Self isolating in the family home - WIBU?

[StonedRoses]

DW started with covid symptoms yesterday and had a swab today - awaiting results. So obviously we are all self isolating. Now following the guidance I thought it would be sensible to try and minimise contact to reduce the risk of the rest of us catching it. So I planned to move into the spare room and to try and keep apart where possible. But we’ve just had a huge argument with DW saying she feels ignored and abandoned left by herself. She really doesn’t want me to go in the spare room. I get that it’s boring and miserable but I’m only doing it to try and keep the rest of the family safe. I’m planning on doing all the cooking and such to reduce the risk to us. Her view is that we’ll probably all get it anyway so we should carry on as normal in the home.

Who is being unreasonable here?

She is.

Your DW is BU, it doesn't matter who catches what in our family, that person is shipped to the spare room and contact is minimal. Though I get where she is coming from that she feels abandoned and isolated.

Well if you've been sharing a bed with her for the last week you've probably already got it so it's a bit late and a rather crappie way to treat your wife

she's bvu and a bit selfish with regards to rest of the household, you won't all necessarily catch it.

Shes being unreasonable. The slightest hint of a cold in our house results in the other one being kicked into the spare room!

A family member had COVID and stayed in her room away from the rest of her immediate family and they all avoided catching it. So she is definitely BU!

There is a fair chance you are both infected. I would probably not have moved to the spare room, but that is probably not "in the spirit of the rules" according to some people.

It wouldn't be possible in some houses anyway as many of us don't have a spare room.

She is, turn to around and ask her why would she not want you to be protected? How loving is it to pass on disease?
Especially since people respond so differently!
She might just be a bit ill, you could end up hospitalised.

The limited evidence available seems to suggest that it is mostly spread by people once they start showing symptoms, but the previous 48 hours also carry risk of spreading it and since you've been sleeping in the same bed, it's very possible that you've already got it.

However, sharing a bed with someone is your choice. No one should force you. If you feel a bit safer keeping your distance then that's what you do.

My adult son is just a contact of a positive case and is more or less self-isolating in his own room - my daughter immediately allocated a bathroom for his sole use and when he does come into the rest of the house, he touches nothing. It's more OTT than I would have suggested but everyone is happy with it. Including my son who just wants to protect everyone.

Totally unreasonable and sounds very needy, can't she cope with her own company?

I am happily on my own in my bedroom now, no sign of COVID, but don't need to be joined at the hip to my DH all the time.

Odd that she says it's 'boring and miserable', assuming the bedroom is comfortable and she's got books, snacks, lap top or whatever it sounds like bliss .

I don't think anyone is being unreasonable really. I know there are examples where people who are covid positive have successfully isolated from people living with them but think that's probably down to early testings and symptom recognition.
If she had symptoms yesterday and you went on as normal then she's probably right that if it is covid then it's probably already spread amongst you all after all it seems to be a very contagious virus. It seems a bit late to start putting in place isolating techniques that will be successful.

We just carried on as normal when DP had covid the other week. I bad symptoms but tested negative twice - so must have been another random viral infection.
I didn't catch covid, neither did my children. We didn't do anything different at all.

She is completely, utterly unreasonable.

She is.

It's obviously very miserable for her but I think it makes sense as long as it's something you have agreed together and not something that you have dictated to her.

I think I’d agree with your view if I was in the same situation, especially if you have children. If you all end up catching it then things would be a lot more difficult than if you try and reduce that risk! Although, as others have said, the 48 hours prior to symptoms are when they’re also contagious.

I’d quite happily dictate to someone to try to protect my own health (or what’s left of it, I have M.E)

@ThisMustBeMyDream the tests aren’t 100% accurate so even though you had two negative tests, they could have been false negatives and you could still have had it. I hope you’re both feeling better now.

She sounds very childish. Anecdotally, I've heard of several examples where a partner did not catch it despite sharing a bed/ house/ living space with an infected person. Why would she want to pass it on when she has the ability to prevent it?

@sophandbridge dictated...? They are entitled to sleep in the spare room to help minimise the risk of themselves getting ill. They do not need 'permission' to put their own health first.

She is unreasonable, dh had symptoms we had seperate bathrooms and avoided each other as much as possible until tested negative

[quote LadyTiredWinterBottom2]@sophandbridge dictated...? They are entitled to sleep in the spare room to help minimise the risk of themselves getting ill. They do not need 'permission' to put their own health first.[/quote]
Of course. But there are husbands and wives out there who dictate to each other.

She is BU viral load can play a big part in how ill you get so definitely worth isolating her, not unreasonable in the slightest. We’ve always done this when one of us has been waiting for test results. Why wouldn’t you want to protect everyone and she can be looked after better if the rest of you are well.

@Humpty11 the false positive of two tests is unlikely. DP lost his sense of taste and smell, I did not. I now think I didn't have it as I recovered in a couple of days from feeling off. DP is still recovering over 2 weeks later.