Can I visit DD?

[MirandaGoshawk]

Dd moved 150 miles away in August to start a new job. She has just been furloughed. So she isn't seeing anyone apart from her housemate, who is still working, and says she needs warm clothes from home. It's her birthday next week and she sounds pretty down. DH & I could drive there & back in a day but we can't find info about whether or not we're allowed to. Does anyone know?

@WankPuffins

If it was one of my children I’d be there to see them in a heartbeat.

Shoot me.

So would I. Governments and MN would not be allowed to dictate that I couldn't.

I'd be paying her a care visit anyway to get a clear picture of where she's upto with her emotional and mental health but thought I'd mention that if she's not living with someone and not already linked with someone else's household, she can link with you and you can treat each other as if you are all the same household.

Thanks peeps. I just don't want my girl to be alone on her birthday. We'd be here having a nice meal at home and a cake with her twin (also having a birthday!) and she'd be on her own. DH is yet to be convinced that we can legally go. But thanks for your comments xx

If she drives could one of you go and meet her half way at a country park or something?

It says you can AND SHOULD travel to visit an outdoor space/for caring responsibilities. It doesn’t specify how far so can’t possible be illegal can it? One persons reasonable is a Mumsnetters granny killer.

Well I for one would be going. There is no risk involved in meeting outdoors. If you're that bothered about being spotted in a group of three send DH to sit on a bench and read the paper for half an hour then swap places. I get that the rules/guidelines are there to prevent people having a big knees up but jeez.

@MirandaGoshawk

Thanks peeps. I just don't want my girl to be alone on her birthday. We'd be here having a nice meal at home and a cake with her twin (also having a birthday!) and she'd be on her own. DH is yet to be convinced that we can legally go. But thanks for your comments xx

So really you just want to go so you can see her on her birthday. I'm sorry but so many people have not been able to celebrate their birthday with family this year. It is not a good reason to visit, we are in lockdown and you can't. Send her cake in the post (along with her warm jumpers) and do a video call with her. She's old enough to realise that you can't visit.

And your DH is right, you can't legally go. Stop trying to find a loophole to suit you.

Even if it is not legal it seems very unlikely you would be found out. I'd go.

I would also go.

So really you just want to go so you can see her on her birthday. I'm sorry but so many people have not been able to celebrate their birthday with family this year. It is not a good reason to visit, we are in lockdown and you can't. Send her cake in the post (along with her warm jumpers) and do a video call with her. She's old enough to realise that you can't visit.

OP can visit. There is no law against travelling as far as you want. Provided they meet up outside. And it doesnt have to be for exercise. Just because you think its "not a good reason to visit", well I think it's a good reason and so does OP. And it's not against the rules or laws so frankly your opinion is meaningless.

@Racoonworld

And your DH is right, you can't legally go. Stop trying to find a loophole to suit you.

Which law are they breaking then? There isnt one against travelling, meeting one other person or bringing them clothes.

Essential travel only. Leave the house for food shopping, work, exercise, medical appointments and caring responsibilities.

@icecreamandcandyfloss "just courier them" are you for real? I've read some fucking vile cold hearted posts on MN but that is right up there. Congratulations.

www.gov.uk/guidance/new-national-restrictions-from-5-november

Here’s the new regulations

@MirandaGoshawk

Thanks for explaining it to me. DH doesn't think the rules are clear, about distance, for example. I have brain fog from having Covid so I couldn't get my head round it. We'll go, take her bike/warm clothes and see her socially distanced :) Thank you.

It's essential travel that is allowed. However, you can take exercise in public places and meet one person outside your household. I think you'd find it tricky to justify 150 miles, though.

@Parker231 and this would fall under caring responsibilities since the OP is concerned about her dd's MH

You are providing mental health support . See her

I think you'd find it tricky to justify 150 miles, though.
Justify to whom?

You can legally go and meet her individually outside, there are no distance restrictions. The person in my bubble is 100 miles away, I'm the only family member so he will continue to visit. It would be detrimental to his mental health if he didn't.
Also if I was worried about the mental health of my DD I wouldn't think twice about going into her house.

My 21 year old ds is at university, lives in a house share with two others, he started with that down feeling but it has progressed and he is now on Sertraline.

Go and visit your dd

@Parker231

www.gov.uk/guidance/new-national-restrictions-from-5-november

Here’s the new regulations

That's guidance. Have you read what the law says?

www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1200/pdfs/uksi_20201200_en.pdf

Here’s the legislation. I read it in conjunction with the Gov.U.K. Website

Please go. She needs you . Meet for a walk , flask of tea . Ignore players who are ridiculous. You can be a nanny and work for two families , so mixing three households , no social distancing possible when you care for babies , small children yet you can’t see your adult daughter outside . Yes makes scientific sense !!!
Bloody sick of all the nonsense.

I would 100% go. Your DD mental health is the most important thing here.