Am I the only one who’s life has changed for the better the last 6 months.

[Snugglesandsmiles25]

I really struggle as I have literally nothing in common with my closest friends regarding this. My daughter ( shielding list ) is still not at school from medical advice, we are still not going to inside busy places etc but my god the last 6 months has been eye opening.
We have played games more than we ever did before, we have danced, baked and sang. We have had all non emergency appointments over the phone without the drama of transport and long waiting times. Have had some essential appointments and treatment. My daughter the past 6 years has spent every winter in hospital our average time in hospital is probably 65 percent be 45 percent at home. It’s now nearly November and we have had 3 admissions since March 2 routine which were for 2 days and 7 days and one emergency which was 3 days. We have never ever been at home as much. She has been so healthy this year one cold after attempting school for 3 days after lockdown with a fever ( the emergency admission that was 3 days )
Other than that I have never seen her so well, we have never had so much freedom. We may even successfully have her Xmas and birthday at home this year if it continues.
I have learned so much about money and how much I usually waste on things that are not needed. Because everyone else was in lockdown or restrictions since we actually heard from people more who are normally so busy with their lives. We spoke to family we hardly ever speak to, friends were all of a sudden wanting to zoom more.
I have just ordered our Xmas decorations it will just be the 2 of us but we are so excited for a potentially great winter of us in our own home.
I know this unique but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it because no one really understands.
🤣

I got made redundant from my part time retail job and have now got a ft job in a restaurant, which I love. I’ve already started on the management training program, where my retail job was pretty dead end.

Dh has been wfh which he much prefers, and last month he got promoted which meant a 20% pay rise.

So in financial terms we are much much better off (thousands a month 🎉

The kids have suffered more than we have, DD missed prom and GCSEs (although that may have been a positive as she ended up with better grades than anticipated). DS1 missed the social side of college and couldn’t see his gf for a couple of months. DS2 struggled with homeschooling and not seeing friends.

It’s been a mix but there are certainly positives.

I'm pleased for you.

Mine has shrunk immeasurably and not just my bank balance. I haven't been more than 30 miles since March. After July 4th I was working all the hours God sends to try and recoup some of the spring and early summer losses - an due to reduced capacity in business even when I was allowed to open there was £32,000 I couldn't turn over. That's an awful lot for a microbusiness. My social life has completely stopped, since my sports clubs and choir have been halted. I don't think singing on my own in front of a computer screen really compensates. Everything has to be organised. We can't just nip down into town for a drink in our favourite pub. If we do manage to get a table, we have to sign in and be led through the pub wearing masks. OK I get that's not the end of the world - it's just a bit shit. And I get my mum on the phone crying a lot because she's so miserable, and she's 200 miles away.

This is not meant to sound sarcastic. It's good that some people are having an ok time, as long as they recognise that most people are not.

I think it's ok to feel positive @Snugglesandsmiles25 particularly if your daughter is in better health. It's also reminds me that 'normal' life is not the same for everyone.

Although I would always choose my pre-Covid life over this one, I have found many positives in the current situation. I feel generally happier and calmer and my life is easier in many ways (although much tougher in others). However, it's difficult to say so out loud, because so many people are suffering so terribly. But I'm glad that the OP and her daughter have found a better quality of life from this ghastly pandemic and it seems as though they are not the only ones, from some of the other responses in this thread.

I love your attitude, OP. Your daughter is lucky to have you in her life.

Thing is, HesterShaw (and I'm not getting at you), your idea of a shit time and my idea of a better time than normal, sound pretty much the same.

Actually sounds like your "shit" daily life is still better than mine.

But my norm was so immensely crap that this is an improvement. Honestly, my life was so awful that I couldn't talk to people about it much even on anonymous MN – because it made people feel bad and they'd stop talking to me altogether! Having to be "fake happy" in almost all conversations over a long period of time is corrosive, and made me feel alienated from "normal" people... which in turn made my life worse.

Now that more people have (briefly) experienced being housebound or restricted, a conversation about practical daily stuff is no longer like trying to explain a bicycle to a fish.

@Snugglesandsmiles25
I’m so happy that out of this really difficult situation you and your DD have grabbed all the positives with both hands. You have been able to spend quality time with your DD and it sounds like your time at home is really precious. Feeling happy for you doesn’t detract from my sympathy for those who are suffering, but it sounds like you and your DD have been given the gift of time to spend together and I for one am thrilled for you. I really home you can enjoy Christmas at home together - what a magical present that would be.

You aren't the only one, for very different reasons my life is now great, but I know not to be too happy as it's in rather bad taste to admit that the pandemic helped me!

Anybody who begrudges you whatever happiness you have managed to find in extremely trying circumstances, is not someone whose opinion you should care about, quite frankly.

My life here has gone to shit in all the major ways you could think of (health/employment/finances etc) but I think it's lovely and actually quite cheering to hear about someone being able to take happiness from this and any "benefits" (for want of a better word) it has brought you and your DD.

I'm happy for you and your DD. I hope you get your Christmas and birthdays together at home

@balla20 exactly that - take daughters education, she was out of school for months and months at a time as she kept catching things, her attendance pre covid was less than 40 percent. However we never heard a word from the school, no work, no check ins no teacher communication etc
During lockdown when they started with see saw, home learning etc was the most work she had ever received from school and the most contact we had with senco. So her education has been miles better doesn’t mean we have better lives than everyone else right not it just means that her education and life was crapper before.

I don't think anyone could begrudge you finding this easier than normal, and being the happier for it.

Sounds lovely Snugglesandsmiles25. We've also had far fewer medical emergencies these years, after years of them and loss. It's a rough year, but it's still been our best year in a long time in so many ways - access like you've described included.

A common piece of mental health advice is having time to focus on the positives in our lives and separate time for the problems you can do something about, not the gravity problems out of our control. There has been a lot of advice going around to cut out the negatives media in our lives as they so often focus on things entirely out of our control, the worst thing to get stuck on.

Obviously in situations to help, people to remember the suffering there is in the world, that many of our worsts is still better than many others' best, but this attitude that we can't think on our positives without clarifying that we know others are dealing with negatives during this feels nasty. Like having a "friend" who can't just be happy for you. It makes maybe either they're like those friends and/or they've been ignoring the suffering that's been going on before. People lost a lot of loved ones in a short space of time and had loved ones they were unable to see before Covid. People were housebound before Covid and so little structures that have managed to be put together now were in place. Mass job losses and having careers & businesses destroyed and horrific money issues through both personal and systemic problems happened before. I've had all of those at the same time well before Covid -- and there was still positive news in the world that I could welcome.

Everyone goes through shite, there is always suffering in the world, it's good to have time to learn and think of ways to help, but people don't need to always view their lives through the worst lens.

@IWantToBeMelissaWhenIGrowUp me to ! Last year was a disaster so I am looking forward to a really calm Xmas
Have all the movies listed to watch every night in December etc
We are doing a home made decoration theme this year so making all our own tree ornaments and stuff. I am just enjoying our time without nurses and doctors ( as much as I love our team haha )

Loved reading this. Really pleased for you. I’m glad some people are better off. Long may your positive experiences continue.

OP - I’m glad you have had some good new experiences even through this tough time. I’m sure you would not wish COVID on the world despite all this - but it’s good to be thankful for whatever silver linings we can see.

@Namenic absolutely if I could send covid packing I would - she is extremely high risk so I would be absolutely ecstatic for it to vanish but I have took me lessons from the whole thing :)

Much happier. My husband worked in London commuting four hours a day. He now actually sees our children! I had a lockdown baby in May and the birth was so quick that if not for lockdown he might've missed the birth, so our maternity experience was actually better because of covid. It also means he can help out in the morning rather than being on a train at 7am so I'm more well rested with two kids under two than I was with one toddler. We're also financially better off because he isn't travelling and we aren't doing much and my mother in law constantly wants to babysit as we're in her bubble and she has nothing else to do! And all my childless friends actually have time to speak to me again and I'm not constantly left jealous of their holidays and nights out! With two under two I wasn't doing any of the fun things that have been stopped, so I've only seen the benefits!

I'm always conscious of saying how good I'm finding it for fear of offending others, so I'm glad to hear of others enjoying the benefits :-)

My life has been both. Certain areas have been better. I've saved loads more money than I could before due to not having to commute to work. I've finally been able to work from home which is something I've been envious of others in the past (although I must admit I do like going in once or twice a week)

One big positive for us is nits. We're finally nit free in this house. Before March it felt like we were always getting the condtioner and comb out (sometimes also buying treatment). As soon as we cleared the DDs heads back they would come. Well we have gone a whole half term with no little visitors. This is one big positive for us. Sorry really superficial, but you saying about your DD not bringing illnesses home reminded me mine haven't brought nits home since March now.

In other ways it is worse. I'm drowning at work and cry almost every day about it. With the current situation its hard to find other jobs too so I feel stuck, but at least I do have a job I suppose.

I'm not surprised life has got better for you- that's because life was incredibly hard for you and your dd, in and out of hospital all the time, and having a more locked down life has protected you from this in many ways. I don't see the problem in discussing the good, the bad and the ugly of coronavirus. I'm happy it's better for you and your daughter, you deserve to catch a bit of luck.

I did prefer life pre COVID but since March have spent more time with hubby, more home cooked planned meals and estimate we are nearly £1k "better off" per month as not eating out or popping out for a drink. We have missed 2 holidays so with that and the reduced expenditure we have now cleared mortgage off 3 years before its planned end and are now focusing on increasing pension pots to bring retirement forward.

It sounds like day to day life pre covid was really difficult for you, I'm glad that you and your daughter have had a little bit of respite from things.

@Snugglesandsmiles25

Thank you for posting, I'm very glad to hear your experience as I'd hope things continue well for you.

There is no one in RL to whom I can admit that life for us is way better than before. DH has limited mobility and was finding constant travel very very hard mostly because he refused to use the mobility services. Now he can't work, because he just can't travel and doesn't have to admit that he is not up to the travel anymore.

When it opens again, who knows what might happen. Maybe he won't go back. Maybe he will accept he needs to ride the 'golf buggy' at the airport. Anything might happen.

Meanwhile, I'm all set working from home and not having to wait to hear how he got on on his travels. To give you a flavour, he has fallen down at least once each time he has gone through an airport and had to rely on 'little old ladies ' to help him up. And of course suffers some considerable discomfort as a result.

As I said before, i don't know anyone else who is so much better off. It's a bit of a guilty secret. Glad to hear from you.

OP...you sound absolutely lovely and such a kind mother. It actively cheers me up to hear "happy" lockdown stories.. thank you for sharing and I really hope you have a wonderful Christmas and birthday.

It's been a double edge sword for me. I've seen my eldest DS just 3 times over lockdown and my DD not much more. They were at their 'D'F place when lockdown started and again when his town went into local lockdown (mine didn't).

On the plus side, I saved a fortune. I had to carry on working. Husband was furloughed for 3 months on full pay. I used next to no petrol (full tank lasted me 3 months instead of 3 weeks), I had no Afterschool club to pay for for youngest DS and my gym membership was suspended.

I didn't shop at all unless I picked up a few bits where I worked. I was able to clear a few small debts and have savings for the first time ever. DH also saved over £500 a month with not having to put fuel in his car for work.

It was nice for me to spend time with the husband as we work opposite hours. We had a lot of fun with PE with Joe Wicks and did ALOT of walking.