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Original poster

Taking kids out of school early

126 replies

Mybedislisting · 16/11/2020 20:05

Are any of you thinking about taking your kids out of school early to allow a quarantine period to see relatives at Christmas?

Usually I wouldn’t ever consider this as acceptable but FIL wants to come to us for Christmas and he has stage 4 bowel cancer.

He is just about to have a scan to see how his first lot of chemo has gone. We believe he has 12-18 months if this chemo has worked. It could legitimately be his last Christmas.

What do you think school would say? Would this absence be unauthorised?

DS is 5 so his first year at school.

OP posts:
myhobbyisouting · 17/11/2020 19:25

"It'll be the same people who argued they could go on holiday because they'll quarantine, then just not bother as it got boring and kids started complaining."

Not at all in my case. I've only ever taken my kids out of school for one day - incidentally that was the last day before Christmas too. We cancelled all holidays, we properly isolated when DS bubble burst, we followed the rules and continue to do so.

I am still taking them out for the last 4 days of term so that I can do my absolute best to ensure FIL is safe and comfortable spending Christmas with us. We will homeschool with any work the teachers want to set when I tell them of my plans for those 4 days.

Original poster
Mybedislisting · 17/11/2020 20:04

@myhobbyisouting

Have you broached the subject what school yet? If so what did they say?

Why am I so bloody nervous about this? I need to get a grip

OP posts:
Stellaris22 · 17/11/2020 20:07

I would say in your circumstances it's good to talk with your school early. That way you can sort home learning and expectations, I can't imagine they'd have an issue and would appreciate honesty and communication.

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 17/11/2020 20:21

In my case I've decided to wait until the 4th and if no announcement has been made about schools closing early I'm going to phone and speak to the head teacher. He seems like a reasonable bloke.

And I'm going to take the decision out of Its hands. It's my family, my decision. (That will not go down well)

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 17/11/2020 20:22

*OHs hands

Original poster
Mybedislisting · 17/11/2020 20:22

Yes we will wait for the 4th too

OP posts:
year5teacher · 17/11/2020 20:27

In this situation and at your DC’s age I would. Former EYFS teacher so I’m not saying foundation stage isn’t important but they will just be doing cards etc. While this is lovely for your DC, I would say your situation quite clearly warrants them missing out on the last few weeks of term. If it was a child in my class I would not judge at all but it would have to be unauthorised I think.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 17/11/2020 20:51

In your shoes, I'd do it....

myhobbyisouting · 17/11/2020 21:30

"Have you broached the subject what school yet? If so what did they say?"

No I haven't yet, waiting to see if we get any further updates first. However, the headteacher is great, very much for the families at school and her outlook is "you know your child and circumstances best".

She won't be pursuing fines for the sake of that week I'm sure

Backyard72 · 17/11/2020 21:55

I started a similar thread (though my son is 10 & mum has developed GP diagnosed depression during 1st lockdown) quite a lot of posters were up in arms saying we'd be disrespecting teachers by taking my son out a week early.

On this thread you are getting far more supportive responses! I wonder if slowly people are coming round to the sensibility of schools shutting a week earlier.

Stellaris22 · 17/11/2020 22:04

Schools absolutely should not be shut earlier!

It's encouraging people to mix unnecessarily and completely unfair on the families with work commitments that depend on term time.

People should not be mixing if they don't need to and need to stick to their current bubbles. Before I get shot down by people who haven't seen my pp: families with extreme circumstances like OP, those suffering MH issues or living alone are quite right to want family time. Those who are able to stick to their bubbles should continue to do so, I will be. Then it allows for those who need to safely meet be able to, mixing unnecessarily is hugely selfish when there are families like OP who need to.

Smallwhiterat · 17/11/2020 22:04

I can see though that if I was a teacher, with no ppe etc and no distancing (so as much chance of catching it as your child), but who say lived with someone ECV, it might be very difficult to watch a lot of parents talking about pulling their kids out to keep their own family members safe when the teacher doesn’t exactly have the same choices. Unless they are ECV themselves they’re expected to be at work. Doesn’t impact the OP and their decision, which they have to make on what’s right for them, but I can understand some staff feeling like if it’s not safe for your child to be there then see grandparents why is it safe for them to be teaching your child while potentially living with someone extremely vulnerable or with elderly parents themselves.

womanaf · 17/11/2020 22:19

Absolutely do it. They do nothing in the run up to Christmas anyhow!

(I was planning on doing same but travel restrictions mean I probably can’t.)

Stellaris22 · 17/11/2020 22:21

I'm not convinced they will be doing nothing this year, when there's so much to catch up on already.

NullcovoidNovember · 17/11/2020 22:30

.. Arf! Encouraging people to mix 😂😂 myself and the dc through schools are linked to 100s of extra people every single day! Each classmate has a family, each member of staff they come across! What a joke!

Pulling mine out means none of us would have direct contact with anyone else, and keep proper sd if we did go out for walks! I could control it.
Every day however 3 members of a 4 member family have to be exposed to 100s of others and without ppe and without sd.

NullcovoidNovember · 17/11/2020 22:32

Small, that's utterly bizzare logic and teachers with half a brain would understand that parents may feel school isn't safe but parents are trapped and can't control school safety.
However, every child who is removed is one more potential link of covid transmission that's removed.

Smallwhiterat · 17/11/2020 22:44

“Small, that's utterly bizzare logic and teachers with half a brain would understand that parents may feel school isn't safe but parents are trapped and can't control school safety.“

I’m not a teacher, the logic made perfect sense to me, but I’ll take your word for it.

Wtfdoipick · 18/11/2020 00:00

Planning on doing the same, I will talk it through properly with the school. In my case it's my father who has terminal cancer, if we spend Christmas with them then we will be completely isolating beforehand and it will not be extended family meeting up just my parents and 3 of my children, currently wfh so having very little contact other than school with anyone anyway, all extra curricular activities are online. The only risk would be school and I want to spend what is potentially the last Christmas with my parents so I need to remove that risk.

cabbageking · 18/11/2020 00:06

I am aware some schools are considering closing early for Christmas but the situation is so unclear.

Stellaris22 · 18/11/2020 07:28

I really hope they don't. Completely unfair on those who are staying in their bubbles and not mixing. And for those parents who rely on fixed school dates for work commitments and unable to take holiday whenever they feel like it.

EdnaMole · 18/11/2020 07:42

I’d agree you have to do what’s right for you in very difficult and trying circumstances and this is very much a moral maze in which we all see right and wrong slightly differently. I’m so sorry you are having to go through this and have to make such difficult decisions.
As a Y1 teacher though it does sadden me to read how little some people appear to value all the things that we are literally turning double backflips to do in the last couple of weeks of term - “just making cards, a party and maybe a Christingle” is not really how it goes!!Those things take a huuuuge amount of organising and speaking from personal experience a lot of shopping for bits and bobs with my own money! And this year will be even harder!
Slightly off topic and wrong of me to “bite” but I’m tired and grumpy!

Stellaris22 · 18/11/2020 07:56

The attitude towards teachers and support staff on some of these threads is horrible.

OP here is in difficult circumstances so understand need to take extra time out.

But the idea that teachers just stop bothering in the last few weeks is awful. I imagine older years will still be trying to catch up on what they missed and lesson planning creative and fun days will be going ahead as usual. Teachers are so un valued and I truly don't like the attitude towards them.

GlomOfNit · 18/11/2020 09:06

If I had primary-age children (one of mine is at secondary) and if we had grandparents who would be up for a family Christmas (mine live abroad in a marginally covid-safer country and the other lot haven't left their 4 hours-distant village since March) I'd do this in a flash. They break up early this year too, so you'd probably be able to manage less than a week of missed school. I doubt very much they'd miss vital education in the last week before Christmas in a primary school - we all know what that last week is like! Grin I think the only thing stopping me would be if the children were very sad about missing whatever Christmas fun they're going to be able to cobble together this year (I'm imagining that school Pantones visits are out and probably whole-school Christmas parties or dinner, too).

And I'm not usually an advocate AT ALL for taking children out of school for holidays or social reasons. But this year is different, and if I thought it would give grandparents and children a safer chance of seeing one another, damn right I'd do it.

As it is, we're having a sad and quiet Christmas, just the 4 of us. We can't drive up to PIL because it's an 8 hour round trip and we couldn't stay over there obviously, plus we'd be meeting outdoors and they would feel conflicted about that - oh god, it'd be a nightmare. And I miss my own parents horribly but they're safer where they are. We had a 'quiet' (no GPs) Christmas last year, all unknowing that it would be the same this year, and I really regret it now. Sad

GlomOfNit · 18/11/2020 09:07

That would be PANTOMIME visits, not some sort of excursion to see what on-trend colours 2021 has in store for us ... Hmm

AnnieKenneyfanclub · 18/11/2020 09:13

We took ours out for an extra week at half term. For very simmilar reasons.

To be honest we just told the school that one of the DCs had symptoms and we had to self isolate. It’s not ethical but I didn’t want to get into the whole authorised/ non authorised business. ( There is a ‘absent due to covid’ code for the register which covers most things!)

It was also not ethical for our family not to see shielding MIL before the winter.

We did homeschool for the extra week they were off, but that was more to keep us occupied than anything else.

My only worry about taking mine out again before Christmas is that they will miss all the usual fun (no actual academic work gets done the week before Christmas normally...) but I’m not sure how much of that is going to happen anyway... ( no nativity etc.)