Feel more negative now than when Lockdown was happening..

[puzzleboxes]

Is anyone else feeling this way? I know what I’m feeling is pretty ‘first world problems’ and selfish, especially considering all those who lost their lives or lost their loved ones. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and that others have it much worse.

But this just feels never-ending now, and I’m struggling to feel positive about a lot. All the nice things and little joys in life seem to have been taken away. My parents have to shield and I’m struggling with the lack of contact there (we’re all very close and previously i visited frequently, went out with my mum a lot) I can do a distanced garden visit but winter is drawing in now. Kids back at school for 3 days, little one just about getting used to reception, when eldest gets a cough/sore throat. Struggled to get test, finally got one for today so another day or two stuck at home. Dreading at how often this will happen or if school will close again.

Everything was on hold for summer and we cancelled a holiday, a trip away and couldn’t do a lot of our other plans. But now it seems all the autumn/winter things will be cancelled too- no Halloween, school assemblies or Christmas nativity play, visiting Santa or Christmas family gathering or New Year’s Eve parties. Then we are into 2021 and a year on from the start of the pandemic, with it all still hanging over us.

In lockdown everyone spoke of ‘when this is all over’ but it beginning to see it’s not that straightforward. Autumns beginning and they’ve just announced fines for more than 6 people gathering, events are still being cancelled everywhere, we have to wear masks and socially distant.

I don’t know the point of this, just needed a little vent.

Yes. I'm so worried about my DCs' education and future.

They are in GCSE years and
school already has a case. I wake up early every day feeling so low.

It's tough on the young. I know a few may not like school , but many do and like the routine and structure to their day and after school clubs and activities. My eldest loved scouts and venture scouts and he really learnt a lot. All those type of things won't be running and that's so sad too not to mention the disruption to the exams and how things are run at school and how the year normally pans out for them and the family as a whole. It's now all upside down.
It is so sad and usually Christmas is quite magical at our primary for the children as well ( as I'm sure it is at most schools!)

It has been a long time op, I am not surprised you are feeling worn down by stress and fatigue. We are also heading into the next wave in my view, and I am looking forward to that as much as look forward to a tooth extraction.

I am determined not to sink with the gloom, plan fun things anyway. Nativity can be in your house with one other household, ditto halloween. We are going to have to be flexible and imaginative this year. It is only one year, there will be many more....without covid hopefully. Give yourself something to smile about every day whatever that might be.

Yes, I hate it. I was far more serene during lockdown. This latest announcement has the potential to put the brakes on my business again - I had just opened up again.

Little things are bothering me more than they should. I went into a shop earlier in the week and wasn’t allowed to browse - everything was cordoned off behind screens and I had to ask for what I wanted (didn’t really know tbh - was expecting to be able to browse - it is a browsing sort of shop..) and a member of staff went to get it. I’ve been reasonably positive throughout, but this strangely made me feel like shit.

@puzzleboxes

Soul-destroying is definitely right :(

I didn’t have the best couple of years prior to this all happening, then situations changed and everything was looking really good and positive and I was ready to start enjoying life so it’s all made it a bit ‘meh’ now.

I hate the ‘new normal’. We took the kids to a children’s theme park in the summer to try and give them a treat. A lot of things shut, queues took 3 times as long as only half capacity allowed on rides then a few minutes waiting whilst it was re-sterilised every time. Paid full price for a substandard experience and it just feels like this is the way everything else is. Nothing is straightforward anymore.

Keep thinking back to last Xmas and NYE and feel sad at how it will be this year.

I am the same as you OP. I had a really shitty couple of years 2018/2019 and at the end of 2019 things were finally starting to ease and I thought I would be able to start enjoying life again. Then along came this bastard virus. My only consolation is the knowledge that I am not alone, and that at least I have not lost anyone close to me.

I also aree that nothing is as enjoyable any more. I would love a holiday or even just a short break, but there doesn't seem much point with the way everything is at the moment.

Let's just hope and pray things will be better by this time next year.

The worst thing is the economic fall out even if and when it is 'all over'.

It's going to take hospitality a long time to recover and a long time before it'll even be allowed to. It's the final death knell for the high street as well.

Yes 100% agree. Not saying at the start it was "exciting", but it was just an unknown situation we all had to adjust to, to do our bit to keep everyone safe, and there was definitely a real sense of comradery and coming together, which seemed to keep most people going, knowing there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. Feel like that light has gone now, and these new restrictions are just a farce. How are pubs allowed to stay open, but a child isn't allowed to have a birthday party with the same children they've spent all week with? X

Me too OP.

I’m a single parent so found lock down with two primary DCs very difficult ( plus work). Things did feel a bit better over the summer - but I just feel like what is ahead is very bleak.

It particularly hit me as my DC were back at school for two days and then eldest had a temperature and cough so all off. Taken me two days to get a test and for some reason it’s like that has really thrown me - it was surprisingly very stressful not know when I’d be able to get him tested as can’t return until a negative.

Now waiting for the result. Work grinds on relentlessly - more so as obviously no one else has DC at home! I keep wondering how often this will happen and really feel very down about it. Plus worrying about getting ill and where’s a before if desperate could ask a friend for help can’t really now incase COViD.

Anyway I guess we just have to take each day as it comes and perhaps when we get more into the swing of new term at school etc it will become manageable again.

Me too. Really despondent this week, I'm even considering going back on antidepressants. We've got several large extra stressors happening at the moment too; moving house, DS starting a new school, re-starting my job after lockdown which has become twice as labour-intensive due to covid regs.
I keep looking at my finances to see if I can retire early and we can go and live in the Shetlands or something..

I remember having the realisation early in lockdown.. but, but if they lift the restrictions surely the virus will just grow again? And realising that nothing short of mass vaccination will end this.
I dared to think it had kind of gone away but my earlier realisation was right.

At the start of lockdown my main feeling was fear.

That's now been replaced with a general feeling of sadness at how rubbish the situation is and how miserable I think winter will be.

@Bajalaluna yeah I know what you mean about the initial lockdown, it all felt so new with clearer rules and like we all just needed to do our bit to ‘fix’ the problem if we just followed the rules and it would all be over. Plus there was all the rainbows in the window and the Clap for carers, a lot of neighbours would be sat outside the front of their houses in the sunshine chatting to each other and there was more that feeling of ‘coming togetherness’

middleager, I don't know if its just me but I'm just relieved when DC come home. I don't know why I feel this way. I want DS 2 in school but at the same time I feel anxious because of the risk. He tells me that the corridors are packed, no SD in classes or around the school.

The economic fall out will be huge in terms of human missery. We have a social system that can not be adjusted to keep people safe.

I'm in my 40s so far in my lifetime I've lived through 4 economic crisis. Three have impacted my life choices. I was the unlucky cohort to sit the GCSEs the second year after there introduction. Financial help to students was cut so I could not study the course I wanted. The economic crisis soon after meant few job opportunities. The credit crunch effected my business because despite having lots of contracts I couldn't borrow from the bank. And then I think of my DC. Eldest was first year of new grading system for GCSE, he felt like a guinea pig, and then he has been unable to sit his A'levels. DC2 is worried about his exams and feels lost as to what to do after school.

I don't come from a disadvantaged background, but my life has been far harder than that of my parents. What concerns me now is that my own children will probably have a bigger struggle, and even less opportunities. And this isn't about Covid, its about life and the dignity of human life being servile to an inhumane economic social system that privileges profit over people. We have an economic system that is destroying the planet and human dignity, destroying the potential of individuals. Its a system that is so fragile that a virus can bring it in to crisis because its own inclination to continuous crisis means it can not allow for any change in political policy and human behaviour. It serves its own inner logic (which is full of contradictions) rather than serving the purpose of supporting human life.

And the joy is sucked out of all the normal distractions, mainly consuming, and reduced to productivity that will eventually cease with lack of consumption! So much of what we find joy in is tied to spending money. It probably defines us, so I'm inclined to think the missery of economic crisis goes beyond physical hardship. It becomes a psychological scar.

I feel so sad for young people.

It is shit op and I’m with you

Hopefully although case numbers rise, deaths won’t. They know a lot more about Covid than they did at the start which is improving outcomes and there are 165 vaccines in development.

Yes, as the days get shorter and everyone else gets to "go back to normal" (even if only a little bit with work and school), I feel completely invisible and quite frankly expendable. Not to mention bored and lonely.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really really busy but just all the tedious stuff that no one notices until it's not done while waiting for someone to bring the virus (or a different one) home.

@BrowncoatWaffles

This week feels more bleak than anything else. It’s just so relentless :/

This is how I feel this week too

The idea of it happening again is just awful. Like it was bad enough the first time but I just sort of got on with it, I didn’t realise how shit it was until it was nearing the end. And now the idea of going back to not really seeing my parents, no socialising, empty streets.. let alone Christmas. Fucking hell.

*BrowncoatWaffles

This week feels more bleak than anything else. It’s just so relentless :/

This is how I feel this week too sad*

Yes why does this week so different?

School back has really helped but I see every day as a boon atm

@MiniTheMinx

middleager, I don't know if its just me but I'm just relieved when DC come home. I don't know why I feel this way. I want DS 2 in school but at the same time I feel anxious because of the risk. He tells me that the corridors are packed, no SD in classes or around the school.

The economic fall out will be huge in terms of human missery. We have a social system that can not be adjusted to keep people safe.

I'm in my 40s so far in my lifetime I've lived through 4 economic crisis. Three have impacted my life choices. I was the unlucky cohort to sit the GCSEs the second year after there introduction. Financial help to students was cut so I could not study the course I wanted. The economic crisis soon after meant few job opportunities. The credit crunch effected my business because despite having lots of contracts I couldn't borrow from the bank. And then I think of my DC. Eldest was first year of new grading system for GCSE, he felt like a guinea pig, and then he has been unable to sit his A'levels. DC2 is worried about his exams and feels lost as to what to do after school.

I don't come from a disadvantaged background, but my life has been far harder than that of my parents. What concerns me now is that my own children will probably have a bigger struggle, and even less opportunities. And this isn't about Covid, its about life and the dignity of human life being servile to an inhumane economic social system that privileges profit over people. We have an economic system that is destroying the planet and human dignity, destroying the potential of individuals. Its a system that is so fragile that a virus can bring it in to crisis because its own inclination to continuous crisis means it can not allow for any change in political policy and human behaviour. It serves its own inner logic (which is full of contradictions) rather than serving the purpose of supporting human life.

And the joy is sucked out of all the normal distractions, mainly consuming, and reduced to productivity that will eventually cease with lack of consumption! So much of what we find joy in is tied to spending money. It probably defines us, so I'm inclined to think the missery of economic crisis goes beyond physical hardship. It becomes a psychological scar.

I feel so sad for young people.

Thought provoking.

Powerful post Mini

me too OP

Mini

I'm definitely not feeling as low as during lockdown because my children are back at school and that was always the hardest part for me. If the schools close again I will probably have a breakdown. DD is in year 11 and DS is autistic and struggles without school. I don't know if I can do it again.

I feel the same, still on furlough and just feel a bit worthless, kids and husband back to work and school and I'm stuck at home taking the dog 20 walks a day. Ive had enough. The dark nights and winter are quickly approaching. I really thought back in March that by September it would be over or at least nearing some sort of end.