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Original poster

Is lockdown particularly tough for an only child

85 replies

MissPoldark · 21/09/2020 18:22

I’m wondering about the potential to allow only children to officially bubble with a friend.
I think lockdown is especially difficult for children with no brothers or sisters at home to play with.

Single adults were allowed to bubble with another household, what do we think of the idea that single children could also do this?

I absolutely appreciate that lockdown is difficult for all sorts of people in different circumstances, but this strikes me as being something not too unreasonable that could be considered.

We can’t have a never ending list of exceptions, I know that. It’s just an idea that I think would really help the mental health and continuing social development of many children.

OP posts:
Ormally · 21/09/2020 20:17

Yes, I think it is. But I don't think we would be top of the list for bubbling either (all DD's friends have siblings, mostly more than 1) which would be really unbearable. Where there is cross-over between families with 2 or more DC that know each other and also live fairly near to each other, that would be their preferred arrangement. To an extent, it happened in round 1 (so DD left out quite a lot). There's also more scope for top primary children to be out and about just with their older siblings if going out to play. With an only of the same age, it wasn't happening.

cjcghana · 21/09/2020 20:27

I'm not in the uk but my 7 year old has been home since mid March and will stay home until January when they hope to reopen schools. Luckily we don't work so he gets a lot of attention. When we broach the subject of going back to school he says he'll miss us very much.. but knowing him, he won't. Whichever way you look at it everyone of us has been affected, whether or not there are any immediate effects or whether they'll come later.. who knows

HolaVida · 21/09/2020 20:32

3 children here. Lockdown has been full of hostility and tension relationally. Such hard work for us and them. Feel a bit traumatised.

Itwasaquarterpast11 · 21/09/2020 20:33

It was quite shit for my teenager. I worked throughout lockdown and as I am a single parent she was on her own all day, every day. As an adult, that's hard to cope with, but at 14, it's bloody awful.

tootyfruitypickle · 21/09/2020 20:38

I’ve been saying this since I as a single adult was allowed to bubble. Only children should be able to pick a friend to see and go inside their house even in an extreme lockdown. If I felt lonely, she felt worse.

tootyfruitypickle · 21/09/2020 20:41

Don’t think it should be with another only child, that wouldn’t work ! Just whoever their main friend is. I would never isolate her again regardless if another family was also happy to break the rules. I’ll stick to them as have a bubble .but they missed something with only children

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 21/09/2020 20:41

Yes. My very sociable DS was showing signs of depression by July. He went from being at breakfast club, school and afterschool club/activities 4/5 days a week to not seeing another child for months. He was so angry.

Thankfully he bounced back within 3/4 days of holiday club.

I’m terrified schools will close again Sad

Coldwinterahead1 · 21/09/2020 20:42

I have twins and they have been such amazing company for each other, they have played and entertained each other every day (yes they fight aswell) but I can’t imagine how lonely they would have been without each other. I think they will need each other more than ever in the coming months.

ohthegoats · 21/09/2020 20:50

It was really hard first time round. DD lost all of her various clubs and groups overnight. And as an only we had worked really hard to build her social networks. To make it worse she also lost time with family members because they all live more than 5 miles away (we are in Wales where that was the rule). She didn’t enjoy zoom calls or text messaging friends.

Yes, all that. It was horrible. I won't let it happen again, we'll move in with another family.

WotsitWiggle · 21/09/2020 20:51

Yes, DD is 12. Whilst she said she was ok, she became completely isolated. Didn't like zoom calls, so lost contact with her friends and then her anxiety got so bad she wouldn't leave the house even when she could. Both DH and I were working full time so she was on her own for most of that time.

Hopefully schools won't shut again, but I do think she would have benefitted with a friend being allowed to come over - she only has 3 close friends so it's minimal contact.

itispersonal · 21/09/2020 20:56

My own only child, started playing outside with another only child neighbour at the beginning of May before it was "allowed". I noticed her going more and more insular beforehand, but playing with the neighbour played her no end and ease pressure on everyone, as both houses were also key worker homes.

LadyCatStark · 21/09/2020 20:58

It was awful for DS (11). When we were first allowed out to meet people outdoors, we went to see his cousins and he’d forgotten how to socialise. They’re his favourite people and he just wandered off by himself. He didn’t want to video call his friends as there was nothing to talk about. He’s fine now and I’m just praying that his school stays open!

imnotimportant · 21/09/2020 20:58

Depends on the child , although adults now myself and DP are only children , I liked lockdown ( way too much !) and partner liked the time too , although we were both working and busy throughout, I kept thinking how it would have been had I still been a child and pretty sure I would have been content and happy and found plenty to keep myself busy . I'm sure some crave company whilst others crave time alone

NemoRocksMyWorld · 21/09/2020 21:01

I can imagine it was really really hard for only children.... But, I have 4 (ds11, dd9, ds6 and ds3) and there were major challenges there too. I had three to be homeschooled. They all had to wait at times while I was explaining one thing to another one of them. They squabbled non stop. The little one got no attention and became a nudist and taught himself Minecraft. I was pulled in so many different directions (also worked shifts throughout for NHS). My parenting went to pot and they couldn't escape each other.

So, swings and roundabouts.

IncidentsandAccidents · 21/09/2020 21:02

I think that would be such a good idea if schools close again. Single children need contact with their peers just as adults do.

CaraDuneRedux · 21/09/2020 21:03

It was devastatingly hard for my DS first time round - I was seriously worried about his mental health at several points. Yes, I think being allowed to "bubble" with another singleton would be a good idea.

herecomesthsun · 21/09/2020 21:05

On the one hand, I as an only child, would have spent the last 6 months with my nose in a book. Probably a completely unsuitable book. I would have struggled with libraries being shut, but then again you can get a lot of mileage out of The Complete Shakespeare and the KJ Bible.

On the other hand, my 2 children played together very happily through lockdown. To my delight and amazement as they were given to fighting before.

WinifredSanderson · 21/09/2020 21:08

When we were allowed to mix with one other person I let my DD8 bubble up with her best friend. Best thing I ever did as it made a massive difference to her to be actually acknowledged as a human being with needs, which the government seems to have vastly overlooked.

Essexgirlupnorth · 21/09/2020 21:09

Yes my only has been so much happier since she went back to school. She did see her best friend once lock down eased a bit but she told me she was lonely and it broke my heart especially as she should have had a sibling but I have miscarried twice

AlexaShutUp · 21/09/2020 21:09

No, I don't think so.

As the parent of a very sociable, extroverted only child, I don't feel that dd suffered more than anyone else during lockdown. Yes, she really missed her friends, but so did loads of kids with siblings. Fortunately, dd is resilient and found positive ways of managing her emotions. Some of her friends, on the other hand, have really struggled with their mental health. Having siblings doesn't appear to have been a protective factor.

movingonup20 · 21/09/2020 21:10

Not all siblings are close in age, they have the same issues

ProperlyPdOff · 21/09/2020 21:14

Yes, it is harder for an only child, but unless they have a proper best friend, it won't be possible to form bubbles. Most of their friends will have siblings and other families won't want to mix if the coronavirus situation is so bad that the children are not at school or able to mix in small groups.

ProperlyPdOff · 21/09/2020 21:15

My DC's friend did not contact him once during lockdown (teenagers). They all have siblings. Sad

ProperlyPdOff · 21/09/2020 21:16

@Itwasaquarterpast11

It was quite shit for my teenager. I worked throughout lockdown and as I am a single parent she was on her own all day, every day. As an adult, that's hard to cope with, but at 14, it's bloody awful.
Sorry to hear this. I agree - only child teenagers are going to need to keep going to school. With teenagers, the friendship group may only work in a school environment and be quite specific to school.
ineedaholidaynow · 21/09/2020 21:20

My DS(15) was quite happy