I'm really concerned about the mental health impact of lockdown and wondered if anyone else felt the same

[BlueberryDream]

before lockdown I had an incredibly busy life. I worked FT in central London, a long commute from where I lived in Zone 6 (80 mins door to door one way) and my social life was based around going out after work and seeing friends there. I spoke at conferences, I jetted around the world spending 1 week out of 4 abroad.

my boss has massive health anxiety so the minute he even thought coronavirus was a threat he shut the office down (about a week before official lockdown). I then got coronavirus a week later and was sick for about a week (confirmed by a subsequent antibody test and my partner was tested at the time as he got it from me, but worse, and needed medical treatment). Our office has not reopened and there are no plans to fully reopen it till the new year.

in the meantime, it feels like my life has just stopped. I genuinely don't know what's happened. I've hardly been out since lockdown started. I realised yesterday I've not bought a coffee from a coffee shop since March when I was buying one almost every day (not an issue, but it just feels odd!). My commute involved me walking from Waterloo to the office (and back) which was about 5km a day and that's just stopped. Work is incessant at home - i work with different time zones. I used to have strict boundaries but because everyone is working at home, everyone is now expected to be more available so I find myself working from 8am to late at night. Even if I 'decide' to stop working, at say 7pm, I know the stuff will be waiting for me the next morning!

I decided to force myself out to go to the office, just to collect some things and it was like a ghost town. Nothing was open around the office. Not one shop. The city just looks weird and if anything it made me feel worse.

I am trying to force myself out for walks a few times a week but often I just don't get there or I go, on my own, and it just feels bizarre. A lot of my friends are shielding and don't want to meet up yet. The ones that do only want to meet up near where they live and I don't have a car and public transport just feels well odd. I hate wearing masks on the trains/tubes - it's so so hot on public transport with them on and it's putting me off going out but I am worried that I'm becoming some sort of hermit and when I have to go back out again, I'm not going to cope!

Is anyone else in the same boat?

Yes. Feel exactly the same and really struggling with my mental health. Working at home/living at work has blurred all the boundaries. Family( older teens/adults) pretty much all live in their own rooms on keyboards. Utterly demotivated and struggling to find pleasure in anything. Hate it and am dreading winter.

I'm sorry to hear you feel the same and that's exactly how I feel too.

my kids will all be off back to university soon too (also older teens/adults) and I'm actually dreading being stuck in at home by myself most of the time!

it's the first time I've actually spoken about this and I feel so relieved so thanks @dementedma for replying

people just assume I'm so capable given what my life was like before and I think don't realise that for me, everything seems to have stopped

I also realise things like gym for me - that was all done in town. I've cancelled my membership now because obviously i'm not there but I think it's mainly because my whole life was based around where I worked rather than where I live that I'm finding this isolation so incredibly difficult!

My mental health has improved dramatically during lock down....

But I’m an introvert

Working from home has been terrible for me, even though I’m an introvert and far less busy before than what you describe. I miss the separation between home and work. It’s so monotonous.

I do force myself to go out every day now though, to walk out and get a coffee or a sandwich or something to make me have a proper lunch break. That’s helped a little bit but I don’t think I’ll feel properly back to myself until I get back to the office at least part of the week.

Yes. I’m not WFH so much as living at work. My concentration is completely shot. I’m definitely struggling. And I really struggle with masks, so I find I’m going out less and less.

Pretty much. Lockdown basically caused my up until now fairly robust mental health to implode and I'm now on antidepressants.
Even though life has resumed a large portion of normality, especially compared to April, the blurring of home/work, the lack of contact, the having to book everything, everything is modified and just a bit shit. I'm sick of explaining to my kids why they can't do xyz or why ABC is shut. They're stoic wee souls, but I hate it.

I'm sorry to hear people are struggling too.

Believe it or not, I am an introvert too but one that forced themselves out to do the job I had before. Now without having to go out to do the job, I'm finding it impossible to force myself out as I can't see a 'purpose' for it (especially as you say it involves wearing masks, which I hate, and having to go on public transport anywhere).

my concentration is shot too @HainaultViaNewburyPark. I'm not sleeping well either! Fgs!

must be worse with small children @Notlostjustexploring !

My mental health is fucked. Everything good and fun in my life has gone.
How much longer are we seriously going to be expected to live this way?

I have been like this to an extent but it has gotten a little better since the kids went back to school and nursery as I was used to WFH anyway but with them around it was impossible and I felt drowned in guilt for either ignoring the kids for work or ignoring work for the kids.

I miss going out for lunch and shopping with DH the odd Saturday when the kids were at their grandparents. We could technically but I can't face all the rules and facemasks etc. then the worry of possibly infecting grandparents now they are back at school...

It's just all so crap.

I'm the opposite. Life was incredibly busy before, but now feel like Ive got my life back. Instead of a commute, I walk downstairs and set up the laptop. I go for a few walks a day. Everyone at work is on line so still talk to them during the day. Mental health is brill. I have time to think and time to enjoy things.

Yes. It is my biggest concern regarding this whole situation. I know of two people who committed suicide during lockdown. Also, I have a friend who works for a social services adoption team. For a period of three months during lockdown, the team got as many referrals as they would normally do during a year. I also know someone whose existing alcoholism got worse and this resulted in a family break up.

Firstly for all!

I have not loved lockdown nor has it been terrible. I have had to work harder at filling the days with decent things.

I think it is a complex MH picture nationally. Clearly many more adults are reporting problems. How much that is lockdown and how much it is health worries, money worries, uncertain future etc. is not yet clear.

Interestingly fewer teens reporting issues now schools are shut. This presumably will rise when schools go back.

You have identified some of the problems in your own posts op - no exercise, no boundaries, no hobbies. Could you try to put these in place and see if it helps? Maybe instead of going back to the old things, which will be very changed, try something new? Maybe based near your home rather than work.

I do crowbar myself off the sofa, just because it has to be done. I am also extremely strict about switching off and putting laptop in the cupboard.

I really hope you feel better soon. I think there's an understandable sense of grief around the loss (whether temporary or permanent) of our old lives.

I was on furlough for a long time but I'm back at work now (physically in the office) and feel so much better. YANBU, I hated being alone day in day out with nothing to look forward to. I actually enjoy a busy life, not sitting at home for the majority of the day.

Combine this impact with the already high wifework that women do and you have recipe for setting women back years and potentially irreversibly in many cases.
Of course this is not high on Tory agenda, being traditional and all.

My situation is entirely different to yours but I have struggled. I’ve recently been on a couple of short breaks (the second one to London) and can’t believe how much they have cheered me up. Walking through Soho in the evening and seeing people out enjoying themselves was amazing. Yes, public transport is weird but the more often you use it the less weird it seems (and masks are a nightmare as I’ve a tendency to overheat but I’m not letting that keep me at home).

Meeting people in real life is so much better than virtual chats, I would have done any travelling required to facilitate it.

Why don’t you join a gym near home?

(Have just read this back and realised how annoyingly upbeat I sound, I’m honestly not like that at all but I’m so glad I made the effort to do things, I feel so much better.)

I am stuck in a top floor flat with two tweens. I can escape for a walk sometimes which really helps me. Just start getting out daily into a green space, being in all the time is not good.

I've never really suffered with my mental health but as a lone parent during the lockdown I suffered massively. I wasn't suicidal but I began to see and understand how low someone must feel to go down that road. I fantasised about becoming ill so I could go into hospital to get away from my children and had a breakdown in the garden when my parents came round for a social distanced visit. We've agreed if we go back into lockdown then we will live together or bubble up to stop me going downhill again.

I feel like I've lost my daughter ☹️
I feel like we were close before and now she doesn't care at all

@FedUpofLockdown123

I've never really suffered with my mental health but as a lone parent during the lockdown I suffered massively. I wasn't suicidal but I began to see and understand how low someone must feel to go down that road. I fantasised about becoming ill so I could go into hospital to get away from my children and had a breakdown in the garden when my parents came round for a social distanced visit. We've agreed if we go back into lockdown then we will live together or bubble up to stop me going downhill again.

I get it. I'm single parent too But I don't have family support I'm still struggling

It's hard. My issue is more the anxiety of things opening back up though. Very worried about DS going back to school next week. I have been wfh and yes think it disrupts routine and it's more isolating as you don't get to see colleagues. But I would happily continue til next year given the chance, as I am worried about the alternative. We've seen a few friends and family outdoors over the summer, which has lifted my spirits. But as the weather gets worse into the autumn and DS gets higher risk due to the amount of people he will be mixing with a secondary school (so we won't be able to visit clinically vulnerable people indoors) I think winter is going to be fairly depressing.

I feel like I am existing and not living and more scared of mental health etc than the virus !

I am back at work in the office every day, I can’t believe how much better it makes you feel and I haven’t really suffered with MH to much in lockdown, I just feel fat and lethargic from eating to much and not having any goals. I’m now setting goals again and feel life is becoming a bit more normal. I’m looking forward to schools going back for my daughter’s sake and i’ve been encouraging her to go out with her friends as much as possible.

I struggled through lockdown but things have been better since June. I’m a parent, I think in some ways it helps & someways is harder. Lockdown was awful, I had a baby at the very start & my daughter had to deal with her whole life stopping & a new sister. She took it hard. It broke my heart to see her struggling with her jealousy & confusion. And I was so angry with the world that this is how my journey into having two kids was. Once my DD got back to nursery, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Her mood & happiness increased 10 fold and she was back to my smiley, happy, pleasant daughter again. Since then, we’ve had a fairly normal summer. Life has felt no that different. My shielding parents are back seeing us again as well. Doing odd bits of babysitting so we can enjoy dinner or an afternoon together. I’m dreading winter.. but we’ve already agreed that if nursery closes again, we are going to move in with our in-laws for some support!

*posted too soon!

Can you start seeing some friends OP? Colleagues? Go out for dinner or lunch? Shielding has ended now.. and you could have a socially distanced picnic? Do you have family you could see or who could drive & see you? I know masks are rubbish (I wear glasses & they drive me insane) but I’ve still had a couple pops to the shops for a little browse. Nice just to feel normal! I’ve had my haircut & my eyebrows down. Debating going back to the gym, not sure I have the energy with a 6 month old 🙈