When your DC go back to school...

[BrandNewShinyThings]

Will you let them have contact with their grandparents? My 11 yr old is due to start Senior School and 16 yr old is off to Sixth Form college. We formed a bubble with my mum and dad (not single people, I know, but that was our joint decision). We've been in each others houses and have hugged.
My mum has underlying health conditions which mean she does very little exercise and is overweight. My Dad isn't very active and also overweight. My thoughts are that we should definitely go back to socially distanced chats as we did through lockdown but it will be very hard for them as we are very close as a family.
What are your thoughts/decisions if you are in a similar position?

@SchrodingersUnicorn

The virus is going to go round schools like wildfire, especially secondaries. Look at Berlin - several schools closed there with smaller classes, masks and social distancing. Anyone who thinks our schools are safe the way they are is deluded. Doesn't necessarily mean they shouldn't be going back but does mean the kids and staff need to not see elderly or vulnerable relatives where possible (whole other thread needed on vulnerable staff and kids!).

It's quite scary really and I do wonder if even meeting at a distance indoors is safe

My parents 69/73 have made it very clear that they have no intention of staying away from the children. My DD12 had a great bond with two very active grandmothers and will be seeing both for half term sleepovers and shopping.

My parents feel that they have had their time and anything could get them now so they'd rather enjoy every last minute.

Also mum is a school invigilator and I work on a school so we are as at risk as the kids now.

We have spent lots of time indoors together though still haven't hugged.

@Racoonworld not all grandparents are elderly. My mum is the same age as some mums of school age children.

Im not locking my Mum up for the rest of her life, her choice, chances of catching Covid are miniscule, so she will see her grandchildren.
She wants to live while she is alive, Covid is here to stay!

The truth of the matter though is that a lot of families rely on grandparents for childcare...

If grandparents can no longer be utilised in this way then it means parents will not be able to return to work in the same way they used to.

I think Boris knows this and so will be reluctant to put a ban on different family households being in contact with each other.

My parents live nearby and we have not been hugging or inside each other’s houses at all. We’ve been to each other’s gardens regularly just for a quick chat once or twice a week and actually we are all happy with continuing that, albeit wrapping up warmer as the weather turns. The cold is fine, it’s the rain that will be a nuisance. My parents strongly want to continue as we are - we are still seeing each other and able to hold normal conversations which is a whole lot better than the other set of grandparents who are shielding and live hundreds of miles away and have to make do with video calls.

PS My children are also older so fully understand the situation so it’s easier for us, I guess, than those with young children.

We’ve decided we won’t be visiting the in-laws because fil is very unwell. We’ve just started going into my parents’ house but not sure if we will continue to do so; my gut says no but I guess it’s up to them.

I have the same concerns. My mum is in our bubble right now but I think we will take a step back when the kids are back at school. We've spent time together over the summer as we have all been cautious and haven't mixed with any other households or taken other risks.

The school risk though, particularly my eldest at a large Secondary school, means that, for us, more care needs to be taken again. I'll go back to visiting my mum in her garden and keeping 2m distancing. We'll do that until we see how the school return pans out.

I am worried about Christmas though. I can't see things improving over the winter. We usually have a house full of relatives but I just can't see how that is going to happen right now.

Ugh I don't want to think about Christmas We always have my mum and dad to us at Christmas. Guess we'll have had time to see how things are going at school by then...

My teens will not be seeing their grandparents or extended family; they are at a high school, a 6th form college and I teach in another high school. My parents are vulnerable with my father with a lung condition and my auntie is now in heart failure after having COVID (confirmed as a direct result. Her husband died from it). My cousins will obviousl not see me as they need to care for their mother now. My partner's parents will also not see us, primarily because of my job rather than the kids.

I completely understand.

@MaryBerrysBomberJacket so sorry to hear of this you are of course doing completely the right thing, I'm sure it must be so hard even though you have no choice

We've only been having socially distanced meet ups with my parents outside anyway, so will continue to do that.

Hoping for a mild autumn and winter so we can see each other outdoors! Have resigned ourselves to the fact that we won't spend time together at xmas.

As a teacher, I quarantined after the end of term (having been in full-time from 1st June) before visiting my elderly parents - as they live too far away for anything other than staying over, a SD outside visit isn't feasible.

Neither I nor my DC - late teens so sixth form / uni; I am in school; DH also in an educational setting - would dream of visiting them during term time. The next holiday long enough for quarantine is Christmas, with a possible visit on the final weekend before returning to school IF none of us have any close social contact with anyone else during that period.

Luckily, my parents have each other and are technologically adept so we Zoom weekly and they are not lonely.

That's entirely up to the grandparents.

My mum is 54 and has been seeing my son throughout (he's at nursery) and will be when he starts school in September too.

I agree entirely that it depends on the grandparents and their age and state of health. The precautions recommended for those who are mid-80s are obviously different from those who are in their early 50s!

I was preparing to think, God not another Covid/school thread OP but thank you, this hadn't really occurred to me.

We've been going into PILs for a couple of months (as stated on another thread) because they can't physically cope without it but actually when DD goes back to school next week (thank God, she was getting so fed up) we should probably go back to just DH taking the shopping in and doing essentials with me and DD standing on the front lawn chatting to them.