What do we think is going to happen with schools over the next 6 months?

[Starlight101]

I am not in a good place tonight. I haven’t really had anxiety before but have suffered with it over this pandemic. I am 45 and have a BMI of 45. I am desperately trying to get it down but I have a lifelong history of eating disorders and it’s hard. I’m convinced that if I get Covid I’ll be very very sick or die. I also look after my elderly parents with numerous conditions.

My 6 and 8 year old have been back at school since September and I have been scared every day. They broke up for half term last Friday and I don’t think I’ve ever felt such relief. I finally slept through the night again. I’m honestly making myself ill.

I had pinned my hopes on England also having a circuit break for a few weeks over half term so that cases would drop at bit and I might not feel quite so terrified at sending my children back a week on Monday. But it looks like that’s not happening. Our cases have doubled in a week to 155 in 100000.

What does everyone think will happen with schools? Is it worth hanging on a bit longer in the hope that they might move to blended learning or something? Should I just give up and deregister although they would be devastated. Or do I just take the risk so that can carry on at school.

I have absolutely no idea what I should do anymore. I feel so helpless.

No idea. I will recommend a ketogenic diet to you though. Eat to satiety and lose weight. Nothing not to like. If you could improve your BMI I’m sure you’d feel a lot less anxious about things.

How many cases have there been in their school? If none, then why deregister?
Good luck with your weight loss

I’d seek help for your anxiety OP, this is no way to live and it’s not fair to put this on your children and their education/ development.
Maybe look at the stats of who had died/ more severely affected by Covid etc.

I'd also recommend couch25k- definitely current MNer c25kers that started with high BMIs and have pulled their BMI down.

I bloody hope they don't. My DS needs to be at school full time for many reasons.

I think (hope) they will keep primaries open and possibly move to blended learning for secondaries as infection rates seem to be higher there.

I think primary will remain open, albeit with bubbles popping.

I think your priority should be to seek help from your GP for yourself- you have some reasons to be concerned about covid but actually making yourself ill with anxiety, being unable to sleep, having catastrophic thoughts, feeling helpless etc is not normal and you shouldn’t have to suffer that.

Google Dr Aseem Malhotra as there’s evidence that metabolic health makes a big difference to Covid outcomes and you can start to improve this within 21 days. I found him very motivational when faced with a high BMI and have already lost several stone without struggling.

Hiya I'm a secondary teacher and have anxiety and was BMI of 42 in March. Over 7 months I've got it down to 29 now. I totally get your fears, try to aim for small goals- my first goal was to get to 39.9 so I wasn't'morbidly obese' anymore. I calorie counted and just went for walks and did the wii fit as much as I could, nothing too crazy, it took a little time but came off and has been ever since, you can do this! Just tell yourself with every pound lost that means you are doing the best for yourself and your children by improving your health. I totally get all the fear etc turn it on it's head so you have control over something. Good luck 👍

@monkeytennis97

Hiya I'm a secondary teacher and have anxiety and was BMI of 42 in March. Over 7 months I've got it down to 29 now. I totally get your fears, try to aim for small goals- my first goal was to get to 39.9 so I wasn't'morbidly obese' anymore. I calorie counted and just went for walks and did the wii fit as much as I could, nothing too crazy, it took a little time but came off and has been ever since, you can do this! Just tell yourself with every pound lost that means you are doing the best for yourself and your children by improving your health. I totally get all the fear etc turn it on it's head so you have control over something. Good luck 👍

Thank you! You are inspirational!

@Starlight101 aww thank you! I'm always here for support, I totally understand. Felt rigid with fear. FWIW I think primary schools will continue as they are with bursting bubbles all over the place but I feel secondaries will move to blended learning before the end of November, just a hunch but what do I know? I lost the weight purely because I knew that schools are germ factories and my exposure of 300 plus kids a week (as well as DH also being a teacher) would potentially put me at risk (he has also lost a few stone too since March). Good luck, am always here

I truly don't think anyone will move to blended learning. I work in primary and secondary and there's no word of it anywhere

I just don't believe it would be possible to implement and the work load it would involve to part teach in person and part online would be too much to ask us to do in my opinion

Whilst I know you have some risk factors your anxiety sounds horrible to be living with. I would truly seek help for that.

I have a lot of risk factors due to chronic illnesses and I'm not bothered at all. I teach and my kids are at school every day.

I'm not saying don't worry a bit but the extent to which you describe sounds awful for you.

@Starlight101 no words of wisdom but just wanted to send some support across the Internet. I hate what this virus is doing to our anxiety levels (as if life isn’t tough enough at time’s!) and find we are all facing impossible decisions.

For the what is worth I think you should keep your kids enrolled if they would be deviated. But I know that’s easier said that done.

I agree with the poster up above, we can’t control what’s happening in the world so put your energy into what you can control.

Good luck

You could get in touch with BRTUS on Facebook.

There is an element of anxiety in there from what you've said, but it is also a difficult situation, and a lot of parents are concerned about risk.

You could of course call your GP and ask for help with the anxiety. I'm sure they could manage at least a phone consult, and see how that goes.

However, figures for children in school this week have been given from 86-89% and that's partly because of understandable parental concern in addition to isolating etc.

If your children are enjoying school so much, then I can see it's quite hard for you to take them out.

However, if you do decide to take them out temporarily, there is some support for parents (see BRTUS). Some parents are deregistering -
there is support for parents who don't want to deregister and support for people home schooling. Also advice and support re the threat of fines etc. Either way, good luck.

I hope they do move to rota days op, some places already do it and it's much nicer working safely from home and there is no extra work

Op I feel your pain. I've heard on an absolute cock up in our dc school today!

I don't know what to suggest, as other pp said trying to get in control of the weight...
I lost quite a bit over lock down and its crept back on again. But... Whilst I'm trying to tackle it again... I am upping green juices!..

After half term depending on what's happening could you perhaps just have them off with something non covid related?
For a while and then re assess? "

We are backed into a corner as parents, no competency from gov, total carnage on rules in schools and interpretations of rules, self isolating etc... We get fined for not sending them in.. If you felt stress and could support them at home, keep them in a positive lighthearted environment, keep their reading and learning ticking over?.

I hate all the uncertainty. My bmi is over 40 too and I struggle to walk far so cant easily walk it off either.

2 schools near me have closed a week early for half term. I am scared too.

Terrible advice from Hauntedhouse - do not lie to keep your kids at home. Weighing your kids with your own anxiety is far more damaging than covid is likely to be to them. Try and get some perspective.

I have never had anxiety before. It’s been a shock. I know some people suggest going to the doctor but I’m not sure what he would do. I don’t want to go on medication as I’m anxious in response to a pandemic. Surely that’s normal. And I imagine the wait list for talking therapy would be huge.

I am a supply teacher so am perfectly qualified to teach my children. One is happy at home. The other thrives in school and would miss it so much. My head and heart tells me to take them out. But it’s not like it’s going to be for a short time. It seems that the government are going to leave primary schools as they are going forward so nothing will change for 6 months at least. Cases aren’t going to dwindle right down again surely?

My parents have faced the reality that they are unlikely to survive this as they have no one to help them but me. I can’t imagine living with the guilt of passing it onto them. I don’t want them to die. The children love them so much and are missing them so much as they aren’t allowed near them. I can’t believe that my life has been reduced to this.

@Starlight101

I have never had anxiety before. It’s been a shock. I know some people suggest going to the doctor but I’m not sure what he would do. I don’t want to go on medication as I’m anxious in response to a pandemic. Surely that’s normal. And I imagine the wait list for talking therapy would be huge.

I am a supply teacher so am perfectly qualified to teach my children. One is happy at home. The other thrives in school and would miss it so much. My head and heart tells me to take them out. But it’s not like it’s going to be for a short time. It seems that the government are going to leave primary schools as they are going forward so nothing will change for 6 months at least. Cases aren’t going to dwindle right down again surely?

My parents have faced the reality that they are unlikely to survive this as they have no one to help them but me. I can’t imagine living with the guilt of passing it onto them. I don’t want them to die. The children love them so much and are missing them so much as they aren’t allowed near them. I can’t believe that my life has been reduced to this.

I too have suffered terribly with anxiety over the past 6 months when I never have before, it presented in me as physical symptoms aswell as emotional/mental symptoms. Ironically im not in the least bit worried about covid as the virus itself but that's by the by, anxiety whatever the reason is horrendous, sometimes I know I'm anxious im having palpations and feel worked up but I've no idea why. Please speak to your GP, they can help whether it's with medication or with counselling. Talking helps me massively, my GP put me on a 10 week CBT course that I do every week with one of the HCAs at the surgery over the phone, its been a real game changer for me. Please talk to someone I promise it does help. You may still want to keep your children home or even de register and thats OK, you'll feel better in yourself if you've made those decisions with a clearer frame of mind.

OP, primary school aged children are one of the lowest risk groups. I worried about DD going back but she loves school and I can honestly say that looking at the statistics for primary has calmed me down.

I think you need to address your weight first and foremost. Walking is excellent exercise and will really help you. Can you look at Couch to 5K?

I don't think you will infect your parents if you are taking so many precautions. They aren't seeing the kids, so if you are worried about them catching it from you, the kids would have to have it first then you...So the chances of the kids getting it (which are low), then of them being asymptomatic and giving it to you (which is less likely than them having symptoms) both happening is extremely low.

I feel from your posts that you sound overwhelmed and exhausted, I felt very anxious and exhausted at the peak of the pandemic. I think you need to find ways of managing this stress and anxiety, whether that is walking, music or watching comedy shows.

Good luck OP, I understand how difficult a time it is right now but we will all get through this

Another potential solution is that you don't deregister but talk to the head about keeping them home and teaching them in line with the curriculum. And then school can maybe assess them in some online way?

I'm keeping mine home, but it's an easy decision as he is 15 and is quite okay with it. It was a joint family decision (ok, us parents weighed waaaay more)

Here's part of our thought process... What we balanced:

• what will he lose?
• can we provide him with material so he won't fall behind?
• are we (=me) ready to take on the behaviour management part of actually making a teen boy study in set times and to set dates.
• made a list of what things he'll miss out on that will never ever happen.

Short list, with 0 items.

• and we are also lucky to be able to cover all subjects at this stage between the 2 of us.

And on the other side the risks:

• me (very high chance of hospitalization due to underlying issues)
• long-covid for any of us, but especially for him

@thesun - I can understand how nervous you are if you're very high risk and please don't take this question the wrong way, but I am genuinely curious- when you say there were 0 downsides to keeping your ds at home- how about interaction with his peers? Surely that is one thing that only school can really provide?

I sincerely hope they stay open, with more targeted isolating of just close contacts of cases.
I have a yr6 and a yr10 both need their education.
And both DH and I work in schools.

"Just close contacts" makes no sense though. If theyve sat for an hour in a classroom then the whole class will be at risk.

Hopefully we will stay open. We’re in a high risk area and luckily we’re not had a case in school ( that I know off school are sending updates)

Big hugs my lovely, try not worry. Xxx