When your DC go back to school...

[BrandNewShinyThings]

Will you let them have contact with their grandparents? My 11 yr old is due to start Senior School and 16 yr old is off to Sixth Form college. We formed a bubble with my mum and dad (not single people, I know, but that was our joint decision). We've been in each others houses and have hugged.
My mum has underlying health conditions which mean she does very little exercise and is overweight. My Dad isn't very active and also overweight. My thoughts are that we should definitely go back to socially distanced chats as we did through lockdown but it will be very hard for them as we are very close as a family.
What are your thoughts/decisions if you are in a similar position?

What are their thoughts? Do they want to take the risk of catching it from you? Some would some wouldn’t.

Yeah, I would distance maybe see how things go?

I think schools will be basically the riskiest places bar a few factories for transmission, and I wouldn't share that with elderly relatives!

This is one reason there should be sd in schools - if it does go round it'll get back to GPs.

Are your parents meeting other people too?

The virus can both come from the school and go into the school.

I would go back to social distancing.

That's what I'm thinking, to go back to distancing. I haven't had the conversation with them yet but I would imagine they won't want to change anything, I'd just never forgive myself if one of my DS made them ill.

@BrandNewShinyThings

That's what I'm thinking, to go back to distancing. I haven't had the conversation with them yet but I would imagine they won't want to change anything, I'd just never forgive myself if one of my DS made them ill.

Yes, this is a worry, I know it would not be a child's fault but I worry they would feel it was. I hate this bloody virus!

Absolutely not. My parents are vulnerable and have been social distancing through necessity. We are having time now and making the most of it. It’s back to garden meet ups.

Absolutely! my parents and in laws want to enjoy their grandchildren and the grandchildren likewise want to enjoy their grandparents. They have a very strong bond and feel the lack of interaction is worse than a small chance of passing on covid. Both GPs are still going about their every day lives and not seeing the grandchildren is not an option for them. They have made that decision not me but equally if they decided they wanted to keep distance I would wholeheartedly respect that.
All are in the 60s and still working although FIL was shielding he's now returned to work.

And this is why will have a second wave. Because there will be cases passed around in school and back to grandparents. People can’t have it all ways. If they want children to go back to school with no mitigations in place to prevent spread then they need to be responsible and not see elderly or vulnerable relatives. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Yes. But my mum is 51 so not elderly, plus she has already had Covid and tested positive for antibodies.

@Worriedmum999

And this is why will have a second wave. Because there will be cases passed around in school and back to grandparents. People can’t have it all ways. If they want children to go back to school with no mitigations in place to prevent spread then they need to be responsible and not see elderly or vulnerable relatives. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Totally agree. Only thing to do is to make sure it is they're grandparents not your family.

I really don't understand why/how do many people are doing magical thinking, that the virus has gone away.

Older people are still at risk of they catch it.

Oh wow typos!

They're = their
Do = so
Of = if

No, we actually all talked about it the other day and ils were edging around it and we said we'd probably have to go back to Zoom calls, distancing etc. They were really relieved!!

I wouldn’t take the risk. But granny is lonely and desperately wants to continue seeing her grandkids (including the one commuting by public buses) and says she’s happy with the risk. I’m not sure she fully understands (she doesn’t watch the news or read the papers, I do my best to supply good information in a format she’s comfortable with) but she’s an adult and in the end it’s her choice.

Should have said in OP, they are both in their 70s. I will have the conversation with them as I cannot see how we can continue as we are. Its going to be so much harder when the weather gets colder and the evenings get darker, I do think a lot of older people's mental health will suffer

So much harder in terms of sitting out in the garden for a distanced cuppa and catch up I mean

brandnew my ILs have remained shielding throughout so my kids haven't been able to give them a hug since early March. They live a fair way away from us and won't visit us and we can only go and visit them from the end of their garden. My FIL says he won't leave the house until there is a vaccine. I worry about their mental health so much. At the moment my MIL pops over to friends for a cup of tea in their garden but this will be so difficult over the winter. I don't think we will see them for months at this rate. I pointed out that now would be the safest time to see the kids, before they are back in school and before we are back in our work offices.

My 4/5 of my main group of friends work with children in different settings, three of us in bubbles of 100. We're all of the mindset that we see our families now before we return, as we didn't want to risk seeing them before the break. We SD when we get together, and we'll definitely have to stay outside for winter meet ups with the size of our bubbles

@Worriedmum999

And this is why will have a second wave. Because there will be cases passed around in school and back to grandparents. People can’t have it all ways. If they want children to go back to school with no mitigations in place to prevent spread then they need to be responsible and not see elderly or vulnerable relatives. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

This! What does everyone want, to keep seeing grandparents or to have schools open? If cases start to rise it is likely we can’t have both. I think children’s education has suffered enough and they need to be in school. If that means no close contact with grandparents over winter then so be it!

We're all going to be investing in patio heaters and goose down coats at this rate! I was just reading on another thread about grandparents who do childcare, this is a whole other issue and would have been me last year. I have given up work now so I can be around and my boys are older anyway, but it must be a nightmare for those relying on GPs for childcare.

Yes but only socially distanced. DD is back at school Wednesday, we went and met up with her nan in a park at the end of last week as not allowed to meet in houses/gardens here. I said to Nan that they should have a hug because it's the last time for a while that I'd be able to have any confidence that neither me or DD had CV. Once she's back at school at any minute she could have it.

Nan lives with her DP and her mum so in the house are 2 over 79s and a 92 yr old with health problems. We've been very very careful and last week was the first hug since March.

What though if grandparents live in the same house? Can’t really stay apart then. Plenty of multigenerational households.

I have been wondering this. We made sure we visited vulnerable GP this week before school started (living on other side of UK). My mum is local though and I really don't know. Going to make sure we see her before school lots and see how things go I guess.

The virus is going to go round schools like wildfire, especially secondaries. Look at Berlin - several schools closed there with smaller classes, masks and social distancing. Anyone who thinks our schools are safe the way they are is deluded. Doesn't necessarily mean they shouldn't be going back but does mean the kids and staff need to not see elderly or vulnerable relatives where possible (whole other thread needed on vulnerable staff and kids!).

I'd agree you need to go back to following the guidelines and just meet the grandparents in a socially distanced way. You can still go in your house (unless you're in one of the areas with stricter lockdown rules). Your DC are old enough to understand this and will not be running to the grandparents for a hug, so can't see why it is an issue. With schools going back so many extra transmission routes are opened, that everyone has to be really careful to stick to the guidelines outside of school so they don't increase any further.

This! What does everyone want, to keep seeing grandparents or to have schools open? If cases start to rise it is likely we can’t have both. I think children’s education has suffered enough and they need to be in school. If that means no close contact with grandparents over winter then so be it!

Yes but we're allowed to have a discussion about it, on a discussion forum