Advice please - single parent isolating when child negative

[Disorganisedfish]

I had my test results yesterday that I was positive, Ds results today that he is negative.

It’s literally just the 2 of us as his dad is not in country. Ds is very clingy and worried I’m going to die - had been sleeping in my bed up till now.

How can I keep him safe? I feel like crap but going to bleach / anti bac the house now and wash all bedding.

I feel like I need to keep away from him, but without him realising as he’s already so anxious and worried.

Please can you guys give me some hints on what to do here? Thank you

You've not said how old he is, but personally I wouldn't be trying to keep away from my child. You'll have been infectious in the days before you showed symptoms, so in all honesty, if he was going to get it from you, that would have probably already happened.

God that would have really helped - I’m sorry! He’s 8. Do you think it would have happened by now if it was going to?

My gut feeling up till now was that I could comfort him as I just assumed if one of us had it then the other did. Now it feels like I need to second guess that because I will feel terrible if he now gets a positive test and it’s my fault.

I'm sorry, but what are you talking about? So what if he tests positive, most kids who tests positive don't even have symptoms and this virus is not fatal to children.

He probably won't even notice if he has it, and you're planning to stay away from him? From your 8 year old already anxious child?

Why does your child thing you're going to die just because you have picked up a virus? An 8 year old should be explained that humans pick up a lot of viruses in their life and there is very little chance they die from it, not allowed to watch BBC manufactured hysteria?

Also, why are you bleaching everything after letting him sleep in your bed? Viruses need human hosts and the WHO itself says there is very little evidence that it spreads on surfaces.

This is the most bizzare thing I've read on here and that's saying something.

In this situation, on a balance of risk, by far the greatest risk to your child is mental injury / suffering so please prioritise this urgently!

Lots of cuddles, dial back the cleaning etc and try to make everything as normal as possible. Don't hide it if you feel rubbish - as he will pick up on the fact that you are hiding something and automatically assume the worst!

Risk of infection living with someone is 1 in 10, according to LBC report today. Risk of serious illness in a child of 8 is tiny. I had covid symptoms in March and distanced from my children, it was torture and there dad was home the whole time. If I was on my own now, with current understanding of the risk to children I would continue to cuddle and comfort them.
Hope you're feeling better soon x

Agree with everyone else, given the current knowledge, no way would I be distancing from my 8yo. I would ensure we isolated properly together from other people, but from each other, no.

@JKRowlingIsMyQueen

I'm sorry, but what are you talking about? So what if he tests positive, most kids who tests positive don't even have symptoms and this virus is not fatal to children.

He probably won't even notice if he has it, and you're planning to stay away from him? From your 8 year old already anxious child?

Why does your child thing you're going to die just because you have picked up a virus? An 8 year old should be explained that humans pick up a lot of viruses in their life and there is very little chance they die from it, not allowed to watch BBC manufactured hysteria?

Also, why are you bleaching everything after letting him sleep in your bed? Viruses need human hosts and the WHO itself says there is very little evidence that it spreads on surfaces.

This is the most bizzare thing I've read on here and that's saying something.

Why be so arsey?

The op is worried about her child, it's a pretty natural reaction. Hopefully she will feel reassured by some of the kinder posts on this thread.

@Disorganisedfish I hope you feel ok, I don't think you can isolate your ds, and I think if he is clingy and needs reassurance, then cuddles and reassurance is what you need to give him

As above really, but kinder.

You aren't feeling well, so cut yourself some slack. PJs and TV week coming up, read books together, have lie-ins, just enjoy being with each other. Reassure him that the risks given your age are tiny, the risks given his age are even lower and you'll just ride it out together then be happy when it's over. Keep up with the hugs, you'll both need them.

Now, how are you doing for shopping, drugs and money? Get loads of paracetamol and some difflam for your throat. I put useful links here, in case you need shopping, have financial worries or anything else.

Sorry, links here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4030369-Links-to-support-sites-isolating-quarantine-financial-long-covid-etc.

Did your ds have symptoms too? If not, he shouldn't have got tested as he could be incubating it so a negative test would not mean he didn't have it.
Hope you get over it quickly and that he is OK too

OP In your situation I would distance as much as possible depending on how it is physically eg can you use different bathrooms, you stay in your room mostly and communicate through devices so that you can keep an eye on each other? Do you have friends neighbors who can help deliver meals which your son can bring in and put one outside your room? Arrange for some virtual game sessions with his friends, use baby monitors between you too if available. Just some practical ideas which you can of course use whatever is available. Reassure him and get him occupied but I would distance. This is not the time for cuddles and it’ll pass. Hope you’ll go through this soon.

hi! if I correctly understood your anxiety, I will say that there are non-infectious species, you need to check in the clinics. a friend of mine recently got a positive test, but her husband was negative and the doctor said it was a non-contagious form.

What doctor was that???

Is he is anxious and you don’t want to distance too much, you wearing a mask would reduce the viral load that he is exposed to. If I were in your position, I would try to be sofa based and not breathing all over each other but close enough that he feels supported, but I would wear a mask.

I think 8 or 9 is often the age group when they get worried about death and people dying - not just because of the pandemic and what they are watching on TV
Unfortunately people do die and with each of my kids it was around that age when they started to understand death meant gone forever (my older kids it was their baby cousin dying and a classmate's mother - not things which could be kept from them)

My 8 year old is mainly ok at the moment but I could see him being scared his dad or I would die if we caught it because we have lost a family member (aged 47 with no underlying health problems)

All that said I don't think I could isolate from him in the same house

Thank you for everyone’s responses - especially the kinder ones who realised the balance I am trying to strike.

My son is my everything, I’m trying to keep him safe AND keep him secure and feeling less anxious.

At the moment we have had a chat about how he can stay downstairs as a treat with his gadgets (Xbox and switch) and I will stay upstairs with my laptop and Netflix. I’ve passed it off as us both having a treat weekend and letting us both rest after a busy week.

He’s not aware of my cleaning - but I am upping my game and spraying door handles / putting toothbrushes in detol etc.

I adore my son, but realistically it’s going to be a month now of just me and him (isolation plus half term) and psychologically I struggle with that, as well as feeling run down and knackered, and worried about Covid, and worried about home schooling, and worried about my health, and his health, and everything else. I am tired, thank you for those who were kind x

If you have it , I don't think you can do anything to stop him getting it...and that's if he even gets anything more than a cold with it.

To be honest id take a fair shot that he probably does have it. I have a friend who's entire family had symptoms and out of 5 of them only one of them (the one with the least symptoms) got a positive test. The rest of them got negatives when it was blatently obvious they all had it. So I'd like to place money on the fact he either isn't going to get it, or he already has. Don't worry. Don't over clean and freak yourself out as if you've been sharing a bed and a house and it's just the two of you then I think you can't prevent much. He's 8 , you can't keep away from him.and nor should you. I hope you can manage ok though if you're feeling rubbish - be kind to yourself and make liberal use of CBBC netflix and any games you have!!

My DS is the same age, we are a two parent family and he'd be very distressed if any of us had to distance. I'd just get on with it as best you both can working on the basis that what will be will be and that children tend to be OK. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

@Disorganisedfish - one day at a time. Focus on getting better while keeping you both fed, warm and entertained. Half term you'll be better hopefully and able to go to playgrounds / on bike rides / for walks / see friends outside. Get well soon.

is there not a good chance that you perhaps caught it off him? He may have been asymptomatic.
If not I don't think you can realistically stop him from getting it if he's going to get it, likelihood is that he's incubating (unless it's gone from him already) so if it was just my son I'd be carrying on giving him cuddles as usual.
Hope you're not feeling particularly ill, and that you're better soon

Sending you my best wishes and strength and solidarity. I am also a single parent and understand your concerns.

Luckily it is this way round rather than the other way -- the risks to your son are so much lower, so you don't have to worry as much as you would worry about catching it yourself if you had been negative and he had been positive.

Keep anti-baccing the door handles and hope for the best -- but honestly, it should be fine even if he does catch it. There's also a chance that he got a false negative test of course and has it anyway.

Take good care of yourself, take vitamin D, zinc and vitamin C and stay hydrated, and make sure you have a stock of food in the house that your son can eat without needing preparation. Also make sure your son knows how to get help for you in an emergency and that people outside the household are checking on you regularly by phone.

Check out Oak Academy for home schooling. During lockdown I also paid for some classes on Outschool as I felt it was important my DD had some more interactive learning and those were very good. We also watched a lot of nature documentaries and learned a lot even in our 'off time'.

If he is ridiculously anxious and you’re feeling ok-ish, could you not frame it as a more positive thing like ‘ok this is a GOOD thing. My body is learning to fight the virus, creating antibodies and next time it comes into contact with it it’ll know what to do and it’ll fend it off’ that sort of thing? That’s what I would probably do in your situation.

Thanks everyone for all your messages.

I feel rotten and am mostly in bed while Ds watches tv downstairs. He got upset yesterday so I am trying to be more present, but honestly, I just feel crap and so guilty.

His school have been brill and have sent home his timetable and work for each lesson that he needs to submit in real time if poss. I have no idea how I’m going to juggle this as I am meant to be working from home as well but think I may need to call in sick or take last minute holiday.

How long do Mild symptoms last? I am hoping I wake up tomorrow feeling so much better. I feel so sorry for my son - I am aware I’m ‘lucky’ in that I’m strong and fit, but I’ve been really shocked by how much this has knocked me

I wouldn't have him in bed to sleep with you for reasons of viral load. But I'm not medically qualified. Otherwise you can't distance without it being really distressing I reckon.

for you. Tricky times.

Won't you have finished your quarantine by half-term? Get out to parks and see friends at a social distance outside during half-term.
Out of interest, do you have any idea where you caught it?