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Original poster

Someone been in house without a mask

76 replies

alwayswantchocolate · 27/10/2020 12:19

We had a tradesperson visit today to quote for some work in our lounge. I asked my DH to ensure they came in the back as they would only then have to go in that one room and that I assumed they would have to wear a face mask.

DH instead let them in the front door, they have walked through our house 4 times in total and neither DH nor the tradesperson wore a mask or stood that far apart for the 15-20 minutes they were here.

I am absolutely fuming at him. AIBU? He seems to think I'm overreacting. We're in tier 1 but know of several people locally who have tested positive locally in the last few weeks and cases are definitely rising. I feel that I've taken loads of precautions when I've had to go somewhere (which is frankly just the supermarket or chemist) and he's done that inside our home.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 27/10/2020 14:19

Until they've finished testing now long the virus stays airborne (started this month IIRC) then it's pretty sensible to wear masks indoors. I wore one when I had tradesmen in.

Original poster
alwayswantchocolate · 27/10/2020 14:20

@Makegoodchoices

You’re over reacting a bit but as you say the real issue is your husband - I suspect he feels it’s not manly to show ‘weakness’ in front of another bloke by enforcing your boundaries.

My husband would do exactly the same - looking like one of the ‘cool’ kids and not ‘making a fuss’ are deeply engrained. Hmm

Yes, I think you've hit the nail on the head. He was trying to be a cool kid and not make a fuss.
OP posts:
MJMG2015 · 27/10/2020 14:20

Does your DH fundamentally disagree with your risk assessment?

Did you ask him why he did the complete opposite of what you'd asked?

Are either of you particularly vulnerable?

I'm vulnerable & I'm being very careful. I had a bloke here to measure up for a new front door the other day. It cannot wait. I wore a mask, I was a bit surprised that he didn't but I tried to stay back from him and the door was open the whole time & after he left.

I'm debating how much I really need to get the boiler serviced.

I'm also delaying (again) other quite pressing, but not yet urgent, jobs.

Depending on the job whether I'd ask them to wear a mask or not, but I think keeping away from them & keeping the house well ventilated is important, either way.

I'd be annoyed wuth DH because it's an unnecessary risk & because if he disagrees with me I'd rather he said so than do the 'yes love' then not do it. I find that really disrespectful & dismissive.

I think if you just open the windows & wipe down any obvious contact surfaces you'll be fine (and I'm quarantine/washing shopping, so not at all blasé).

eeeyoresmiles · 27/10/2020 14:21

You're not overreacting. Yes it does hang around in the air so your dh was careless. I think some people don't seem to realise that you don't have to be actively coughing it sneezing to pass it on. If you're infected, you're breathing it out, especially if you're talking. A mask would at least catch some of the droplets. You could get your dh to read this :

elemental.medium.com/amp/p/69071e5750d2

12frogsincoats · 27/10/2020 14:23

Oh shit. You're going to die.

Original poster
alwayswantchocolate · 27/10/2020 14:24

He said he "didn't think". (I had already expressed my wishes to him).

No neither of us is knowingly vulnerable, but we know a few people who've come down with it recently in our village and, while none are vulnerable, a few have been very very poorly.

OP posts:
eeeyoresmiles · 27/10/2020 14:24

Did he have a masculinity wobble in the moment and think asking for a mask would look wimpy? I would be very pissed off, although now it's happened I would try not to actually worry about it. I would want to make sure the same thing didn't happen again though.

MJMG2015 · 27/10/2020 14:25

@12frogsincoats

Oh shit. You're going to die.
I suppose it is half term.
Sb2012 · 27/10/2020 14:27

@TicTacTwo

I had the police round during early lockdown and they didn't wear a mask which surprised me

I've not asked tradespeople to wear a mask but it's easy to socially distance in my house - eg the plumber worked in the downstairs loo which is by the front door which can be opened for ventilation plus my kids are old enough not to want to watch tradesmen work

I had the police around and they wore masks. I’m surprised that they didn’t in your house. They also made sure they SD whilst in my house. But we are in a tier 2 almost 3 area.
MJMG2015 · 27/10/2020 14:28

@alwayswantchocolate

He said he "didn't think". (I had already expressed my wishes to him).

No neither of us is knowingly vulnerable, but we know a few people who've come down with it recently in our village and, while none are vulnerable, a few have been very very poorly.

'He said he didn't think'

Tell him to 'try again' as you'd already spoken about it!

What he means is 'I don't care what you think' or 'I think you're crackers' either way he needs to own it and talk to you.

What's he doing when he's out of the house if he doesn't share your concerns/methods of protection??

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 27/10/2020 14:29

Whoops, I had a plumber in this morning and didnt cross my mind to ask him to wear a mask...!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 27/10/2020 14:31

[quote eeeyoresmiles]You're not overreacting. Yes it does hang around in the air so your dh was careless. I think some people don't seem to realise that you don't have to be actively coughing it sneezing to pass it on. If you're infected, you're breathing it out, especially if you're talking. A mask would at least catch some of the droplets. You could get your dh to read this :

elemental.medium.com/amp/p/69071e5750d2[/quote]
Exactly. Mask help as it lowers the viral load and I’d be really cross if DH didn’t follow my wishes or didn’t care about my concerns.

Yes he may not have the virus but it can’t be assumed. No wonder case numbers are going through the roof if everyone thinks no one else has it or takes preventative measures.

yawnsvillex · 27/10/2020 14:32

Quick burn the house down. HTH.

Original poster
alwayswantchocolate · 27/10/2020 14:36

"What's he doing when he's out of the house if he doesn't share your concerns/methods of protection??"

Thankfully he works from home and it's me who goes to the supermarket and chemist so he doesn't have the opportunity for more stupidity.

OP posts:
eeeyoresmiles · 27/10/2020 14:37

@SpunBodgeSquarepants

Whoops, I had a plumber in this morning and didnt cross my mind to ask him to wear a mask...!
Can I ask why it didn't even occur to you? Were you assuming that if infected he wouldn't be in danger of passing it on to you, or were you assuming that he was vanishingly unlikely to be infected? Seems like it would be one of those and I'm just interested to know which. Or is it that you don't care about becoming infected yourself? I'm not having a go, just interested.
MoirasRoses · 27/10/2020 14:40

Major overreaction, you aren’t vulnerable. Why are you so afraid? You’d pass out if you looked at my day to day activities. I sat in baby class this morning for 45 minutes without a mask on. We wear them to arrive & leave but the rules allow us to take them off during class so long as 2m apart. And I’m in tier 2, likely to shortly be in tier3. Even my clinically vulnerable mum goes out for tea at local restaurants & plays with her grandkids outdoors. We make sensible risk assessments. As life is full of. We do our bit to protect the vulnerable such as wear make, wash hands, follow the indoor rules etc but otherwise, I’m more scared of flu if I’m honest. I had it once, it was horrendous. I was in hospital for ages. But life goes on. I carried on living life despite the flu risk every year.. Covid is likely to be much less severe for my age range. This fear of Mumsnet really isn’t reflective of anyone I know in real life Confused

solidaritea · 27/10/2020 14:42

@eeeyoresmiles

I am of the same mind as SpunBob. Had a plumber in yesterday. Didn't wear a mask, didn't ask him to.

My reason? I work in a school so I'm used to seeing people without masks all day every day. I don't do the "well if I've got to do that, I'm bit going to follow any guidelines" thing, but I'm certainly more used to accepting the risk of covid than most of my office-working friends.

earthyfire · 27/10/2020 14:44

We had a BT engineer in our house last week, he never wore a mask. My husband just kept his distance and everyone else stayed in other rooms. I made sure I wiped everything down when he left. I have to admit I was pretty annoyed the engineer didn't wear a mask but perhaps he was exempt. I didn't ask.

ChalkDinosaur · 27/10/2020 14:56

If that was what you wanted (and explicitly told DH beforehand) then yanbu but it's definitely DH you should be pissed off with, not the tradespeople.

eeeyoresmiles · 27/10/2020 14:56

[quote solidaritea]@eeeyoresmiles

I am of the same mind as SpunBob. Had a plumber in yesterday. Didn't wear a mask, didn't ask him to.

My reason? I work in a school so I'm used to seeing people without masks all day every day. I don't do the "well if I've got to do that, I'm bit going to follow any guidelines" thing, but I'm certainly more used to accepting the risk of covid than most of my office-working friends.[/quote]
That is a slightly worrying attitude whilst also being completely understandable! Worrying in the sense that multiplied over many people it will lead to cases of transmission of the virus that could have been avoided. Every time we can break links in potential chains of transmission it's a good thing, and this sort of scenario with a plumber is an easy one to break. If you wear masks, if you keep the windows wide open etc, plumbers like yours are also then unlikely to take covid from houses like yours to the houses of customers who aren't working in schools. So it's really worth behaving as if you are uncomfortable with the risk, because this sort of scenario is actually not that hard to make safe. It's an easy win. I can completely understand why it doesn't feel like a big extra risk to you personally given your job though.

solidaritea · 27/10/2020 15:08

@eeeyoresmiles

I do completely see what you mean about how we should do everything we can that doesn't impact our lives much.

But I'm not going to wear a mask in my own home until someone actually gives evidence that cloth masks are likely to reduce the spread.

SueEllenMishke · 27/10/2020 15:08

The most concerning thing about this post is the way you speak about your husband.

ApricotCrush · 27/10/2020 15:10

Those who say you're overreacting are the reason the numbers are going up.

We've had our boiler serviced this morning and although he did wear a mask it still made me nervous, as we're in the vulnerable age group.

JuliaJohnston · 27/10/2020 15:14

do you think there's now a cloud of virus in your house?" - research shows it stays in the air for 3 hours. So yes I do think that is possible.
Not nearly enough to be a transmission risk once the one who's breathed it out has left the premises Confused

eeeyoresmiles · 27/10/2020 15:25

Well in this case probably you wearing a mask would not make as big a difference as you ventilating your house thoroughly to change the air before the plumber comes, cleaning all surfaces they might have to touch, and keeping your distance. The house is already full of aerosols breathed out by you, unless you dilute them by opening all the windows for a bit first. Either way, a short visit from a plumber is the low hanging fruit of covid prevention - neither as difficult as getting say a classroom covid safe(r), nor as traumatic as not hugging family. But if you successfully set things up so that, even if one of you is infected, transmission wouldn't happen, that's a big win.