How are you managing your own expectations re Christmas?

[lofthouse]

It's been and continues to be a deeply shitty year for many. I have been hanging on for a decent Christmas and seeing my family but it seems pretty unlikely - I'm really struggling with this.

DH and I both work full time, we have a 6,4 and 2 year old and the 6 year old has additional needs. As we are in England under the rule of six, we haven't really seen or done anything with anyone for two months. Work is stressful with 12 -14 hour days.

I have been holding on to seeing my parents whom in a normal wold I see once every 6-8 weeks. I have seen them once this year. They are in their 70's fit and healthy but dad has a benign lung condition which could make him more susceptible. They live in a different part of the UK 5 hours drive away. We therefore self isolated for ten days before seeing them in the summer. Planned to do it again for Christmas (now for 14 days). Looks like that won't now be allowed (or the period when it will be allowed won't give us enough time to self isolate).

I am bereft and wondering if I should take the kids out of school, so we can isolate ? I am so conscious at my parents age that we just don't know what could happen and the next time we could isolate and see them will be Summer 2021. On the other hand this would mean the kids missing all of their school Christmas activities and us missing the one activity I had booked for them at the start of the Christmas holidays.

Thanks for all your responses, super helpful to just hear that others have the same sissies and to all of those who can't see family and friends.

Our original plan was to self isolate for just under 14 days as soon as school ended - we normally do lots of activities per Christmas as it's the time of year we are all of work and school together - but we thought it would be bearable if we all knew we had my parents to visit at New Year. However, even the BBC are now reporting that we might have a 5 day window, which wouldn't give us enough time to isolate before the window closed.

I am so torn between wanting a fun break for DH and the kids and wanting to see my parents, but also wanting to protect them too.

I feel for you OP, even though we don't even know yet what the rules of guidance will be, it's obvious there are going to be no easy answers this Christmas.

Re isolating, I hope I’m wrong, because personally I’d very strongly prefer my children at school, but I suspect that schools will be shut on the 11th, at least for most children. Boris will say alas about twenty times while announcing it but find some way to make it either the fault of teachers or the public or present it as the public want hospitality etc open instead for the holiday season.

I am wondering about having my parents over for New Year instead of Christmas day. It's 12 days after the end of term, so is probably long enough for isolating to be reasonably low-risk. I've not seen them since August as I work in a school and consider myself a high-risk vector (so literally only go to school and come home again). I would never forgive myself if I passed it onto them.

All this assumes we are allowed to meet inside though - anything could happen?!

My family are on the other side of the country requiring a flight as my kids get super car sick and hate long journeys
We’ve not seen them all year, my mum, dad, niece and nephew, all my friends at home
Flights home booked in summer already cancelled so don’t have any choice really

Will be the 4 of us at home for first time ever if guidance allows might go see in laws later in day (sil, bil,dn) but pil already said they not taking the risk.

Is what it is, the kids will enjoy it anyway so us adults will just get on with it

This is such a lovely thread - everyone being really considerate. Makes such a change to posts on other boards!

DearSanta

For Christmas this year, i think it would be nice to have some snow. That way even if people can't go somewhere they can look out the window and feel chrismassy and as if 2020 is being nice at last. It would occupy the kids for two minutes too.

I have been a good girl this year, i promise.

Lots of love

RED.

We're not going to see our parents (all over 65, in good health but still in the high risk group due to age). The relaxing of rules will be about stopping people from having to break the law to see family, and the need to enforce this, rather than about any genuine reduction in risk. I think it's a very personal decision so I respect anyone that feels differently. Selfishly, I couldn't live with myself if we were asymptomatic carriers and infected them. Even if my parents felt it was worth the risk, it's not worth the risk to our mental health (me, my DH and DCs) if we had to live with the consequences of giving our parents a life changing or even fatal virus. We live in an area where rates are still high, which makes me more concerned than if I lived in an area with lower rates. I'd rather stick it out for another few months until the risk is lower due to further lockdown bringing rates down, potential vaccine etc. I feel incredibly lucky to have a family around me (me, DH and two DC) to spend Christmas with. I really feel for my friends and relatives who don't have that family unit and appreciate they will have a different perspective.

I have a couple of plans for Xmas that are dependent on varying levels of restrictions.

All our family are a two hour drive away and are vulnerable; with dd at school and me working back office NHS, we didn’t see them even when restrictions had been lifted in the summer. I just feel it’s too much risk that travels with us and too much to expect dd to give up in a year that’s already denied her so much. Her school has been amazing in making sure the kids are having a good time and it feels wrong to deny her festivities within her bubble of friends that I can’t replace.

Christmas will still be Christmas but this year it’s going to be different and I’ve taken a very stoic mindset of that’s just how it is and we need to be optimistic that next year will be better. This is a one off.

That’s us though and I appreciate others risk/benefit analysis will be different. I would prefer this lockdown not have been a wasted sacrifice though.