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NHS Coronavirus information. Information from gov.uk. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have health concerns, please seek medical attention.

Related: Lockdown Learning, discuss home schooling during lockdown.

To all those who say "protect the vulnerable and let everyone else gets back to normal.
87

Confuzzlediddled · 13/11/2020 09:17

Stop talking rubbish!

My friend has lost her husband yesterday due to covid, he had underlying conditions and was shielding, hasn't left the house for months and just before Halloween his daughter tested positive after catching it at school.

He caught it from her and is now dead at 45, leaving a wife and 2 teenage children.

This is why everyone needs to do their bit, and you can't just let a deadly virus rip through and lock away the vulnerable, they have families, children who bring it home from school!!

Wear a mask, wash your hands and follow the damn rules people!!

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Someonesayroadtrip · 13/11/2020 09:20

So sorry for your loss.

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Dancingbythelightofthemoon2020 · 13/11/2020 09:25

I am just so so sorry to hear this. I agree with you as someone who is ECV with children at school. This disease is brutal.

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CrazylazyJane · 13/11/2020 09:32

@Confuzzlediddled Absolutely!

Similar situation with kids I teach. Older sister caught COVID from her school setting. It spread through the family and now 5 children have no father.

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starrynight19 · 13/11/2020 09:34

Absolutely heartbreaking, so sorry, especially for his poor daughter Sad

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Madhairday · 13/11/2020 09:37

I'm so sorry, how utterly tragic. I agree, I'm also CEV with DC at school.

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PastMyBestBeforeDate · 13/11/2020 09:44

That's tragic :(
My dd is terrified of bringing it home. I'm on the shielding list. She wears a mask all day at school because it is all she can do.

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vdbfamily · 13/11/2020 09:44

I think the problem is that the restrictions put in place around Covid are causing excess deaths from other conditions so someone else will lose their parent to a cancer that needed treating in March. I watched Hospital last night and it was all about this. Urgent surgery being cancelled and delayed for 6 months because of Covid. It is tragic when people die young, but the increase in excess deaths is not just people doing of Covid, it is people doing of other conditions because of Covid restrictions. I am sympathetic to the view that we do all we can to protect the vulnerable but we have to also consider wider health economy and also economy generally as job losses and isolation lead to mental health issues which can also be life threatening.

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Confuzzlediddled · 13/11/2020 09:46

@vdbfamily so essentially you're saying what? That he deserved to die? That his life doesn't matter? You cold hearted specimen

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PastMyBestBeforeDate · 13/11/2020 09:50

vdb of course people are dying because of restrictions on NHS treatments and that's sad too. But their dc didn't directly make them ill.
The more people follow guidance as the OP says, the quicker those deaths will be reduced too as we reduce the strain on the NHS.

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Bagelsandbrie · 13/11/2020 09:52

I am so sorry to read this. How tragic. People need to start realising that having a pre existing condition or being told to shield doesn’t mean likely to die anyway! Every COVID death is tragic, whatever the circumstances.

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midgebabe · 13/11/2020 09:57

Yes, the rouble is that people are dying from all sorts of things as well as covid

The solution isn't to ignore covid, because it's here. We can't protect the vulnerable without protecting all of society.

The only solution is to control covid

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Stradivari · 13/11/2020 09:58

Not to be inflammatory, but when you say Wear a mask, wash your hands and follow the damn rules people!! you realise you are talking about this man’s daughter? I’m presuming that she knew her father was at risk and did all she could to mitigate the circumstances, but when you say things like that you really are heaping blame upon people when they (for the most part) are doing what they can.

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Orangeblossom7777 · 13/11/2020 10:04

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's husband. However it doesn't make sense to say protecting the vulnerable doesn't work, as if he had had a vaccine then he would have been protected.

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Racoonworld · 13/11/2020 10:10

@Confuzzlediddled sorry for your friends loss. I don't think anyone means to be coldhearted. It's just there isn't a good solution, someone is always going to be negatively affected. Unfortunately people are going to die, whether it's the vulnerable if things are opened up more, or people with health conditions that aren't being diagnosed quickly enough due to lockdown. No one wants anyone to die but that's what is happening on both sides.

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Fouroclockonamarblemorning · 13/11/2020 10:16

I have followed all the rules and still managed to catch Covid. I’ve been very unwell for about six weeks now. I’m not in a vulnerable group. I can’t imagine how worrying that would be knowing your kids are going to school everyday and potentially bringing it home to you.

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FractionalGains · 13/11/2020 10:19

[quote Confuzzlediddled]@vdbfamily so essentially you're saying what? That he deserved to die? That his life doesn't matter? You cold hearted specimen[/quote]
I’m extremely sorry for his loss. I don’t agree with the shield the vulnerable approach, it simply won’t work.

I have to say that’s not even slightly what
@vdbfamily
said at all.

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msbevvy · 13/11/2020 10:22

@vdbfamily

I think the problem is that the restrictions put in place around Covid are causing excess deaths from other conditions so someone else will lose their parent to a cancer that needed treating in March. I watched Hospital last night and it was all about this. Urgent surgery being cancelled and delayed for 6 months because of Covid. It is tragic when people die young, but the increase in excess deaths is not just people doing of Covid, it is people doing of other conditions because of Covid restrictions. I am sympathetic to the view that we do all we can to protect the vulnerable but we have to also consider wider health economy and also economy generally as job losses and isolation lead to mental health issues which can also be life threatening.

They couldn't treat people with other conditions because they were overrun with covid patients needing hospital treatment.
I
'restrictions' would to help the situation and reduce the amount of covid patients allowing patients with other conditions to be treated.
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bathorshower · 13/11/2020 10:27

That's awful.

Also, 14% of hospital beds are currently occupied by Covid patients. Given that the NHS normally runs at around 95% capacity, that is going to have an impact, and in addition, patients aren't evenly spread. We have to keep numbers down if we can, else anyone who needs a bed is less likely to get it, whatever the reason they need it.

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amicissimma · 13/11/2020 10:30

It's terrible about your friend's loss. This virus is going to be in the population for a long time, whether you describe it a 'ripping through' or 'bubbling along' and the only way for any individual to avoid getting it is to totally shield.

Your friend's husband wasn't totally shielding, was he? He was isolating up to a point but your OP implies that he was still mixing with his wife and DD who weren't both isolating completely.

Those people I know who have been determined to shield have had to make a decision whether to do so alone, and to find a way to make that happen, or to do so as a family unit, finding a way to make that happen. They know they may have to keep it up for months or possibly years. Both options are very hard and come at a high price, but they chose them over risking what happened to your friend. I know one family who have refused to return their DC to school, which I don't think is a decision I would make, but it's right for them.

I think there needs to be discussion about how much we expect the public to sacrifice in terms of livelihoods, social interaction, education, health, etc, to protect those who want to avoid Covid but are not prepared to totally isolate themselves.

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GalaxyCookieCrumble · 13/11/2020 10:32

@Confuzzlediddled

Stop talking rubbish!

My friend has lost her husband yesterday due to covid, he had underlying conditions and was shielding, hasn't left the house for months and just before Halloween his daughter tested positive after catching it at school.

He caught it from her and is now dead at 45, leaving a wife and 2 teenage children.

This is why everyone needs to do their bit, and you can't just let a deadly virus rip through and lock away the vulnerable, they have families, children who bring it home from school!!

Wear a mask, wash your hands and follow the damn rules people!!

This is heartbreaking, so truly sorry for your friends loss.

I have been shielding since March all the way through because I am extremely clinically vulnerable. I really struggled sending my youngest back to school in September for this exact reason. I am a single mum, and a frontline nurse. My whole life has dramatically changed because of this. The risk of sending my son back to school,or homeschool him because if anything was to happen to me if I caught Covid, would mean I would have no one to look after my DC.

I wrote on here about it, the school were adamant I had to bring him, but the school policy clearly stated they had to support children who are, or their care givers, at risk, education at home, and that's what I have done. I don't expect everyone to stay in to protect me, as long as I can protect my children then I am happy to shield until this is over.
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GalaxyCookieCrumble · 13/11/2020 10:37

@Madhairday

I'm so sorry, how utterly tragic. I agree, I'm also CEV with DC at school.

You do have to send your DC if you are CEV, please read the Reopening of Schools guidance, the school has to provide remote education if you are at risk.
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BigCityLife · 13/11/2020 10:41

This is sad. I am sorry for your friend.

I bought 2 packs of 10 disposable masks. Wore one in co-op. A lady sprayed her till with disinfectant and i felt it hit my lungs. I had a massive coughing fit and my spit went everywhere. The masks are useless. I looked at the packet when I got home and it specified that they were not to be used as PPE. So why sell them as PPE?

It's a money making shit show.

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GalaxyCookieCrumble · 13/11/2020 10:42

@Madhairday sorry, that should of said, you do Not have to send your child.

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Jrobhatch29 · 13/11/2020 10:51

[quote Confuzzlediddled]@vdbfamily so essentially you're saying what? That he deserved to die? That his life doesn't matter? You cold hearted specimen[/quote]
I'm really sorry for your loss, but that poster didn't say anything of the sort.

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BackforGood · 13/11/2020 10:52

Don't be ridiculous @Confuzzlediddled, that isn't what @vdbfamily said at all.
She, quite rightly, raised the point that there is a very difficult balance to be had.
It is tragic that this man has died at 45, but it is equally tragic that somewhere else, another person has died too young from another, unrelated illness.
I know bereavement makes you angry, but if you start a discussion thread, people are allowed to point out there are other things to consider. That is all that was being said.

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