Children with multiple siblings

[CountessFrog]

Just wondering how this works, how it’s fair.

If you have several children and one is in an exam year (y11/13). This child will have to isolate whenever a family member gets symptoms. It means a lot of missed school if you can’t get tested.

Compared with an only child, perhaps with parents WFH. That child is much less likely to have to isolate awaiting a test, as their risk is lower and they live with fewer people. Their main reason for missing school is likely to be a whole year ‘bubble’ staying at home, in which case online lessons will be delivered.

How is that a level playing field for kids in exam years?

It's not. Nothing about a world wide pandemic is.

Life isn’t fair. There have always been many disadvantages to having siblings imo, it’s just one more thing.

I’d say it’s an actual material disadvantage if you have exams this year.

It actually doesn’t affect me, I’m just wondering. I only have two kids, but still my daughter is likely to miss school due to a sibling, whereas her friend is not.

What do you suggest happens then?

Yeah it’s rubbish. I have three so the potential for isolation is much higher.
But I’m not sure what the alternative is in this case.

Yes I agree it doesn't seem fair. But that's how life if. It's also unfair if both your parents get cancer the year where there is a pandemic, or you're about to start fertility treatment when there is national lockdown, or your school is crap with online learning when the school next door isn't.

In lockdown all the wealthy parents I know got private tutors. Lots of the poorer kids were playing out while their parents work.
Life isn't fair.

I suppose now you know your current predicament you can work out how to improve it.

We are so used to mechanisms to help make life fair that it's a real shock to the system when something comes along that obliterates all that. Covid couldn't care less about equity unfortunately.

@BlackberrySky

We are so used to mechanisms to help make life fair that it's a real shock to the system when something comes along that obliterates all that. Covid couldn't care less about equity unfortunately.

I know. We're so lucky in this country that we get all self-riteous about a lot of things.

Regularly on MN it is considered unfair that I only have one, as only children have no company or support. And now, it's unfair that I only have one as yours may miss out if my child is not unwell and can attend school.
It could be seen as unfair that mine is disadvantaged by coming into contact with children from larger social bubbles.

What about the long term mh of single dc who endured lockdown alone?
My 6 x dc didn't hate being stuck home..

I agree. Both my children are isolating at home because my primary age child has a cold and cough while we wait for his test results.

Both are well enough to be at school. Both are missing out on their schooling. But I particularly feel for my secondary-age son who is missing out on vital schooling while we wait for his sibling's result.

I do think the testing is important. I just cannot fathom a system that hasn't been ramped up to cope with this and get these children back into school quickly. I think this will just keep happening and I can see how disadvantaged those with lots of siblings are going to be.

It isn't fair. There are lots of situations that aren't fair - Covid is definitely one of them. I have a yr 10, yr 2 and a reception child. No doubt at some point we'll end up at home if anyone shows symptoms - although we think and hope that we've had it. There are currently two cases in my yr 10's bubble, but for now they're still going into school.

But its swings and roundabouts. An only child may have less chance of having to isolate right now, but they've been home alone possibly with just their parents for 6 months having who knows what impact on their mental health through a lack of social interaction. Kids with siblings have at least had some company so may not have been as badly affected. There are advantages and disadvantages to having/not having siblings.

@Crylittlesister

Regularly on MN it is considered unfair that I only have one, as only children have no company or support. And now, it's unfair that I only have one as yours may miss out if my child is not unwell and can attend school. It could be seen as unfair that mine is disadvantaged by coming into contact with children from larger social bubbles.

This.

All children have been affected and possibly disadvantaged in some way. As have we all.

Why don't we support and sympathise with each other, rather than trying to compare all the time?

Sadly those poor kids with 3,4,5+ siblings are going to miss a lot of school. As others have said, being one of many has a lot of disadvantages, just one more to add to the list.

Selfish parents, say no more.

What do you want? Extra marks for number of siblings you have? How about exam marks deducted - maybe automatic lower grades - for pesky only children.

Yes, lots of unfairness.

• poor people more affected
• big families more affected
• health vulnerable families more affected
• urban areas more affected
• working age more affected

Etc etc etc

You might like to read John Rawls

Personally, I think any child sitting exams through all this is at a disadvantage regardless of many children their parents chose to have.

It’s not just siblings that will affect this, a small rural school may be lucky and avoid any isolation for the year group while a larger urban school could have several pupils test positive at different times causing repeated periods of isolation.

Is it unfair for only children that children with many siblings are more exposed to the virus than they are and therefore more likely to bring it into their class?
What do you want? Everyone only to have one child? Or children with siblings to have to go off and live in households where they can effectively be an only child?

Is it unfair on only children or first norms that when it's their exam year they don't have an older sibling who has gone through it and give help/advice?

You seem like you are looking for excuses for poor grade performance when actually your child might do really well. The home learning environment being required more often might mean they do better in exams if they use the tools given to them correctly, less distraction from others in class too. Try to find positives instead of excuses.

Life isn’t fair. I could say it wasn’t fair that my only child didn’t get to play with another child for over 3 months during lockdown. It is what it is. Some situations work out in your favour, some don’t.

It's never a level playing field, and it's going to be worse this year. I'm sure they wil never release stats on it... But I would be really interested to see what impact it has on 11+ scores this year. It's the first 'public' exam happening (I know it's not all Yr6s). More private school pupils, less pupils from the poorer Primary schools? Less passes from those with NHS parents and other keyworker parents? More only kids passing as parents had more time to spend with the child?

Gosh there are some very angry responses on this thread.

I’m thinking to myself, as an exam board, or even a school, if you are asked to justify grades next year, then how would you justify it in this scenario.

I don’t personally have multiple children. I don’t personally think that life is fair.

But it’s a reasonable question. If a child misses school say, once a month, then they get poorer grades, where would that child stand in arguing that they didn’t get the same teaching as others?

I was speaking to a lady today (via my work) who has five children over two marriages. Her elder two boys are in y11/13 so both doing exams. They have three half siblings in y2, yr, nursery. They are stressed out having missed six months of school, they went back a week ago and now they are isolating for 14 days because the YR child cane home with a cough and temperature.

So it’s that sort of scenario.

Trust me - being in a high risk area where the sting without symptoms is encouraged means that every school around here has at least one year group out. My daughter in year 13 has no chance 😪

It's true.
We are testing now and only 8d and 5d in!
Only one ill with a temp but the other off too. But by then both will be off again for the other then us parents.
So a single mum one child would be off less.
But if you have one prone to temps and coughs you are all stuffed.
School havent even acknowledged my email let alone offered any work..
Also kids with motivated/rich parents will either be getting hold of the tests or paying privately for them(obviously not if they are contacts though rather than ill).
And high risk areas will go to part time.
Kids of parents who are shielding etc.
It is going to be incredibly unequal.
I dont want dc to go back now this is unsustainable for people with asthma

Not sure what you want the solution for this to be OP? If you are suggesting that people with multiple siblings are exempt from isolating then you must know that this would be ridiculous- the virus doesn't care about what you see as fairness or unfairness!