How are you managing your own expectations re Christmas?

[lofthouse]

It's been and continues to be a deeply shitty year for many. I have been hanging on for a decent Christmas and seeing my family but it seems pretty unlikely - I'm really struggling with this.

DH and I both work full time, we have a 6,4 and 2 year old and the 6 year old has additional needs. As we are in England under the rule of six, we haven't really seen or done anything with anyone for two months. Work is stressful with 12 -14 hour days.

I have been holding on to seeing my parents whom in a normal wold I see once every 6-8 weeks. I have seen them once this year. They are in their 70's fit and healthy but dad has a benign lung condition which could make him more susceptible. They live in a different part of the UK 5 hours drive away. We therefore self isolated for ten days before seeing them in the summer. Planned to do it again for Christmas (now for 14 days). Looks like that won't now be allowed (or the period when it will be allowed won't give us enough time to self isolate).

I am bereft and wondering if I should take the kids out of school, so we can isolate ? I am so conscious at my parents age that we just don't know what could happen and the next time we could isolate and see them will be Summer 2021. On the other hand this would mean the kids missing all of their school Christmas activities and us missing the one activity I had booked for them at the start of the Christmas holidays.

@justanotherneighinparadise

Is there the ability to take the kids ice scating/panto in the uk this year? I would assume not but maybe there is abs I didn’t know 🤔

Well I have booked ice skating twice for my children

And panto

If happens, wonderful. If doesn’t, we will do something super special instead. Even if just home.

Single parent and there isn’t a chance I’m going to let this situation spoil things for my children.

There's an article in the Observer/Guardian with various medical experts advising how we should spend Christmas - put our tree outside, and open our presents round the tree in the garden.

@emmathedilemma

definitely no skating or pantos here *@justanotherneighinparadise* ! There's a few of those winter wonderland festive light things taking place outdoors and I've even seen mention of a drive-thru Santa but that's all. I have a hotel booked for a few nights near family, I'm willing to see them outside if needed and could self-isolate before going as I'm working from home. I can not face 2 weeks home alone.

I have booked ice skating and panto.

I reckon they will be ok but we shall see

Full refund if not

If the children are keen not to miss out on things before the holidays, could you isolate as soon as possible and then have a 'Christmas Day' with your parents but towards the end of the holidays?

We have booked Hever castle Father Christmas and outdoor lights. It has still gone ahead during lockdown so I assume it should be fine, we’ve booked for Christmas week.

Lapland UK have said it is going ahead with all the activities and ice skating.

Oh I’d forgotten... I’ve also booked hever castle!

We usually have a big extended family Christmas dinner but we're assuming that we won't see family outside our household at Christmas. My family members wouldn't break the rules even if I was fine with it, they are being very cautious (despite being all under 70). DH's family are overseas so they've accepted they won't be seeing us for months yet. We live close enough to my family that we will go and drop off gifts and have a doorstep chat, but that's about it.

DD is in nursery not school, and I'd rather she stayed in nursery to have social interaction and experience all the nursery Christmas celebrations (they'll be doing a show on Zoom). I wouldn't choose to self isolate just to be able to spend a day with other family - Christmas isn't that important to us (we're not religious). We've booked Christmas theatre shows and some Santa visits during December, but I'm prepared for them to get cancelled (we'd get a refund if that happens).

I think we're reconciled to a super quiet Christmas this year.
We're in an area with a v. high rate of infection. DH and I are both keyworkers working outside the home. 2 DC at different schools. FIL is has COPD. Regardless of what Boris says we can do over Christmas, I'm not sure we're the safest household to mix with in a pandemic. We'll stick to doorstep drops this year.

Just want to see my son who's at uni. I can't manage that expectation!

Our school holiday is a few days longer than usual (break up friday 18th, go back to school Tuesday 5th after an inset day on the monday.)
We’re in the same position as you OP, parents 5 hours away and did 2-week isolation to see them over summer.
We are planning 2 weeks isolation over whole of xmas, and then my Ps are coming up for a long weekend at the end. Not great, but my DM and DD live for seeing each other, and it is better than no contact at all until next summer.

Normally only see family 2-3 times a year as both PIL and my family live 300 miles away.

We have Zoom and we are being responsible and sticking to our bubbles. Actually looking forward to not having the stress of travel and co ordinating so being quiet.

I really don't see the need for a big gathering when we have easily accessible technology to talk and see each other online.

It's DDs birthday a week before Christmas and she'll be 8, but understands it's just us this year and happy to just chat via Zoom. It's adults who make a huge fuss and children are happy to just go along with the current situation. As long as adults are responsible and don't kick up a fuss the kids won't care.

We won't have seen family in person for over a year. But we are all healthy so I don't see the urgency to see them just because it's Christmas, this is just one year.

I'm a teacher so can't isolate before Christmas so we've committed to staying put at Christmas. It'll just be me and my husband. We visited family in the summer holidays and now we most likely won't see then until there is a vaccine rollout or next summer - whichever comes first. I don't mind a quiet Christmas with my husband, but I'm really hoping I don't have to isolate due to a contact at school over the holidays, I've got plans that we'll have lots of nice walks together...

It would be horrible if teachers and support staff have to isolate based on families having big gatherings. I don't think parents even consider teachers when making their big plans

Nope, I am an HCP and so can't isolate, will be working as usual including Christmas day. We plan on visiting family over the holidays, even if it means meeting outdoors. I have covid at the moment so would hope I will be pretty low risk of bringing anyone the virus once I am recovered. Will still be cautious though!

We will be having Christmas as a household, no visiting or guests. Maybe some walks with other if the guidelines allow. After the year we’ve had I’d much rather the kids enjoyed school and nursery activities with their friends than have to isolate for two weeks. I am also very much a rule follower.
Will those who are isolating in advance to see family be isolating afterwards too, or only visiting people who have also isolated? Otherwise surely you’re creating more risk to everyone else when the kids go back to school for the sake of your Christmas.?

By not having any.

We’re just having our household, both sets of grandparents will go to child free family members instead. Their choice, they would rather be cautious and to be fair the biggest risk in our whole extended family is my children at school. We will have a perfectly nice small Christmas and zoom our relatives. We’ll probably have an unconventional Christmas meal too since we’re usually tied to turkey by others. We are planning a big family event in the summer instead. No big deal for us, I don’t get all the fuss.

We won't be visiting family so I am worried about sending DD back to school after Christmas. Concerned about all the children spreading it through the school after big family gatherings.

I guess weigh up what’s more important to and to your family.
The last week of school is usually fun but it might be different this year anyway? They don’t do much work so they will not be affected that way.
If your parents are happy to see you then I think that sounds like the best option for everyone.
Enjoy your Christmas

We d normally go see both sides of the family for a day before Christmas and this year it would have been to introduce them to our newborn son but we re not expecting that to happen now.

There's usually just 3 of us for Christmas Dinner. Just hoping DS can get home from Uni - he's in an area where the rates are now very high so likely to be in a high tier after 2nd Dec. We usually drive to see DH's family between Christmas and New Year which is a 4 hr drive so requires an overnight stay - so that won't be happening this year. MIL who is 92 says " don't know what all the fuss is about - there'll be other Christmases!" which is quite a bold statement at her age! We do have friends over for drinks on Christmas morning but that may not happen this year as one of them is undergoing Chemo. I'm just focusing on getting lovely food this year and supporting local food producers as we're all foodies.

Could you self isolate after end of term and see them for new year?

We're planning on just the four of us (me, DH, DS10 and DD9) for Christmas Day itself. DD is really excited for a Christmas just us at home. We've pencilled in Boxing Day at my DMs but will see what we're allowed. Hoping to see my 2 DSis and their families at some point if we can. Presumably separately.

It's my family's "turn" this year so no plans to see DHs large extended family as yet. We will see I guess

(SE pretty low covid rates FYI).