I'm really concerned about the mental health impact of lockdown and wondered if anyone else felt the same

[BlueberryDream]

before lockdown I had an incredibly busy life. I worked FT in central London, a long commute from where I lived in Zone 6 (80 mins door to door one way) and my social life was based around going out after work and seeing friends there. I spoke at conferences, I jetted around the world spending 1 week out of 4 abroad.

my boss has massive health anxiety so the minute he even thought coronavirus was a threat he shut the office down (about a week before official lockdown). I then got coronavirus a week later and was sick for about a week (confirmed by a subsequent antibody test and my partner was tested at the time as he got it from me, but worse, and needed medical treatment). Our office has not reopened and there are no plans to fully reopen it till the new year.

in the meantime, it feels like my life has just stopped. I genuinely don't know what's happened. I've hardly been out since lockdown started. I realised yesterday I've not bought a coffee from a coffee shop since March when I was buying one almost every day (not an issue, but it just feels odd!). My commute involved me walking from Waterloo to the office (and back) which was about 5km a day and that's just stopped. Work is incessant at home - i work with different time zones. I used to have strict boundaries but because everyone is working at home, everyone is now expected to be more available so I find myself working from 8am to late at night. Even if I 'decide' to stop working, at say 7pm, I know the stuff will be waiting for me the next morning!

I decided to force myself out to go to the office, just to collect some things and it was like a ghost town. Nothing was open around the office. Not one shop. The city just looks weird and if anything it made me feel worse.

I am trying to force myself out for walks a few times a week but often I just don't get there or I go, on my own, and it just feels bizarre. A lot of my friends are shielding and don't want to meet up yet. The ones that do only want to meet up near where they live and I don't have a car and public transport just feels well odd. I hate wearing masks on the trains/tubes - it's so so hot on public transport with them on and it's putting me off going out but I am worried that I'm becoming some sort of hermit and when I have to go back out again, I'm not going to cope!

Is anyone else in the same boat?

@purpleme12

Sorry to hear that it must be really difficult having no family support . Will your children be returning to school or nursery?

Thank you
Yes she's going back to school
I don't know if I'll ever get her back like she was before lockdown now. It's ruined everything

I feel sorry for people whose lives have changed so dramatically. It sounds as if you were living life to the full and it's all been taken away from you. I hope you can rebuild things again after.

I understand. I've never had mental health issues and I will admit, I've had some incredibly low points with very very dark thoughts.

I’m a SAHM to 2 little ones so I can’t compare to anything work related but my mental health has plummeted.
6 months with nowhere to take the kids (I’m high risk so was being extra careful) my kids now hate eachother as siblings really shouldn’t spend this amount of time trapped at home with only eachother for a playmate, I’m miserable, they are miserable and I can’t stand the anxiety and risk assessment that comes with every aspect Of doing something ‘normal’

I agree with the sentiment upthread about living at work rather than wfh and I hate it! I'm hoping it will improve when the kids return to school but for now my mental health is low.

Yes live at work
There's no one to egg me on
I have no one to talk to apart from customers on the phone... Great
I don't know where to turn

Completely agree OP, a whole way of life was taken from us so suddenly and we have no idea when it will return.

I just hope and pray that this bloody thing is mutating to be weaker.....

I've also noticed my anxiety has got worse, anxiety in a physical form in hot flushes, pounding chest, hand tremors. I can't escape my thoughts. I'm not scared of the virus, it's nature after all but I want to be able to enjoy my children's childhoods without all these restrictions and hate towards one another. There's no spontaneity any more. How much longer can this go on for?

I don't know I can't see an end

And moment I wake up disapointed I've woke up. Tire of it all at moment.

Struggling with my mental health but only because I'm terrified it's a front for the Einsatzgruppen types.

I’ve been OK through lockdown, but I can absolutely understand how for all sorts of reasons it must’ve been really hard on many, many people.

My anxiety is now about going back to work. I’ve started socialising sensibly a bit and going out and about, but I’ve been told I’ll have to shortly return to working in a small, windowless office where I see clients all day long, one in/one out. I’m really uncomfortable with it, but I get the distinct impression that if I want to keep my job I’m going to need to play ball. It’s a worry.

I thought it would be over by now how naive !!! I am dreading Christmas and if not for my kids would not celebrate I am wishing my life away !!! Just what next March to be here !

I'm sorry to hear so many are struggling. @onedayinthefuture yes that's very much how I feel too

My kids are much older now (university age) but I imagine being stuck in with young dc must have been v hard @Zem74. I also look at the future for mine and can't see how they will get a job - they usually work all summer in a Thai restaurant near us but it closed over lockdown and hasn't reopened. My other one works in a pub and they've simply not taken student staff back again. And then they've got to go back to university with no freshers week, no clubs, online lectures etc

That is exactly the concept - living from work - I may not have liked all the aspects of it, I hated the commute etc. But I had never really realised how much of my social life was tied to it.

@purpleme12

Thank you Yes she's going back to school I don't know if I'll ever get her back like she was before lockdown now. It's ruined everything

My daughter became a shell of herself during lockdown sleeping constantly etc, I feel like we were both slipping into depression but once Nicola Sturgeon announced children could play together and she got out to play she was back to her old self. She's back at school now and it's like a bad dream thinking back on April/May/June. I hope your daughter goes back to her usual self and things improve for you both.

Thank you so much.
I'm glad yours is doing better