Am I the only one who’s life has changed for the better the last 6 months.

[Snugglesandsmiles25]

I really struggle as I have literally nothing in common with my closest friends regarding this. My daughter ( shielding list ) is still not at school from medical advice, we are still not going to inside busy places etc but my god the last 6 months has been eye opening.
We have played games more than we ever did before, we have danced, baked and sang. We have had all non emergency appointments over the phone without the drama of transport and long waiting times. Have had some essential appointments and treatment. My daughter the past 6 years has spent every winter in hospital our average time in hospital is probably 65 percent be 45 percent at home. It’s now nearly November and we have had 3 admissions since March 2 routine which were for 2 days and 7 days and one emergency which was 3 days. We have never ever been at home as much. She has been so healthy this year one cold after attempting school for 3 days after lockdown with a fever ( the emergency admission that was 3 days )
Other than that I have never seen her so well, we have never had so much freedom. We may even successfully have her Xmas and birthday at home this year if it continues.
I have learned so much about money and how much I usually waste on things that are not needed. Because everyone else was in lockdown or restrictions since we actually heard from people more who are normally so busy with their lives. We spoke to family we hardly ever speak to, friends were all of a sudden wanting to zoom more.
I have just ordered our Xmas decorations it will just be the 2 of us but we are so excited for a potentially great winter of us in our own home.
I know this unique but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it because no one really understands.
🤣

Haha that was our only downside of shielding was not getting any fresh air but I think in a way it probably hit us less hard.

We didn’t have a job to lose ( lost my career years ago ) we are used to long periods of isolation and so it probably was easier for us to adjust in a sense.

In a perversely reverse way, our lifestyle hasn't changed much, we have always been isolated because of my ds complex and medical condition (vulnerable category but complex and progressive disability, including a kind of PPE).

No family to zoom with, no one offered even a smallest token of help and the only bubble now is one activity option for my ds who is unable to keep much of social life online.

I keep in touch with distant friends mainly to see how they cope, some had covid but thankfully no hospital admissions.

Lost out financially and living off savings but the silver lining is that we both slimmed down.

You are doing well OP, have a great Christmas. We were not be doing much over and above wall to wall tv and occasional walk.

I hear you OP.

May you have many more tranquil and happy days together.

@Coyoacan

I love your attitude, OP. Your daughter is lucky to have you in her life.

I agree, she is lucky to have you!

I think no one should begrudge you your positives at all - it sounds like things are very hard for you when life is 'normal' so of course some respite from that is welcome. I do find it really annoying when people trill on about how great it's been because now they've done things they could have chosen to do all along - spent less money, had more family time, had picnics or walks or whatever. But that isn't the case for you - it has actually made things tangibly easier for you, as you've explained, and that's very different.

You don't have your troubles to find OP and it sounds like you're making the best of what I'm sure is also stressful for you.

I am naturally introverted and prior to covid I think many people would have been surprised at just how much, I hid it well. I'm finding less socialising/WFH good, but at the same time it's making me even more introverted and I don't go out unless I absolutely have to now and even dread chatting to people on the phone.

I normally dread christmas because my perfect christmas is staying at home and having very low key day but we end up having to travel hours to see relatives which I find stressful normally. I'm excited about the idea of getting to just stay at home as a family but I know many people will feel the opposite.

So glad your DD is doing so well.

Lockdown helped me with a few things.

1. Getting my finances in order for the first time in years.
2. WFH when I was only back to work from mat leave in December, while trying to get through PND. Being able to WFH, less travel time, more time at home etc really helped this year with younger DC being so young.

Weve also been approved a mortgage and I've just been promoted aswell.

I hear you OP

@JamSarnie

I am relatively lucky that I can WFH and still have my job but even with that no I don't think my life is better.

It has got smaller and everything is stressful when you go out. I have only just been able to access a dentist.

It's probably affected me less than most. I'm an introvert and much prefer WFH and lickily in a fairly secure job and i've saved a shit load of money because I haven't done anything or been anywhere since March. In normal times I work in a busy open-plan office all week and I need the weekend just to recharge. If I have a night out at the weekend, I need to take the Monday off.

However, this is not good for anyone's mental health. I've barely seen or spoke to anyone since March. I'm in the house 23 hours a day 7 days a week since March. It's not good for me but i've no desire to go anywhere because the things I enjoy socially are off limits or are just not enjoyable in this 'new normal'. I went to the pub/restaurant a few times in August and was just starting to get some confidence back to socialise and then as soon as September started it was a shitstorm again and that was that.

A friend of mine suffers from depression on and off and we'd normally catch up every month or two and have a good chat and a laugh over a few drinks at least. But she's a hermit and now she's WFH as well has barely left the house since March and didn't leave her frontdoor through lockdown. She might say her life is better because she doesn't go anywhere, but it's terrible for her mental health, in reality.

I can cope with this through winter but not through 2021.

but at the same time it's making me even more introverted and I don't go out unless I absolutely have to now and even dread chatting to people on the phone.

I fear what i'll be like when things get back to some kind of normality. The fear of going back to the open-plan office 5 days a week when i've regressed a lot socially this year. Even the thought of having a night out, when I used to always enjoy them.

Better for me too! We’ve been lucky to have jobs that haven’t been at all affected. Happy out at home just the 2 of us

Sad I can’t see my family as they are in Ireland - I’m pregnant and have decided going home for Christmas is not a good idea so staying put ! (But looking forward to a quiet London Christmas just the 2 of us for a change)

Haven’t seen my family since February and i do miss them terribly!

But il go home for maybe a month or so once the baby is here - gives me something to look forward to!

We’ve managed to save a lot cus we have had refunds from a few holidays We were meant to go on and we’ve not been going out.
In a way it’s a great time to be pregnant as I’m missing nothing 😂

Love working at home and getting to spend so much time with my husband too - we have lunch together everyday and have set up a little office and it’s nice working together every day

Lovely post op.

Lovely post, and I am really pleased that this time has allowed you and your dd some enjoyable time together.

YogaLite, that sounds rough.

Thankyou for your kindness I have my own worries about covid obviously and winter is a terrifying time for us and what we are heading in to.
However I just have really enjoyed us time and she has come on leaps and bounds which is really lovely to see.
I have had to make my self aware of having empathy for friends something I have made a conscious effort to do.
When you have been wrapped up in a rollercoaster for years sometime your empathy towards others sways take Halloween for instance I make an effort to never make sure I say to a friend who is upset her kids cant go trick or treating like well we have missed 4 daughter is fine 🤣
Because I have learned that over the years although yes compared I might not think it’s a big deal but that it’s all individual. A bit like when my friends are panicking about their child with chicken pox and they are heart broken for them it’s a similar feeling I know for them it’s horrible despite anything we have ever been through and so I have tried not to explain my feelings to my friends about lockdown.

On that note though I would actually like to say that your children over Christmas will still have an amazing time because you will adjust. I can not think of a Christmas where we were in hospital that daughter didn’t have a face of smiles and laughter and that’s what it’s about. If they are loved and with the family playing games and having a blast they honestly won’t worry about a big Xmas day out to winter wonderland etc simple can be great and I hope that you and all your families have a fantastic holiday seasons although different and find new ways to make amazing memories this year.

Snugglesandsmiles25 you say lovely things!

I hope this Xmas is a very special one for your family, with your daughter at home. Have a wonderful one!

I’m loving working from home. I’m loving being home when DD gets in from school. I’m loving spending more time together as a family.

I’m also loving that DD’s consultants have realised that actually, we don’t have to waste half a day hanging about for hospital appointments and in fact, phone consults are perfectly fine (as we’ve been trying to tell them they would be for years)

There are bits I’m not liking but on balance I’m happier with my work/life balance than ever.

@Racoonworld

Great for you. I’m guessing you don’t have any redundancy or money worries as the result of lockdown? Or close family and friends you can see?

No, instead the op gets a break from worrying about her daughters health and hopefully not having to spend more than half of winter/Christmas in hospital for the 1st time in 6 fecking years.

Good for you op, without going into all the gory detaiIs, I totally get it, and hope you and your daughter have a lovely hospital-free birthday and Christmas.

This is a lovely heartwarming thread. Thank you. On a personal level I've had a good six months too. We've taken pleasure out of little things.

Do you not also think in a weird way that it might make us feel great when things settle like things we didn’t appreciate before or didn’t realise how much they meant to us ? When we get to go back to those things how that will make us a feel ! Maybe a feeling we would never of had if this hadn’t of happened.

Op it's lovely to hear some positive story's.

It's been good for me, probably not dh.

My youngest dd may have dyslexia, we got her up several reading levels during lock down and without school support managed to really help her accadmic wise.
Without covid she would be still be so far behind. She still is behind just not as much.

I've learned so much myself about what she needs to know. So I can constructively help her.

It's also helped us on the in law front. We've been shielding safely from utter pain in the arse unpleasant in laws. It's taken massive pressure off, been a great excuse and barrier to protect us from them.

Not having to get youngest dd ready for school and into school has also been such a blessing. She's very hard to get ready and out so again having a prolonged period of not having to go anywhere really suited her.

There have been many negatives, loss of some of income, stability, worry about jobs, whilst my dear dp are already gone, I do feel for friends who are terrified about their elderly dp etc.....

Holidays cancelled... Hospital for all of us cancelled... But there has Been less frantic rush and that's been such a blessing.
It's been a gift to dd.

I would say my life has improved yes. However I'm not going to go into details as so many peoples haven't improved or have worsened that I don't really want to rub anyone's faces in the fact I'm quite happy really.
There is some stuff that is shit though and I'm not looking forward to the fact that my children's social lives will be tricky over the winter as it's now not so easy to just have a play date outside because it's getting pretty cold. But in general I'm not really affected.

I think when posting things like this it is wise to be mindful that the majority are, and so it's possibly not very kind.

Our family life has improved massively. DH has been able to work from home since March and will continue to do so, so we've saved a fortune on travel costs. We had a baby in lockdown and he has been able to spend loads of time with her which is lovely. We don't go shopping like we used to so we're saving money there.
I was worried when the schools shut but actually my kids have thrived. They bonded amazingly at home, they played together better than they had before, I took time to enjoy them and I was actually looking forward to half term because I missed them when they went back to school.
It gave me a whole new perspective as a parent and I'm grateful for the experience. The one challenge for me was not being able to see my mental health team at all but I have discovered that I'm a lot more resilient than I ever thought. I'm fully aware of how lucky we are. It has been horrendous for many people.

Your situation sounds like it was immensely stressful pre covid. I feel happy for you both!