AIBU not to want ds to take a test

[makingmiracles]

We’ve received a letter about random testing and ds has been selected to take part but I’m not keen at all. I understand why they are doing it but the consequence is obviously having to isolate the whole family is he tests positive. Now during lockdown when dp was furloughed i would of been happy for him to test but now we are both back at work I’m not keen at all, we scrape by as it is due to outgoings we cant reduce and having to isolate for 2 weeks will really impact our ability to pay our bills.

Obviously I know we may have to do 14days at some point if one of us had symptoms and tested positive, but already since schools went back they’ve already had several days off in sept whilst waiting for results and 2 days this week awaiting test to arrive and then possibly more days next week if we don’t get results by Monday.

I just feel like why should we open ourselves up to the possibility of 14 days isolation when we can barely afford it.

They have sent the request letter twice now, thought they would move onto someone else if I didn’t reply but will they keep sending the letter?
Annoyingly we don’t get any of the benefits you have to be on to claim the £500 isolation payment, which is unfair as we are certainly not well off, dps salary is £19kpa and mine is low as i only work relief on weekends.

My household is in a testing scheme.

Just finished out second round of tests-we are all testing weekly.

I can appreciate some anxieties around participating but am concerned that you'd rather not know you had it so you wouldn't have to isolate???

It would be nice if you could do this as your family's contribution to preventing the spread of the virus and further deaths.

In these difficult times we have to pull together and show an element of public-spiritedness.

No, you don’t have to take part but the selfishness behind your reasoning is why we’ve had such problems containing the pandemic.

@Mischance

It would be nice if you could do this as your family's contribution to preventing the spread of the virus and further deaths.

In these difficult times we have to pull together and show an element of public-spiritedness.

I agree but we’re all doing that already to some extent by complying with restrictions. Regular testing is above and beyond that and not compulsory.

OP has to balance her families needs against the greater good and in this case it stands to cause their family unit real financial difficulty that otherwise wouldn’t be an issue (how would anyone know they’re asymptomatic without testing? It’s not a case of wantonly spreading covid as long as they’re following national guidelines).

I think anyone who avoids the work/childcare/isolation business at the moment is very lucky. We’re on our second isolation period since September despite my regular testing because dd keeps getting a sodding cough. It’s highly unlikely anyone showing symptoms is going to escape the financial impact, why increase your chances of that happening if your finances are already on a knife edge?

Don't worry OP. We said no too for the same reason. Make the best choice for your family.

We are doing everything else to stay safe, mask wearing out and about and at school run, sanitising hands all the time, limiting amount of shops i go to, avoiding taking kids to shops and we haven’t had a “day out” since before lockdown, not been to any cafes, pubs or restaurants or any non essential outing really. Literally doing shopping, going to school and work, that’s it.

@kitchenconfidential is it selfish? She's worried about losing income which I can completely understand. Sure, we need to make sacrifices for the good of society but people have already sacrificed a lot and some families have reached their reasonable limit.

So sick of people being branded selfish for daring to disagree with anything related to the coronavirus act. Usually by people who have continued to receive the same income they did pre pandemic.

I do get your reasoning, but you are obviously going to get flamed for your “ignorance is bliss” attitude and publicising it on MN.

My daughter (9) received the letter twice but is adamant she does not want to do it. She saw me doing mine when I had symptoms, and I gagged and sneezed a lot 😬 Think I put her off. I wouldn't force her to do it. If she had symptoms we would isolate of course, and I would put a little pressure on her to try doing the test.

Of course YANBU in the slightest to prioritise keeping a roof over your head! There will be plenty of people who can afford to take the risk who can do the research instead.

Words fail me OP.

Please can I just say I wasn't deleted for being a dick to you @makingmiracles, I told someone to fuck off who actually was being a total dick.

It's a difficult situation. I can see both sides. If we had to self isolate here, DH would definitely lose his job - agency worker, you don't turn up you don't get paid and you don't get to come back the next day (and if I said which multi million pound company he works for, people would be )

People judging OP need to direct their ire at the people who are actually putting people like this in this shit position. My DH has spent the summer between short term contract agency jobs like this after losing his original one due to CV. Two of them he didn't get paid for yet and is still chasing (one of these was in care, the other cleaning ). We literally need the money to feed DC and pay bills. The amount of stress we are in due to this (especially DH) is unreal. The thought of having two weeks unpaid and having to find another is awful.

On the other side, I'm in the shielding category and ill and so I can definitely see the more people get involved in schemes like this the better it will be for everyone and hopefully reduce problems long term.

People quick to blame @makingmiracles need to look upwards not sideways. If employment and pay is protected people are more likely to engage. It's easy to sit there and judge someone when you have no fucking clue what it's like to be in a position where if you don't go to work you don't get paid and there is nothing in the bank to buy shopping with. (Not saying you are in that position OP but to outline the problem).

Why is that all bold and where did my emojis go? Fuck sake

You'd rather not know and bury your heads, carrying on as normal infecting others.

Like pp. Words fail me.

@OverTheRainbow88

YANBU to not want him to have a test if he doesn’t want to do it as it’s his body and his choice.

YABU to not want a test incase you then have to self isolate

This. You desire not to isolate if a member of your household is covid positive is disgusting.

"Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind

And the "you can't put money over health and people losing their lives" and "you have to prioritise your health over everything" really fucks me off. So easy to say when you can afford to say it. I have more skin in the game of "losing your life" than a lot of people trotting this out, and I can say it's fucking bullshit for some.

Show me someone who would actually prioritise their own health )let alone other peoples health) over having money to buy their DC food to eat and I'll show you MN calling them a selfish fucker. Ironically.

[quote upthewolves]@kitchenconfidential is it selfish? She's worried about losing income which I can completely understand. Sure, we need to make sacrifices for the good of society but people have already sacrificed a lot and some families have reached their reasonable limit.

So sick of people being branded selfish for daring to disagree with anything related to the coronavirus act. Usually by people who have continued to receive the same income they did pre pandemic.[/quote]
The issue isn't with her not wanting her son to do it, bodily autonomy and all that. It is her disgraceful attitude that she doesn't care if it is spread to vulnerable and extremely vulnerable members of the public so long as she is alright Jack. That is why people are outraged.

@OverTheRainbow88

YANBU to not want him to have a test if he doesn’t want to do it as it’s his body and his choice.

YABU to not want a test incase you then have to self isolate

This reasoning I agree with.

If your child is secondary age and Gillick competence you are a poor parent if you are unable to discuss body autonomy, personal agency, health and social policy with him.

We refused the invitation. No drama.

The responses in this thread reek of entitlement, 14 day isolation without pay can cripple some families. Put your family first

OP - YANBU

@Blue565
Which is why they have support grants for low income families. So yes, they are being v v unreasonable

Why are people acting like OP and her family are knowingly spreading covid? The point of asymptomatic spread is people don’t know they’ve got it. Everyone on this thread could be shedding covid all over the shop and not have a clue. Unless your shelling out for a weekly private test and isolating until you get a negative result.

It’s pure chance her ds was invited to test. If he doesn’t then they will select other people until they have enough, the health of the country isn’t on his shoulders. By not taking part he’s in exactly the same position as the rest of 99.99% of the country.

@MiddleClassMother that’s true, but many families on low incomes also receive top up benefits, either universal credit or still housing benefit.

I did and any change royally fucks you, especially housing benefit. I doubt the government have changed the system since I was on partial HB a year ago, but it would have taken weeks to sort out. I lost my home and had to move areas when I was on SSP for pluerisy as HB couldn’t sort themselves and the changes out in time and my claim was suspended.

[quote MiddleClassMother]@Blue565
Which is why they have support grants for low income families. So yes, they are being v v unreasonable [/quote]
You have to be in receipt of other benefits to qualify for that and the OP has already said they aren’t entitled.

It’s perfectly possible to be working poor and not entitled to any kind of help.