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Anyone else dreading kids going back to school

102 replies

MysteryMama · 23/08/2020 19:52

Ive kept my DC safe and isolated since March. They’ve barely seen another person during this time.
Homeschooling was a bit of a flop, I won’t lie.
But I’m literally lying awake at night, worrying about them going back. The media is saying it’s safe, etc. But I’m not convinced.
Don’t get me wrong, they’ve driven me to the brink of sanity most days, but I’d rather them be safe and healthy. DC2 is prone to viral asthma and all the DC were born very prematurely(no real ongoing health issues though-but I’ve seen them on ventilators before and I still have nightmares about it)
Anyone else considering hiding from the world in a cave with their DC?

OP posts:
IceCreamSummer20 · 23/08/2020 23:58

It is totally normal and I believe rational to have concerns. The virus hasn’t disappeared, and children going in to big classes is a jump in risk if you haven’t really seen any other people.

I do have a scientific background, understand risk logically, and for it is worth I have concerns but I am sending my kids back to school. I do think test and trace needs to be much, much better however in order for schools to safely reopen, I do want smaller classes, more hybrid learning, mask considerations and good ventilation. I am pushing for these changes as evidence emerges.

It is also worth looking at your local area OP. What are the rates? If it is very low then it is safer to send your kids to school. It is a risk, but then again children’s wellbeing is also really important. And if you’ve not done great at home school, no blame, but maybe you do need to look at getting them back into school.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 23/08/2020 23:59

I'm considering deregistering one of mine. One is fine, will take this is their stride and will benefit massively from social interaction. The other isn't, school is a massive anxiety point and the new rules they have in are either going to see them swiftly suspended or break them. They need the social side and better education than I can give them though. And that's without worrying about their grandparents, though tbh they're their own liability so that's less of a concern now.

Shockingstocking · 24/08/2020 00:06

We've done really well at home school and we're keeping ours off this term with the full support of the school.

I don't think schools will stay open long in our area (they shouldn't, looking at the numbers) and I'd prefer them to know exactly what they're doing.

School has no social distancing, the bubble idea is a joke, I have concerns for one of my children and another close family member. It may be safer and better for children on the whole to go to school with social distancing and masks but it is not better for my children to go to school with the current arrangements.

Shockingstocking · 24/08/2020 00:07

I certainly won't be deregistering and the school won't be asking us to.

I think that's a ridiculous idea.

ktp100 · 24/08/2020 00:15

The flippancy on here is sickening.

Nobody seems to give one solitary shit about vulnerable parents. Why wouldn't someone who is likely to die from Covid be worried about massively increasing their likelihood of catching it?

doubleshotespresso · 24/08/2020 00:25

OP I'm with you 100%.

I feel exceptionally torn, feel like I'd be failing as a parent in many ways sending our child back so soon without the reassurances and safe systems we were promised.
Equally I feel crap at the prospect of fines, and of course more Social interactions missed. But the risks are high and home school for us has been a huge positive (SEND with an extensive EHCP). Speech and focus has really been able to progress and flourish here but can I replicate this indefinitely? Would the school support me further?

I resent the fact parents are effectively being shoved into a hard corner with no choices or plan b, when it's very clear in areas like ours we are going to need one.

We have also stayed pretty much at home, no guests, no play dates etc.... My parents recently started visiting again but if I send DC back they'll have to stop I think...

I feel nauseous at this prospect it's like a ticking bomb in my head...

BRUTUS are doing great things, as above in a previous post, please do give them a look, there are some very credible stats and articles, support etc shared there that very much support your concerns.

We are due an update next Wednesday on guidelines for education, we will make some decisions after that I think

ZombieFan · 24/08/2020 00:39

Their is more people dying from the flu everyday than from Corona virus. Children will be safer in school than at home.

NavyKitchen · 24/08/2020 00:51

I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not hugely terrified about the health risks (although we've joined with another family to take and pick up our secondary children rather than have them crammed on the school bus) but I'm going to miss them being at home.
We've enjoyed home schooling, especially ds3 (9) and enjoyed some much needed family time. I've been lucky (although not financially) to be off work and dh was furloughed for two months. I realise this isn't the same for a lot of people but, for us, it's worked.
Admittedly, I am a real home bird but I'm not looking forward to the running around, the rushed homework, the feeling that dh and I are 'ships that pass'.

inpontypandyallday · 24/08/2020 00:52

Why wouldn't someone who is likely to die from Covid

What are you on about. Even an eighty year old with an underlying health condition is more likely to survive it than not.

Uhoh2020 · 24/08/2020 00:53

@ktp100

The flippancy on here is sickening.

Nobody seems to give one solitary shit about vulnerable parents. Why wouldn't someone who is likely to die from Covid be worried about massively increasing their likelihood of catching it?

At what point did OP say she was a vulnerable parent with a massive increase in the chances of dying if she caught covid? The only illness she has described is asthma with one of the children and despite being born prematurely dont have any other serious medical issues.
inpontypandyallday · 24/08/2020 00:53

She will presumably be in a room full of other children with a teacher. Sorry but why is it traumatic to face the front of a room? That's where the teacher will be. I've taught children from 4 to 18. I've never seen any be bothered by sitting at a table and looking at the front of the classroom.

As an early years practitioner, that is not the way young children should be experiencing school.

BadAbbot · 24/08/2020 01:09

Yes. I want schools back but I want them socially distanced. They will not be. I wish they’d switch to a sustainably plan.

All the science saying it’s safe is based on tiny classes and socially distanced classes so it gives me reassurance that socially distanced classes could be lower risk. A rush I could take.

Bit full classes? If there’s a chance of transmission as there is where I live? No way.

Schools around the would that have opened fully and been exposed to a case saw transmission. It’s important to only consider full schools with cases here. Not gloat that socially distanced schools were ok or that schools with no cases didn’t spread it. Of course they didn’t!!!

BadAbbot · 24/08/2020 01:12

@ZombieFan

Their is more people dying from the flu everyday than from Corona virus. Children will be safer in school than at home.
Another misinterpretation of the data for influenza and pneumonia.
Saltyauntiepoop · 24/08/2020 01:15

I'm only dreading seeing the parents as i gained weight. Excited that my dc will see their friends and resume 'normality' at last.

Singlemum31 · 24/08/2020 01:24

I don't want it to go back to "normal" Im used to this now love having my 3 children with me, OK some days are harder than others but I'm not ready for school runs long weeks and quick weekends, it's all so bluhh. Not worried about covid, I just like my life like this Smile

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 24/08/2020 01:30

I’m a bit nervous. I’ve bought uniform but I’m still not 100% that I’m sending my daughter. She’s loved being homeschooled and she would prefer that to continue. I do want her to go back but with no masks, no social distancing, bubbles of 250 and rates rising, I’m not sure what we’ll decide.
My son will be starting college and will be more able to social distance due to smaller class sizes and less subjects and classes. The college have already talked about the possibility of zoom lessons and seem to be open to wearing masks so I feel more comfortable.
We’ll see how things go in the next couple of weeks. I took her out a week before schools shut last time and if we do send her, I won’t hesitate to do that again.

locked2020 · 24/08/2020 01:35

@Beebityboo

I think that's really unfair *@spookathon*. It is not abusive to do everything in your power to keep your children from harm. For better or worse the government and the media terrified people half to death (remember the "you will lose loved ones" speech?) to ensure lockdown compliance . I also find your statement hugely offensive to the disabled, vulnerable and shielding families that had no choice to stay locked away until very recently. The OP is worried and coming here for reassurance and instead you've accused her of abusing her children.
This
dailygrowl · 24/08/2020 05:40

I think it depends on what age your children are, OP. Older children aged 11-14 seem to have benefited best from lockdown and online schooling: they're old enough to have heard and seen news reports and adult conversations about Covid 19 and want to be safe. Young children aged 4 to 10 may find prolonged isolation at home unsettling, surreal and claustrophobic. Unlike an adult or older kids, they have had fewer years of living to be reassured that things can go back to a safe normal.

You're probably going to be bmnbarded by a lot of trolls and self anointed "virologists" here who claim to be experts on Covid and say you're overreacting. And yet Britain has had 30-something to 40-something mothers die of Covid and 12 to 16 year olds dropping dead from it. Nobody gets magical immunity from Covid just because they're under 50. Or because they're in a school uniform. Regardless of what politicians and scientists assigned by politicians proclaim, there's no denying the fact that over 40,000 have died from it and all public health physicians agree it that Covid has increased the number of deaths that normally occur in March to July in any given year apart from WW2 many times over. And ITU consultants have warned that if case numbers rise again, the government has simply not provided enough staff, ITU wards, ITU equipment or PPE to treat huge numbers of patients. Forget clapping, rainbows or "protecting the NHS" - the government has simply not done enough to provide for the population should case numbers rise and that has partly caused the huge death toll.

The school gates do not confer magical immunity from Covid to any adult or child just because they step through them. Interestingly, a mental health study done by psychologists recently has revealed that many teens and other pupils have seen their anxiety levels go down in lockdown- possibly because many no longer have to face bullies or stresses of various kinds (eg tests, projects, sports matches, etc) from a hectic school timetable, and perhaps may have had a supportive group of teachers during lockdown who have been accessible by email where they were previously difficult to make time to speak to.

A chat I had with various parents during lockdown found us invariably discussing when the "best" or "worst" time to go into lockdown was. Eg we all agreed we were relieved not to be in a GCSE or A Level year; some said they would not have liked to be doing entrance exams this year, others said their kids had been relieved to be at home so as not to have to go into lessons with disruptive classmates and instead enjoyed being able to read and learn in peace and quiet, supported by an understanding teacher. It really depends on what year your kids are in, OP.

With regard health concerns for yourself and your children, it may be worth making a phone appointment with your GP (or hospital consultant/s if you or your DC are under hospital review) to find out what ways you could be taking precautions to minimise infection. Unless your school has a complete ban on masks, it is definitely worth discussing this with your DCs' teachers about letting your children go in with masks. Germany, Taiwan, Hong Kong and other nations where children and teachers (and bus drivers, parents, canteen staff etc) returned to school or work all wearing masks have had great success in keeping infection rates and death rates down. Viruses want a host - it doesn't care about our "bravery" or our politics. If you don't offer yourself up as a surface for the virus to attach to, the virus won't spread to you easily.

Nobody here can tell you what the right or wrong decision is. If your DCs have lovely classes of friends and sensible, supportive teachers and a headteacher who is supportive and committed to safety, there are obvious pluses of the children returning to school. But being without a school building for a year isn't going to turn your children into illiterate oafs for life either- children in the Australian outback have had distance schooling for generations and cope- even attain great academic success. Many children with chronic illness are homeschooled and also do well: I have met several whose intellectual capacity and academic attainment were truly impressive despite having to have major surgery or hospitalisation 2-3 times every year. But if you do wish to keep them off for longer, consider a proper homeschooling program and deregister so that you get more support from the homeschooling materials and organisations. Also schools will not be able to offer regular online teaching or support like they did during March to July once the school year starts in September. . Best of luck in what you decide, but do speak to your doctor and your DCs' teachers for support.

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 24/08/2020 06:32

I don't know if this will reassure anyone and am not trying to sway anyone. I am going into my classroom today to clean my tables with anti bac and Milton my Lego etc. I also have their trays and pencil pots to get ready with all their personal pencils etc.

I will also be writing birthday cards for all my children from last year who had their birthdays out of the classroom and get their badges and pencils. Yes I am a bit OTT but it's the little things that matter.

I will be opening my classroom windows and doors to get plenty of fresh air in. I have to admit I do most of this every year but there will be a bit more cleaning and money spent on pencil pots and individual whiteboards and 100 squares!

It will be as near to normal as it can be for
the sake of the children and me!

Waxonwaxoff0 · 24/08/2020 06:49

No, I can't wait. DS is an only child, he's been isolated from his peers for far too long. None of us are vulnerable though, I can understand the concerns of those who are.

Wecandothis99 · 24/08/2020 06:56

I wish my kid was old enough to start school if I'm honest!

Givemeallthewine · 24/08/2020 06:57

You sound like a complete star @stayingaliveisawayoflife 🌟

I have a couple of close friends who work in schools in the front office. They feel slightly nervous, but more for themselves / the adult spread. They are quite happily sending their own kids back into school.

I just can’t understand why the gvmt hasn’t set up some mass, random testing program in schools for the new term? Each school could conduct 100+ randomised tests per week on kids.... catch the asymptomatic transmission before it causes an outbreak.

I’d also like to know what happens when 1 child in a class tests positive - is it just that whole class who has to self isolate, or the entire year group? Will they all be given 2 weeks worth of homeschool to do whilst they’re all sitting at home? We seem to have such little info about how it will work....

KitKatastrophe · 24/08/2020 07:04

@ktp100

The flippancy on here is sickening.

Nobody seems to give one solitary shit about vulnerable parents. Why wouldn't someone who is likely to die from Covid be worried about massively increasing their likelihood of catching it?

People are vulnerable to all sorts of things. Some people could become very seriously ill from norovirus or flu but dont keep their kids out of school indefinitely on the off chance they they bring it home. Especially if they are unable to properly homeschool.
middleager · 24/08/2020 07:07

@stayingaliveisawayoflife

I don't know if this will reassure anyone and am not trying to sway anyone. I am going into my classroom today to clean my tables with anti bac and Milton my Lego etc. I also have their trays and pencil pots to get ready with all their personal pencils etc.

I will also be writing birthday cards for all my children from last year who had their birthdays out of the classroom and get their badges and pencils. Yes I am a bit OTT but it's the little things that matter.

I will be opening my classroom windows and doors to get plenty of fresh air in. I have to admit I do most of this every year but there will be a bit more cleaning and money spent on pencil pots and individual whiteboards and 100 squares!

It will be as near to normal as it can be for
the sake of the children and me!

You sound like a lovely teacher!

OP, I'm losing sleep over the fear that my soon to be year 10s' education has already been impacted at this crucial stage in their education. If they were younger, if I didn't work, if they or we had health issues then I would think differently.

I need them to go back. I'm also worried about if school closes. Their online learning just didn't work effectively for them. My children need lessons - I can't explain year 10 Maths and I'm working flat out in my own job. Yes, they can learn independently, but you can't equal the impact of a teacher or even online/recorded lessons, which we did not get. They need that social interaction too. Staring at a screen for 5 hours a day in isolation is not healthy for a child.

I work in education and our schools are doing all they can to give students the safest and best learning environments. Our teachers have the option of wearing masks (I know some don't) and while I fully support the full reopening of schools I undersrand many teachers' concerns.

epythymy · 24/08/2020 07:14

@MysteryMama

Ive kept my DC safe and isolated since March. They’ve barely seen another person during this time. Homeschooling was a bit of a flop, I won’t lie. But I’m literally lying awake at night, worrying about them going back. The media is saying it’s safe, etc. But I’m not convinced. Don’t get me wrong, they’ve driven me to the brink of sanity most days, but I’d rather them be safe and healthy. DC2 is prone to viral asthma and all the DC were born very prematurely(no real ongoing health issues though-but I’ve seen them on ventilators before and I still have nightmares about it) Anyone else considering hiding from the world in a cave with their DC?
But you're not keeping them "safe and healthy" are you? Confused In what world is keeping your children isolated healthy? When there is more risk of them dying from being stuck by lightning how are you keeping them safe exactly? You're jeopardising their futures. Not sure what age they are but they may never catch up meaning that they end up poorer as a result which is more likely to lead to bad health both physically and mentally.