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Original poster

Should I accept visitors for my newborn baby?

48 replies

SpotlessMind88 · 09/10/2020 00:41

My first baby was born on Tuesday and everyone is excited to meet her but I don't actually want visitors due to corona virus. My mum signed up to the government scheme and gets a Covid test every week so I feel fine about her seeing my baby. Although my partner's family have no symptoms I'm reluctant to let them meet my baby. Are there any rules for this? Should visitors be discouraged? Should they wear masks? My family are totally understandable and keep saying give it 6 weeks before even entertaining the thought of visitors but my partner's family keep going on about it.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated :)

OP posts:
Shmithecat2 · 09/10/2020 00:49

There is the rule of 6 (assuming you're in England), but even if there weren't, it's entirely up to you and if I were you, I'd not be allowing visitors yet either.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 09/10/2020 01:06

Your Mum the day after she gets her negative test, and your Dp’s Mum, wearing a mask and not holding the baby , for a short socially distanced visit is all that I would allow.

2littleboyzmum · 09/10/2020 01:41

I'd FaceTime except with those in your bubble who can visit. Not worth the risk! A family member who came to look after my boys, as I was in hospital, tested positive four days after they'd been in our house and we will have no way of knowing if they were infectious then or not. They'd fed my 1yr old and played with my four years. So I've put us on full lockdown now bar work and nursery. Only my mum in our bubble is allowed to visit and have the kids now beside us as parents. We won't be having visitors for the upcoming birthdays or Christmas as I won't have the Christmas period ruined by having to self isolate due to family visiting

MsChatterbox · 09/10/2020 01:44

With my newborn I did door viewings and outdoor visits. It wasn't until she was 3 months old that we did a proper visit for anyone - although I would like to continue to have her in a bubble!!

Wherethereshope · 09/10/2020 01:52

Go with your instincts.
For me I think it would depend on how much risk the person takes and whether the rates are ok where they live. If it felt too much risk I'd be thinking to meet outside and go for a walk when you're ready for that. Just be open with them about how you feel.

NelliePig · 09/10/2020 02:12

My little girl was born in July she met his family the same day and mine the day after. Everyone had a cuddle. Babies arent high risk and obviously anyone feeling unwell (like any other year, with any other baby) woudlnt have come.

I have friends who didnt though, they wished they had from day 1 as they developed anxiety over it and found it harder the longer they left it, one of them still hasnt let her parents hold the baby 🙄 ! X

WankPuffins · 09/10/2020 09:12

I’ve got a six week old.

Her grandparents have seen her weekly. When I was pregnant I was so against it.

BUT my six year old is at school everyday and my 18 year old is at college with thousands of other people. My baby is at more risk from them.

Funkypolar · 09/10/2020 09:32

I will let the grandparents see and hold baby...my parents are going to helping with childcare so...

thisusernameismine · 09/10/2020 09:34

A friend's newborn gave me covid (and subsequently my DH and DD have it too now) so you could always pass that story on to deter them if you wish Grin

jpforward · 09/10/2020 09:40

My sisters baby was born in April and anyone who wanted to meet her just came to their living room window and saw her that way, then there was no stress of transmission and you could get close up have have a proper look rather than trying to crane your neck from 2m away!

fabulous40s · 09/10/2020 09:41

I think it’s unfair to let one grandparent see the baby and not the others. As others have suggested, I’d say outdoors with masks fro a quick cuddle and plenty of window visits

Yetiyoga · 09/10/2020 09:50

You can't let one grandparent hold the baby and not the other in my opinion. Your mum is only guaranteed negative from the moment she takes her test. So she is still a risk. My sibling is having a baby soon and they haven't decided yet. But I will respect their wishes either way. They won't be allowing friends and extended family but anyone who does hold, if they are happy, will be grandparents and aunties/ uncles only.

Iknowthingsthatwillhappen · 09/10/2020 09:50

It is beyond me that anybody really wants to cuddle someone else newborn! (I realise that I may be weird though Grin

PurpleDaisies · 09/10/2020 09:54

My family are totally understandable and keep saying give it 6 weeks before even entertaining the thought of visitors but my partner's family keep going on about it.

Of course your family are fine-your mum will be seeing the baby.
For me, it would be both or neither. The risk outdoors is tiny, so you could arrange a short meet on a sunny day.

Elieza · 09/10/2020 10:04

I agree with the others who are suggesting outdoor visits only and following the rules 100%.

No way I’d let anyone hold the baby though. Their face will be less than a foot away from the baby’s face. We are supposed to be 2m away, even with masks, to slow the spread of infection from droplets in our breath. Two adults from different households are not allowed to cuddle so I don’t think I’d let someone cuddle my most predacious and valuable ‘possession’.

CV will pass. Until then protect the little one from people who may not know yet they are infected.

TeddyIsaHe · 09/10/2020 10:13

Wash hands thoroughly, take off coats and wear a mask. Short cuddles.

I couldn’t not let dp’s parents cuddle baby when my parents could! Totally unfair. The chance of anything happening to your baby regarding covid is beyond minuscule. It’s more dangerous (statistically speaking) to drive them anywhere.

doireallyneedaname · 09/10/2020 10:17

My baby was born at the end of February and so we went through the first wave with people asking similar requests. After a lot of resistance I let my partners mum visit and hold baby but that was it until last month. For me, cuddles can wait if it means keeping baby healthy.

I wouldn’t mind a socially distanced visit in the garden if they are happy to see baby that way.

For the first few months babies are so fragile anyway, and what with flu season coming up I’d avoid anyway. Have they had flu jabs?

WankPuffins · 09/10/2020 10:50

@Iknowthingsthatwillhappen

It is beyond me that anybody really wants to cuddle someone else newborn! (I realise that I may be weird though Grin
Ha, @Iknowthingsthatwillhappen I’m with you on that! I only like my own babies! Probably will make an exception for grandchildren though Grin
WankPuffins · 09/10/2020 10:57

Reading though these replies I’m not second guessing my own actions.

In my head, my 6 week old is at risk everyday from her older siblings at school and college, one using public transport and working part time in a shop.

So I figured she would be okay with PIL and my dad visiting occasionally - they all visit less places than we do Confused

SIL and her family haven’t been near. But they are both secondary teachers, two children at different schools. So that would all another layer of risk.

Honestly when I was pregnant, no one came near. And I was sure no one would come near the baby for a long time. that But then Dd was born and my other children went back to education.

starfish4 · 09/10/2020 11:03

Congratulations! We're not comfortable with having people in our home (very common in this area), so wouldn't want visitors. If you feel both grandparents should be treated the same, then allow them both in with masks and sanitized hands (even though your DM is having tests there's still a loophole). You could meet others at a local park, wooded area for a SD walk.

Aposterhasnoname · 09/10/2020 11:10

Ask yourself 100% honestly, if it was the other way round, and your MIL was the one taking weekly tests and your DM, would you have MIL round and not your family?

anniegun · 09/10/2020 11:14

Its another one rule for my Mum, and a different rule for his thread

Waspnest · 09/10/2020 11:18

It is beyond me that anybody really wants to cuddle someone else newborn! (I realise that I may be weird though)

^ This. I hate it when people with a baby say 'would you like a cuddle?' No I really don't but I'm not sure there's a nice way of saying it.

FluffySunshineBunny · 09/10/2020 11:23

I'm not in the U.K. and doctors here are saying no visitors until 6 week shots! That's what everyone around me is doing. Family hates it but I don't care. I've kept myself isolated this far. I'm not letting this tiny baby get sick now. And for someone up the thread that said babies aren't at greater risk, several babies under 12 months have died in my location.

BuffaloCauliflower · 09/10/2020 11:43

I’m due in November and real guidance seems to be non-existent. I think I’m going to only let our parents meet him in the first couple of weeks and then beyond that assess what cases look like around here. I don’t mind pissing anyone off, and I’m just as concerned about me or DH getting ill whilst trying to care for a newborn too - with anything, not just covid. My asthma’s been its worst ever during pregnancy and DH is T1 diabetic, so whilst I’m not concerned about death either of us getting ill could be worse than the average.

It’s really hard though and I know people will want to meet him. I think an initial 2 week block should be enough space to assess from there.

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