that pubs are closed again as that is his main source of social contact.

My siblings and I are scattered but those close enough to see him have done so regularly throughout (generally within the “rules”) indoors and out. He loves seeing the kids and is totally ambivalent about the risks associated with COVID. He presents a greater “risk” to us than vice versus, I’d say!

PILs are a similar age and a bit more cautious, but still managed a foreign holiday and a fair bit of visiting over the summer. We’ve not seen them in a couple of months but that’s mainly because one of them has had a hip replacement. If Xmas meet ups are allowed they’ll be here like rats up a drainpipe!

You're absolutely right @wheresmymojo it's their decision and I wouldn't dream of putting pressure on them. Everyone has far too many pressures at the moment as things are. I just wanted to get a sense of how things are generally that's all. Thanks again I appreciate all the different responses.

My mum is 71 and has T1 diabetes and my dad 80 but healthy. They haven’t really stopped seeing my children, apart from in the first lockdown. Their choice. We’re in an area with a lower risk number (although climbing now but still low in comparison to other areas) and apart from our 3 year old ata nursery, DH works mainly from home or outdoors so I’d say we’re hopefully low risk.

I'm 62 but ECV and DH is a healthy 71.
Our DC are early 20s.
DD is a teacher in constant contact with covid. We are in a very high risk area..
I want her home for Christmas DH would rather not. The dilemma since March has been that we would not want DC to feel responsible for us dying of covid.

My parents are mid seventies. Neither will have the vaccine, nor will my 76 year old father in law. I see my mum every week. She comes to ours to see the kids.

DDad is 77.
His approach now is a six month sabbatical to give time for the vaccination.
He's moved in with me for LD and tier3 (bad numbers here) but he's confident that a bit of patience and he will be back home.

I’m not seeing mine indoors. At first they were keen but once I explained what school was like - which isn’t what they were seeing in the press - they changed their mind. And i completely agree with them.