AIBU not to want ds to take a test

[makingmiracles]

We’ve received a letter about random testing and ds has been selected to take part but I’m not keen at all. I understand why they are doing it but the consequence is obviously having to isolate the whole family is he tests positive. Now during lockdown when dp was furloughed i would of been happy for him to test but now we are both back at work I’m not keen at all, we scrape by as it is due to outgoings we cant reduce and having to isolate for 2 weeks will really impact our ability to pay our bills.

Obviously I know we may have to do 14days at some point if one of us had symptoms and tested positive, but already since schools went back they’ve already had several days off in sept whilst waiting for results and 2 days this week awaiting test to arrive and then possibly more days next week if we don’t get results by Monday.

I just feel like why should we open ourselves up to the possibility of 14 days isolation when we can barely afford it.

They have sent the request letter twice now, thought they would move onto someone else if I didn’t reply but will they keep sending the letter?
Annoyingly we don’t get any of the benefits you have to be on to claim the £500 isolation payment, which is unfair as we are certainly not well off, dps salary is £19kpa and mine is low as i only work relief on weekends.

And that there people, is why the virus is spreading. What a selfish attitude

@londongirl12

And that there people, is why the virus is spreading. What a selfish attitude

BJ and his irk are failing the British people and making us turn on each other.

What the OP doesn't realise actions like hers wlli head to another lockdown. Wales already has another one scheduled for next Friday.

Yanbu. If you cant afford it then don't

YANBU.

I'm financially in the same situation, and won't be getting tested because I cannot afford to self isolate.

[quote MiddleClassMother]@Blue565
Which is why they have support grants for low income families. So yes, they are being v v unreasonable [/quote]
Only for people who are already on benefits, such as UC, to top up their income.

If I self isolated, my income would drop to zero, but I still wouldn't get the £500 payment because I'm not on benefits.

It's worth noting that anyone who is working full time on minimum wage with no kids (and I think we can all agree that minimum wage = low income) is deemed to be earning too much to claim UC, so in turn they cannot claim the £500 payment.

There are many, many people for whom there are serious, genuine financial barriers to self isolation. I am one of those people.

YANBU. I highly doubt the sanctimonious replies come from people struggling to make ends meet. Empathy is generally in short supply on Mumsnet.

Your reason for not wanting to test is a bit daft, not necessarily the not wanting to test part. Basically your rather not know he was positive and infecting everyone around him, until it became more obvious and he made someone very unwell? I u der stand not testing kids based on body autonomy, or concerns that it will distress them, but I can't say I can get behind your reasoning.

Of course YANBU in the slightest to prioritise keeping a roof over your head! There will be plenty of people who can afford to take the risk who can do the research instead

Agree with this entirely. The hysteria on this thread is ridiculous. As a few rational posters have pointed out, OPs family are in exactly the same position as 99% of the population who would be unaware that they were asymptomatic due to not undergoing routine testing.

OP has already said she understands her family may have to isolate as per the rules at some point if one of them develops symptoms, which would still be at the same financial detriment to them, but for an unavoidable reason. It’s not remotely selfish to leave the random testing to another willing participant who would feel less/no financial impact

Do what you think is right OP.

The trouble on here is, we have to be super socially responsible and put everyone else above what's right for your own family.

I'll never understand why a bunch of randoms think protecting them is important to me.

For some on here, chewing your own arm off wouldn't be enough.

I wouldn’t do a swab test on a young child unless it was needed. However, for adults it is something I would encourage.

Currently as I’m mat leave I’m even thinking of just isolating for 14 days if dc get symptoms and not doing a test. Dh would just switch to wfh as that is what they made him do when he had a cough and was waiting for test results (negative).

• BJ and his irk are failing the British people and making us turn on each other.

What the OP doesn't realise actions like hers wlli head to another lockdown. Wales already has another one scheduled for next Friday*

Your first paragraph directly contradicts your second. How can you be concerned about manipulation to blame each other and then immediately heap blame on someone for doing nothing wrong.

Declining to take part in a random screening programme isn’t the same thing as declining a test for symptoms or refusing to isolate due to a contact. She’s simply opting to carry on with current measures and not increase her chances of financial hardship.

Asymptomatic cases are a fact there’s no getting around and as long as OP and her family are sticking to the national restrictions there is no compulsion for extra. Receiving an invite is random luck, declining it changes nothing.

You know you don’t have to self isolate just because he has done the invitation test, right?
You send the swab off and live your lives.

It’s only if it came back positive (unlikely) that you would have to self isolate, and obviously you wouldn’t want him out there spreading coronavirus to your family and friends.

I completely sympathise with your financial position OP, that must be incredibly stressful. The government really needs to do more about that, it’s not far your family should suffer financial hardship Because of something out of your control.

However, I do disagree with your reasoning to not test him. He should be isolated with a positive result, chances of that are no different to him actually developing symptoms, at which point you’d agree to isolate. So if you don’t know he has it, then you’re ok with him spreading it?

I don’t blame you. Some people are busy keeping roofs over their heads and can’t afford avoidable disruptions. It is their first responsibility and priority.

I wouldn’t, it’s just a study, he hasn’t got symptoms has he.

Just ignore the letter, I certainly wouldn’t have come on here asking the advice of a load of randoms then feel guilty about it. They probably keep sending them because most are ignoring them, a bit like persistent salesmen

I don't get the attitude of some people on this thread. The OP's son is at no more or less risk of spreading Covid than any asymptomatic poster. Are they all selfish?

It's a good thing to do to participate in the study if you can. My dad and my husband have been invited to do a swab for this and both were happy to. It's not compulsory. I can understand your reluctance so just say no.

There will be a problem of bias if only those in certain income groups agree to test at random (if patterns of spread are different based on wfh or not, for example).

The smart thing for the government to have done is to promise payment to any family who gave to isolate after a positive random test, even if not eligible.

DS, who is 7, had a test as part of a study in May. He was enthusiastic but then absolutely hated the test, he found it really unpleasant. If he gets symptoms we will encourage him to have the test but if he gets selected for study again then we will refuse. I won’t put him through it again unnecessarily.

If you don’t want your child to have the test then say no, it’s your choice. You don’t have to give a reason

Maybe morally they should take part but practically and financially, it’s not possible

My 5 year old got invited and I refused, he would find the test very traumatic as he’s quite sensitive to sensations. I need to keep his goodwill for his inevitable test with symptoms at some point!

YANBU due to reasons already highlighted about finances and the fact it's a study and your son doesn't have Covid FFS.

I wouldn’t put my child through a COVID test unless absolutely necessary. I would do it myself but if my child was selected I would say no. I’m concerned about potential food aversion or choking fear from making them gag and I don’t want to physically force them if they won’t comply.

I just feel like why should we open ourselves up to the possibility of 14 days isolation when we can barely afford it.

Wow, this comment is mind blowing

I think the govt need additional qualifying criteria for financial assistance in situations like this.

We need people to do these tests & therefore we need them (their parents) to not be unable to pay rent/buy food IF they test positive .

Os it the antibodies test? Its testing to see of you have had it not seeing if you have got it its a finger prick test?