Taking kids out of school early

[Mybedislisting]

Are any of you thinking about taking your kids out of school early to allow a quarantine period to see relatives at Christmas?

Usually I wouldn’t ever consider this as acceptable but FIL wants to come to us for Christmas and he has stage 4 bowel cancer.

He is just about to have a scan to see how his first lot of chemo has gone. We believe he has 12-18 months if this chemo has worked. It could legitimately be his last Christmas.

What do you think school would say? Would this absence be unauthorised?

DS is 5 so his first year at school.

@saraclara @JammyGeorge I’m so sorry for your losses

Dh & I are WFH so not seeing anyone. I could get super organised with the shopping also. It’s DS that’s the weak link if you see what I mean

My kids are exam aged so will be staying until the end but in your shoes I would do it in a heartbeat.

Given your FIL's diagnosis and he fact that your son is so young, I wouldn't hesistate to do it.

A lot of parents at our child's school have already been very open at their intentions to do this with their D.C. from Dec 11th.
So sorry to read your position OP- in a heartbeat I'd do this in your shoes. I hope you get the precious time you all need.
As for those banging on about education being overlooked, it's perfectly possible for learning to take place at home.

Thank you.

There is more to life than school, honestly please just do it.

We had an amazing last Christmas together, DH's bro & family came over from oz and we went to town.

We had comfort in the fact we had a lovely Christmas together, that we had that time. After she died we looked back at the photos and at times when we couldn't be together we consoled ourselves with the fact that we had that Christmas.

I hope the chemo comes back well and he has many more happy family times.

Teacher perspective here: would 100% keep him out a week. He's 5, he has plenty of time to catch up on the learning - let's be honest here, Christmas week in a school is not a time to wheel out the difficult concepts anyway.

Take him out and let him spend time with his granddad while he can.

If he is 5 I don’t think they can act on any absences until January as you aren’t compulsory school age until the term after their five.

What I would be worried about is whether two weeks is enough. If your son got it asymptomatically which seems quite common with little ones then he could pass it to you and you wouldn’t have isolated for your 14 days yet. If that makes sense.

I would be inclined to go a week earlier. If schools haven’t collapsed by then anyway.

In your position, OP, I would, of course.

I won't. One of my two year 10s has had three periods of SI since Sept due to school cases. He's been home learning for 5 out of 9 weeks. I embrace every bit of school time he can get, because the longest we've achieved is 7 days before he was sent home again. School is a luxury now and we cannot take it for granted.

My other Y10 has had one period of SI due to school cases.

This means we have had 8 weeks since Sept of our family of four not being able to go out together or being able to see my parents. I could avoid this by pulling my children out of school, but in Y10 that's a no go.

@middleager I really feel for you and your family that must be a nightmare.

Touch wood DS’s bubble hasn’t gone yet - although that is just down to luck I think

Another one saying (as a teacher) take him out. Time with family is more important than 2 weeks in school, especially at the age of 5! I would absolutely lie and say you have to self isolate. The crappy system that often doesn’t allow headteachers to bypass referring absences for fines and the shit government that have put vulnerable families with children in this situation in the first place should alleviate any guilt.

Of course take him out. It makes me smile our kids will be asked about 2020 Pandemic by their grandchildren and by the reaction of most all they’ll have to recount is “yes we went to school as normal pretty much”. Give your kid some Pandemic memories to recount in 60 years 😊

Do what you want but don’t expect teachers to provide you with work - it’s your choice to do so but don’t create extra work for teachers... although this does irritate me a lot seeing as everyone is soooo desperate to keep schools open 🤷‍♀️

I would in your circumstances- especially if are genuinely not going anywhere for two weeks.

Generally, I think it's a bad idea. They need every day they can in school. And most people would struggle to not go anywhere for two wees. Like work or food shopping. To see friends. Christmas shopping. Santa visit.

I think the government may ask for schools to shut on the Tuesday rather than Friday, giving the 10 day period. It’s only a small amount of cases that incubate linger than this. I think in your shoes I’d pull out the Tuesday before (missing last 3 days) - assuming there is no active cases in the class known about Id go ahead with Christmas.

@toobusytothink We will be speaking to the teacher about how we can support our sons education if we do this.

School have WFH resources set up already so not too much overhead for them.

I’m not an irresponsible parent but these are exceptional circumstances. If FIL dies next year and we didn’t see him at Christmas I will never forgive myself.

@Loftyloft I did wonder about this and what the least period of time could be.

Closing schools generally on the Tuesday (sounds like lots of private schools have already decided) might save lives if people decide to see relatives regardless.

I don’t think I’d speak to school in advance if that is what you decide to do, as that will put them in an awkward spot with how they code the absence. Just tell them you have to isolate for 14 days as a family, which will then go down as a covid mark rather than an absence (better for their stats).

I'd probably do it, especially at 5. I work in a school and we are expecting this - we are in Scotland so no fines or repercussions bar a lower attendance percentage for that school year which doesn't really mean much in the grand scheme of things in this case.

I could have written this post OP except in my case it's my dad and my DC are slightly older but still primary.

I would do it in a heartbeat but OH is reluctant (but then it's not his dad!)

Question for those saying to tell school you're isolating due to symptoms. Wouldn't school ask you for a test result?

5 years old? Of course you should. Exceptional circumstances.

Private schools always tend to break up earlier. Ours finishes on 11th.

Do it. My mum died a couple of weeks ago and my daughter and I hadn't hugged her since she went back to school. I regret not de-registering dd from school now and prioritising school over my mums health.

I would in your circumstances. It would make sense for the government to bring the date forward for all schools. It would be difficult for businesses and parents but a longer Christmas holiday would help with the circuit breaker that they were talking about doing at half term.

"Question for those saying to tell school you're isolating due to symptoms. Wouldn't school ask you for a test result?"

Nobody has said to say the DChave symptoms. They could be isolating because a household member is awaiting a test....as for your DH I'd be overruling him on this one

When was he 5? If he’s in reception, he won’t be compulsory school age yet and you can’t be fined.

Compulsory school age is the term after the child’s fifth birthday.
School could choose to use code x (not required to attend) to code the absence, or authorise the absence, or mark it unauthorised. But you can’t be fined and there can be no repercussions for you below csa.

I would definitely do this in your shoes op.

Not attending school doesn’t mean not receiving education. My children received education in lockdown. It’s perfectly possible and doesn’t require doing a full school day.