Anyone else just feel like crying?

[ssd]

I not a crier. But I feel like sobbing at the state of the world.

Fucking glum. Brexit will be worse than this; climate change will be a walk in the (dying) park by comparison.

But's nothing compared to WWI or II.

Yet.

I worked in a care home for the first time at the start of the year. I have a disability but had always wanted to do it so really really pushed myself and completely fell in love with the residents there. I don't have a big family and I just loved being with them every day. I had to leave just before lockdown because my disability made it too hard to do the job and had to homeschool. It felt like the right thing to do at the time. Within two weeks we lost eight residents to the virus, some of whom I really loved and cared for. I can't forgive myself for leaving but I had no idea how bad it would get. They were wonderful and they and their families deserved so much more. I'll never forget them or how they were treated by this government.

I had a breakdown at the end of March both physically and mentally and sometimes don't think I'll ever be happy again. I cry constantly and frequently fantasise about going to the local field and having a good scream.
for you OP and everyone here struggling. This place has been an absolute lifeline for me over the last six months.

Yes. I cry it out whilst walking my dog (we live in a rural area and I rarely see anyone when I’m out). A combination of the world as it is now, worry about family in worse places than here (yes ... really!) and coping with a husband who is sliding into dementia before my eyes

Someone pour me another glass of wine .........

Yes. Crying often, I'm not in the slightest bit worried about any of us dying of covid but everything else that comes with this is just so overwhelming

I’ve spent a lot of today crying, am crying atm with a g&t and a chocolate bar (I know, such healthy behaviours!) because DH has to work late and I am done. I was done by 12pm today and he knows it, but work is important.

I’m just done with it all. I’m done with being a SAHM, I’m done with covid stopping me from seeing my friends (and sharing some of the baby-burden for a short time), I’m done with my support network being trashed, I’m done with winter and it isn’t even fucking here yet, I’m done with meeting outside and freezing my arse off, I’m done with my son's crying even when it’s totally reasonable, I’m done with not being able to see my parents inside their house, I’m done with all the clutter and junk DH has amassed in years of living in this house, I’m done with the fucking tip being shut so we can’t declutter, I’m done with the dust and the dirt and the washing machine that makes things smell awful and the stuff that is just everywhere because there isn’t anywhere to put it, I’m done with running around after DS all day and all night and not getting anything like my share of the housework finished, and I am just done with everything being shit.

And Brexit hasn’t even happened yet 😫

Oh, and I miss my bloody mum! .

The masses didn't vote for a no deal and breaking international law Brexit.
The masses didn't vote for a no deal Brexit in the midst of a pandemic.
The government won't even let us have an extension to the Transition period while Covid is dealt with.
Meanwhile, they're siphoning OUR money to their rich friends as fast as they can. To them, Covid is just an opportunity.

Yes. Cried yesterday and felt v low. Uni lecturer and really worried about lonely first years, but also exhausted after summer of preparing the move online. Shouted at by angry parent, which felt like the last straw, 2020 is fucking shit.

@Beebityboo your comment sometimes don't think I'll ever be happy again just really affected me and I really really hope you do feel happy again in the future.

I hope everyone has less to cry about soon

@daisychain1620

It is shit but it will end and in a few years most people will look back and remember that it felt like it was never going to end but we'll see that it did (hopefully within a year of it starting- optimistic!). When you go through something awful with no timeframe of when it's going to end it seems worse than it is as you question if this is the way it's going to be forever.

This I see no ending and feel like we will be living with restrictions and social distancing for ever which won't happen I am glad I am not alone feeling like this

Yes, but I’ve suffered with depression for 24 years and so I have a head start on knowing how to get through stuff.
I’m facing this head on. I know the risks and do what I can to stay in control as losing control scares me. I’m being honest with myself and the dc: this is shit, but if we look hard enough we can find what we can to stay safe and to find joy. I know how to seek the light in the darkest places.
We’ll be paddling in the sea while we can, building bonfires, lighting candles, snuggling on the couch.
I’ll face my fears, arrange payment plans, budget my meals, learn to teach when schools can’t.
I can do this if I face it head on. Sure, I’ll cry when no one’s watching, but I’ll remember to find something to smile about when I’m cried out.
It isn’t forever. But for now, for my children, for my family, for my patients, I will persist.

Do u know I’m not worried about coronavirus, when it’s your time to go then it’s your time to go!! We all have to die at some point. But I’m so worried about the economy, people losing there jobs and then people losing there homes. We are going to have a hard next ten years!! Maybe even longer.

I’m worried about all the people that have not had there cancer treatments and other operations.

And when I think of all the poor families who might lose there homes, because they have lost there jobs I just want to cry.

I’m not crying but I am very angry.

I’m angry at the government’s staggering incompetence. Their useless test & trace system never worked well and collapsed completely at the first stress test when schools went back. Their reckless ‘eat out to help out’ scheme and encouraging people to return to work in offices. Both contributed to the entirely avoidable second wave.

I’m also angry at sections of the public who are stupid and ignorant. These cretins never took the pandemic seriously in the first place and thought their social lives were more important than the health of others.

Tens of millions of responsible people will now pay the price for the failures of the government and the selfishness of the covidiots.

@TheVanguardSix

A beautifully written, perfectly pitched post. I agree with every word.

I also say to everyone who is filled with despair - step back from the news. Stop looking at your phones. Honestly, have a digital detox. I'm a news junkie, I feel an obligation to know what is going on, and to try and form the right reaction to it, but it almost broke me a while back. And now I look but minimally. No social media.

Life is so much more tolerable.

Yes, I have been very tearful today. Feeling better now. Not helped by feeling poorly with a cold, but just so upset with it all.

I have moments where I feel really low.
Made redundant and in the process of dealing and treating another chronic illness which of course has been particularly difficult during this time. Wondering how I will cope with work and health and starting to feel very fearful about money.
No faith in the government either. Just feels like hell

@BastilleBastille, so sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed and sad. It is such a challenging time right now. I do think there is hope on the horizon though. Did you know that a businessman called Simon Dolan is taking the government to court in a months time over the legality of this lockdown. He is basically arguing that the lockdown is an excessive response that has adversely affected businesses and livelihoods and mental health. You can follow him on twitter. The BBC continues to push the fear about rising cases although hospitalisations have remained very low. Politicians, GPs and scientists are starting to step forward to critisize the government response. Cracks are starting to show big time so there has to be change. Be kind to yourself and try and do something everyday to lift your spirits even if it is a soak in the bath with chilled music. Stop watching the news and take deep breaths. Big hug to you.

Yes when I think of all the things my children are missing out on, that they will never get to do again, and the fact that it feels never ending, and the constant worry that I will get it at work and bring it home, and guilt that we can’t see parents.

@TheVanguardSix - completely agree. Life is so much calmer without the news!

Covid s utter shit.

It is however nothing like the climate change disaster and the exterminating of animal species we are causing.

When shit hits it will be much worse.

I did last night, actually. Just fed up, worried, and feeling a bit vulnerable and unwell. Grateful for MN.

Yes. Financially so so scared now the self employment grants gone. And really really worried my kids will end up without a mum due to potential school spread.

Im so tired.

@Pinstress and others who are struggling I am too.

I worry that, on top of Covid, we have Brexit to come (self harm there!)
And also, lurking, the horror of Climate change undealt with.
But there's only so much each of us can worry about, or we'd go mad.
I think the thing I find most upsetting is that it seems that, as divisions in society are growing ever wider, folk's empathy seems to be reducing. Perhaps it just appears that way on SM but it's worrying.

It's tough. It'd be easier if there was the promise of 'better days to come' but who knows when this virus will end? Then we've got Brexit, climate change and a generation of debt from this virus. It is bleak.

Thank you so much for all your answers, but I'm so sorry others feel the same way. I hope pouring it out here helps a bit.