Is anyone else leading a nearly ' normal' life.

[Christmaspud20]

For me. Except the local theme park being closed again and things like soft play for the kids,
Nothing else is different for us.
Thankfully this time dh isn't furloughed or anything, so he's working 6 days.
We don't mooch round the shops in general. I rarely go to town as I find it stressful at the best of times.
I generally wait till I have a few things to go for and just do 1 morning and list the shops in order to get it done fast.
We don't go for meals or drinking. The last time was December for his works drinks
I shop 1 big one a week and maybe 2 small top ups, but often just 1 We just don't have the fridge space to just do the once.
I do use wilko etc for toiletries so still do that and it's walking distance
Kids are at school and pre school as normal.
My bubble is my DF who's a single parent to my dsis who is under 18, she comes round most days after college when dad's at work.
I Drive to school runs etc, so obviously traffic is near enough the same as that's the time everyone is so understandable.
I know I'm very lucky and dh could be furloughed at any point of there's not enough work for his place to keep them all on atm.
But for me the only different thing is the social interaction with others at groups etc. But I'm happy in a group chat online and be done with it.

Loads of others I know in my normal social circle is the same. Only my DM is saying how different it all is as she's furloughed.

For me, day to day is ok, but I’m missing all the things that give life colour

Can’t visit my mum and family who live in a tier 3 area (as do we, 100 miles away)

Working from home, not enjoying it as I like company (DH is at work and DS at school)

Missed a lot of planned gigs and nights away this year

Couldn’t Celebrate DHs 40th birthday or DMs 70th as planned

Can’t visit DInlaws as they are shielding.

Been missing many the day trips, soft play visits, play dates in houses we would usually have

A large amount of friends live in tier 2 areas, so we can’t socialise with them at all (despite being only a couple of miles away)

Had to put a halt to house renovations as I don’t want half done rooms when we go into lockdown again (this happened during the first lockdown: not fun)

But, while I can’t wait to get back to normal, we’ve done the best we can by taking lots of outdoor trips and play dates in the park etc

As a single parent with no support it feels pretty normal to me 🤷‍♀️ Can't ever go out much anyway. It has made me very sad to think that I am used to the kind of life that many others are struggling with or furious about. I imagine there are many other single mums who aren't finding this hard at all.

Don’t you miss your friends?
Don’t your children miss seeing their pals?

Noisy don’t get how in a basic level anybody can find this normal

DH and I seem to feel differently about it.
He's WFH but because I'm a SAHM it's not too lonely for him. He gets to come down and chat to me when he has a break. His mind is focused on his usual work things and he gets to talk to colleagues/ contacts a lot and get some variety of site visits.

But by the end of a work day he's talked out, and I'm chronically understimulated. I can't volunteer in school, had a brief window of seeing my Brownies, not engaging with Scouting as my DCs don't do zoom, and I miss running/ volunteering at parkrun. I did manage to pick up my outdoor fitness classes Sept/Oct, and they're stopped again.

I've got a weird combination of rarely being genuinely alone to get my alone time, but struggling to get enough variety of meaningful human contact. I'm a face to face person, not screens, messages or phonecalls. The school run has been fucked because I struggle with the processing when people have 2/3s of their face and voice obstructed by a mask so cope by staring at the ground rather than trying to untangle what's left of a face and voice. It's fucking horrible.

The rule of six/ exercise with one adult screws us as a family for the weekends. No legitimate bubble circumstances.

DH doesn't think it's so bad because less strands of his life are gone and his mental focus for 50 hours per week is relatively unchanged. He just notices that there's a bit less variety and social contact at the weekend, but for me it's every bloody day.

@WankPuffins didht dd go on playdates , sleepovers etc?

@ittooshallpass

As a single parent with no support it feels pretty normal to me 🤷‍♀️ Can't ever go out much anyway. It has made me very sad to think that I am used to the kind of life that many others are struggling with or furious about. I imagine there are many other single mums who aren't finding this hard at all.

I have two single friends in similar situations. But they'd both agree that things are worse now. I went for a walk with one last weekend while her DC were with her ex and she was saying how hard the DC are finding not seeing their extended family on her ex's side. She had a regular playdate/childcare arrangement with DD's best friend but that has had to end because they are shielding. Her DC have not been able to do any of their activities.

The other one was self isolating recently and she has really struggled because she couldn't send either of her DC out for a playdate even. Her DS usually comes to us for a sleepover regularly - not to help her, but because it's fun for both her DS and mine. But that hasn't happened either, obviously. Outside of self isolating, she's created a bubble with another single mum so that helps a lot, but it's still hard because her DC, like the rest, want to be able to see more people. She has to take them shopping with her, so gets to enjoy the death glares from all the people who wonder why she can't leave them at home. Etc etc.

He just notices that there's a bit less variety and social contact at the weekend, but for me it's every bloody day.

As a forced stay at home parent (I'm nearing the end of maternity leave and now wont be going back to work thanks to covid) your post really resonated.

Every single day is the same, it's like ground hog day and then come the weekend it's more of the same. Im gling bloody loopy at having nothing to do to ease the monotony.

I should have said I am mid 50s with adult dcs.Both very sociable which is their choice.I think it have different that while my mortgage is paid we still love on a modest budget with the worry like many of redundancies.I've started a daily blog on social media showing how to budget as for many this maybe the first time they have.A daily recipe with pics of food I make.is
I have found it quite rewarding to not be missing social interaction at work rather helping others.Like I said I am older though.

I’m missing dsis. She is in hospital since Wednesday and is not allowed any visits. They diagnosed her with IIH this weekend. Her diagnosis and admission is nothing to do with covid, but she can’t have visitors. This is to protect all patients I know, it don’t make it any easier when you can’t visit. She is at least getting very good care and she has said everyone has been wonderful. Especially the doctor she saw on Saturday, she couldn’t stop praising her! (When she was able to talk on the phone).

Everything else is same. I’m an intervert so I like staying indoors and got lot of actives at home for my children. Dh works for nhs so his money is same and kids go to school. I’m still on mat leave, so my view might change after January.

Sort of ish but miss holidays and travel badly. We don't go out to eat much when at home and never go to a pub or a wine bar so that is no miss. I miss being able to meet a friend for a drink or lunch. the other half is working from home and I am WFH two days a week. Miss going to the theatre or cinema. I was never one for shopping apart from food shopping. I continue to do all other shopping online and that will never change.

We are very fortunate that in terms of work/finances our (and those of our adult children) lives are normal, but we miss seeing family at the drop of a hat, socialising, watching live sport, parties, hugging friends, coffee out, museums, eating out, planning day trips and most of all travelling the world.

So, nowhere near normal really and it is sad.

Dc are still going to school and to the parks on the way home from school so still seeing friends. Sleepovers don’t happen very often anyway so not hugely missed as a handful of times a year kinda thing. The rest they are doing online gaming/Chatting and video calling anyway

@StrippedFridge

Friends! Do people not have friends any more ?

I normally see groups of friends/acquaintances a few times a week through one or more of: group run, dog walk, cycle, bootcamp class, book club, school governor meeting, meal at someone's house, pub, going to an event together.

I miss those terribly.

No not everyone has friends. Some of us are loners and never had a social life but we are content. Not everyone needs social interaction and events to live a full life.

I miss people. I miss spontaneity. I miss variety. I work from home anyway but usually get out a few times a week. I miss the casual chat outside of a meeting that you don't get online. I'm an introvert so I don't need these things daily, but I do need them in parts.

Nearly nothing has changed for us. All still working and still going to school. Due to our situation we are still seeing family. The only thing that has changed is we are not going on days out at the weekend anymore and also no extra sports clubs running either.

Absolutely nowhere near normal.
My fil with severe alzheimers has just been admitted to an assessment centre. He is in isolation for 2 weeks so is confined to his room. We are not allowed to see him and the home currently has no phone we can speak to him on and haven't set up zoom. (He is barely capable of using a phone anyway, and you can forget an ipad). Apparently he is crying a lot and trying to escape (shuffling on his backside because he cant walk) because he probably thinks he's been abandoned - he doesn't understand about covid. How can anyone call that normal? It's breaking our hearts. It must have broken his.
Meanwhile I have just had to cancel a trip to visit friends in the SW, and also a girls lunch.
I have only seen one member of my family this year.
We have not had any trips to concerts, gigs, theatre, holidays etc etc.
Our Saturday night social has now gone again.
We have lost our group sports and exercise classes.
I could go on, but I will bore you as much as life bores me at the moment.
I'm very glad, op, that you are snug (and, tbh rather smug) in your little bubble.

Nope. Can't easily see parents as mum disabled so not one for walks out and about. Have a toddler - no baby groups, zoos, soft play. Can't travel to see in laws. Miss mooching in cafes, me and DH's monthly night out and lie in when early rising toddler stays with grandparents. No long weekends away with DH and DS which we did regularly. No seeing wider family - aunts, cousins, elderly nan.

Easier than the last lockdown but nothing like normal for us.

Also just miss the spontaneity of normal life and the relaxed way we moved through the world. Not dodging people in the streets, not having to wear a mask that fogs glasses etc.

I forgot I did this.

Until last week I was still seeing my friends within the guidelines.
Teen sees his mates at school. We live far from all bar one of his mates so he rarely goes out with them anyway (plus lots get in trouble and thankfully he's become more sensible and distanced himself from them out of school time)

Toddler can still come for a walk with myself and friends with under 5s ( Obvs 1 adult at a time) and walk round the country park and go in play area.

Baby knows no different.

For me Thankfully I'm not one for going out without the kids to socialise. Prob once a year. Dh and I prefer our own company and routine
We don't often get chance to be spontaneous and go out with childcare etc so that's not a biggie. We normally get a sitter in advance, which we still could being my DF or teen dsis in our bubble. But even when everything was re opened it didn't phase us, rather have a take away with a a couple of friends.

I know I'm so lucky in the fact that I'm pretty unaffected and I never take it for grated believe me.

I do miss baby and toddler groups but it's been so long I don't miss it as much as before if makes sense.

Can’t visit my mum and family who live in a tier 3 area (as do we, 100 miles away)
A large amount of friends live in tier 2 areas, so we can’t socialise with them at all (despite being only a couple of miles away)
There aren't any tier 3 or 2 areas at the moment, the whole of England is in lockdown, so nobody can see friends or family unless in a bubble, or unless meeting one on one outside.

Anyway for me like is not at all normal. I am going to work in an office, I am still mostly food shopping in person at supermarket, and I have a bubble with my DP so can spend time with him. However I miss the following:

Seeing friends - have only seen 2 friends this year
Eating out
Weekends away in the UK
Holidays abroad
Travelling in general - have only left the city I live in 4 times since March
Gigs - have had numerous cancelled this year
Theatre
Cinema
Singing in church
Going to live sports events
Seeing people at work - most of my team are still wfh
Spontaneity

@RichardMarxisinnocent. I'm in Scotland, so we still have tiers here.

Ps I think he did it

Yes. Still get a coffee but I ask
for it cooled down so can drink it whilst walking. Shops open etc. Only thing that's a pain is kids activities are closed

[quote Mammylamb]@RichardMarxisinnocent. I'm in Scotland, so we still have tiers here.

Ps I think he did it[/quote]
Apologies for being England-centric - I'm originally from Wales so really should know better.

He was definitely framed!