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Covid

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Anyone else dreading kids going back to school

102 replies

MysteryMama · 23/08/2020 19:52

Ive kept my DC safe and isolated since March. They’ve barely seen another person during this time.
Homeschooling was a bit of a flop, I won’t lie.
But I’m literally lying awake at night, worrying about them going back. The media is saying it’s safe, etc. But I’m not convinced.
Don’t get me wrong, they’ve driven me to the brink of sanity most days, but I’d rather them be safe and healthy. DC2 is prone to viral asthma and all the DC were born very prematurely(no real ongoing health issues though-but I’ve seen them on ventilators before and I still have nightmares about it)
Anyone else considering hiding from the world in a cave with their DC?

OP posts:
Greenglassteacup · 23/08/2020 19:57

Nope

LucyLocketsPocket · 23/08/2020 19:58

No. Looking forward to getting some normality back. Sorry about your DCs health issues.

BillywilliamV · 23/08/2020 20:00

Half of Mumsnet, expect they'll be along in a moment..

Cookerhood · 23/08/2020 20:01

This is one of the worst aspects of this - making people terrified to leave their homes. Do you keep.them off when flu is doing the rounds?

Beebityboo · 23/08/2020 20:02

You are not alone. I have developed pretty terrible insomnia due to worrying about them going back. All we can do (if we can't deregister) is take it one day at a time and pull them out if cases begin to rise in our local areas.
I've agonised over this decision for months as I'm vulnerable to Covid, but where my youngest two are concerned I don't think I have any choice but to send them back as their mental health is beginning to suffer.
It's going to be a difficult few months.

inpontypandyallday · 23/08/2020 20:06

Yes but not because I'm worried about covid, because I hate the fact that, at the age of four, she will have to sit at a desk on her own and face the front.

Arcadia · 23/08/2020 20:10

Mine's been going in throughout as a keyworker child, then to kids clubs over the summer. No concerns at all.

Tfoot75 · 23/08/2020 20:11

Just looking forward to my children being able to access an education and motivation to learn again really.

The virus is extremely low risk for children (lower than something like chicken pox), I've not seen any link between complications of covid and asthma, particularly in children (where there is not enough data to find a link to anything apart from childhood cancer, as this virus does not seem to affect children seriously as a rule).

Sorry, I just don't see the toss up between an education and risking something that you probably won't even know they've had.

Babyfairy0923 · 23/08/2020 20:12

Yes I’m also anxious, DH is high risk group.

Tfoot75 · 23/08/2020 20:12

@inpontypandyallday

Yes but not because I'm worried about covid, because I hate the fact that, at the age of four, she will have to sit at a desk on her own and face the front.
Assuming you're in the UK, the play based curriculum of reception hasn't changed at all?! They won't be sitting at desks.
TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 23/08/2020 20:14

That sounds horrible op. Anxiety feels awful. I think your children are objectively likely extremely low risk when it comes to the virus. I hope things will feel safer as they go back and you can see they're ok and having a lovely time at school. But I get it's worrying. Lots of people will be feeling just like you.

tootiredtospeak · 23/08/2020 20:15

No cant wait. My DS is crying out for company of his own age.

inpontypandyallday · 23/08/2020 20:16

Assuming you're in the UK, the play based curriculum of reception hasn't changed at all?! They won't be sitting at desks.

That is what they'll be doing at my DD's school. We are in the UK.

AlandAnna · 23/08/2020 20:17

No. Can’t wait. They will all be fine, honestly Flowers

mumof3boyssoneverinbarefeet · 23/08/2020 20:20

Scotland here so my boys have been back at school now for a week and I can't believe the difference in them. They are so happy and alive again being with their friends and back at school...it far outweighs any concerns I had

Bupkis · 23/08/2020 20:20

Yes, very worried and trying to make sure we do the right thing.

Ds has been shielding from March to August, he has a rare genetic condition and complex needs. I would prefer to keep him home, but as all children are supposed to go back, we will be fined if we decide to keep him off.

At the moment I think we will be sending him in, but if there are cases at school or a rise in cases locally, then we will have to decide whether to risk a fine.

Lemons1571 · 23/08/2020 20:21

There’s no option really is there. You either homeschool effectively and deregister, or they go back and you take each day as it comes. I’m a bit nervous but I can’t really keep a “year 11 GCSE’s next May” kid off can I

RaspberryRuff · 23/08/2020 20:21

I understand being apprehensive but unless someone in your household is shielding I don’t think you’ve done your kids any favours by keeping them cooped up so long.

NothingIsWrong · 23/08/2020 20:21

Nope. They and I both desperately need it. I'm not blind to the risks, but on balance they need to be in school

Stellaris22 · 23/08/2020 20:24

No. This has taught me I am not a teacher and teachers have qualifications for a reason. Mine needs to go back to proper education and to socialise. We will continue to be our usual careful selves despite being back at primary school.

tootyfruitypickle · 23/08/2020 20:25

@mumof3boyssoneverinbarefeet that’s so reassuring, my dd is in such a bad way after being at home so long, I’m hoping that she bounces back quickly too. Conversely, I’m lying awake worrying that they won’t go back!

DidSheReallySayThat20 · 23/08/2020 20:27

No, I can't wait. Ds really needs it. Hormonal and out of routine has made tensions really high. He actually hated school but keeps saying he can't wait to go back.
DH has worked off and on throughout. None of us are in high risk categories.
And our huge city only has around 8 cases a week.. Over 250,000 live here.

OverTheRainbow88 · 23/08/2020 20:28

I think once they are back you’ll feel differently.

I was worried about my kids going back to nursery in June... first day was very anxious, since then haven’t been worried at all.

I was worried about going out for a meal in a restaurant, night before I went was quite worried... went, had a great time haven’t worried since.

I think the idea of it is building up to be far scarier than it is... once they are back and settled and happy you’ll feel better again.

hopsalong · 23/08/2020 20:36

I think there's an element of the sunk cost fallacy here. I don't say this to berate you (covid has done funny things to all of us). But recognising it might help you to feel less anxious.

You were absolutely right to keep your kids home in March, as we were told to do, and when much less about the illness was known. (It was known from the beginning that kids were less affected, but I think how powerfully age-stratified this virus actually is has only become apparent over time. Not sure if there is another like it.) However, it can't have escaped your notice that a lot of people have returned essentially to normal life. You could have taken your kids on a summer holiday, on lots of playdates, swimming, to see their relatives, for meals in restaurants, to the bookshops to choose new books, to the climbing frame in the mark every day. Etc.

If you didn't do these things because you were anxious about the virus, it's possible that you simply made a bad parenting choice and deprived your children unnecessarily of fun and stimulating things this summer as well as (more important in my view) social relations outside the home.
This is a sunk cost. You've done that. We are all very prone to rationalising our sunk costs as the right choice, so that we can justify them.

Here it might be time to let it go. There has not been any reason for people without serious health conditions or children/ family with similar to be unduly anxious about this virus for months. It's fine to go back to school.

The rational things to worry about are a) the long-term effect on your children of losing six months of normal life and education, b) any non-covid health problems they might have that you've been putting off getting checked out (hearing tests, skin problems, digestive issues, anything...), c) your family's financial position.

Rather than making the first experience of going out in the world being school (I used to dread it for all the normal reasons), why not make the next week all about all the fun you can have with them in the last week of summer? Definitely make sure they see their friends; going back to school if the other children have all been meeting up all summer will make them feel left out.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 23/08/2020 20:37

I'm in two minds. Nervous, but will also be sort of a relief them getting back to normal.
One thing I'm undecided about it dd (3) is due to start nursery for her 15 hrs. I'm just not sure whether to send her or not?

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